Kinda confused, scared and/or nervous...and a bit of a rant

I've been on Effexor for about 5-7 years. I seemed to have developed a tolerance for it and was upped from 150 mg to 300mg and Wellbutrin was added too.

I was doing well on the 2 but changed jobs and lost my insurance coverage. I stopped taking the meds about 6 months ago. A few weeks ago, I began feeling pretty low and couldn't take it. So, I saw my doc last week. He's new to the practice and it was my first time meeting him.

He actually talked to me for about an hour. And, he asked if i'd be willing to see a shrink. I told him I would be. He also mentioned he thinks I may be bipolar but couldn't be sure without an evaluation. I believe he asked if I'd be willing to do that and again i said I would.

The purpose of the appointment was so I could have them fill out the physician's portion of a financial aid type application for free/discounted meds from the pharmaceutical company. That was taken care of and I was told I should hear in about 7-10 days if i'm accepted or denied.

But, there was NO mention of a referral or evaluation. I didn't ask about it because I thought it would be scheduled as I was paying my bill. I was wrong.
Ever since that appointment, I've been feeling so off. I've been really tired (can feel the tiredness in my bones), down, but my heart and mind have both been racing, and haven't really been able to sleep well let alone do much of anything productive.

I don't think I can make it 'til I find out if i'm accepted/denied for that program. And i really think I could use a shrink to help me figure stuff out and get my crap together. I just feel so out of it and can't stand it. On top of that, my mom's been bugging me a bit about being tired all the time and not doing anything (well i do go to work).

My mom also just started getting on my case tonight about helping straighten up the iving room to start getting ready for Xmas, of all things. She wants me to help her get rid of stuff, reorganize and etc. The thing is, I never go in the living room except to pass through on my way to the kitchen. All the stuff she' s complaining about is HERS. And, i've tried helping her before. Nothing i suggest/do is right. I just can't deal with that right now. And now, I feel guilty because her health hasn't been that great these past couple of years. I know she thinks i'm lazy and get the vibe that she's been sick (including a week in the ICU, no one sure if she'd live for the first few days) and still does all this stuff and yet here I am not doing crap.

I'm thinking about calling the doc's office again Monday to schedule another appointment. I want to ask for a shrink referral and see if there's anything he can give me to help me feel better while I wait.

I'm afraid to call for another appointment because a week hasn't even passed yet. I'm afraid the people at the doc's office will think i'm an idiot or some kind of freak or something. I'm also afraid of them not having any samples.

I'm also kind of worried about the possibility of being bipolar and possibly going back on antidepressants (just the effexor). Isn't that supposed to be a bad mix?

I just don't know what to do and feel so out of it...

since you've already had an appt with the doc, maybe you could just call and ask if they have and would be willing to give you some samples of the meds you need. could save you the expense of the office visit since you dont have insurance. and doc probably wouldn't have a problem with letting you just pick up the samples. then while you are there you could ask about the referal or could also ask about that on the phone as well. i would atleast try, can't hurt.

good luck,
recluse1

Duh! I need to live up to that KISS thing and keep things simple.

I'll give that a try, recluse. For some reason, I don't think they'll do that over the phone, but it won't hurt to give it a go...

Thanks!

Cafegrrrl

Make the call to your doc asap and get that psychiatrist referral. They won't think you are an idiot, just a concerned patient who cares about her well being, as we all do!!!

Take gentle care,
Dee

((((((cafegrrrl)))))) i'm with you. i know how you're feeling. as for being bipolar, don't be afraid. there's help for that, too. i'm not bipolar, though. i have unipolar depression that is treatment-resistant.

you are not lazy. and it's not your fault that you have depression. i'm sorry that your mom doesn't understand the nature of depression or bipolar illness. i hope she will understand someday. believe me, i can hardly clean, do laundry, or even cook. my husband does the laundry and cooking. he tries to help me, which i'm grateful for. and i try to help out as much as i can, but most of the time, my depression just sucks the energy out of me. so, i know how hard it is to do the most simple things in life, which many people take for granted.

do not be afraid to call your doctor's office. you have an absolute right to know. and, no, you're not bugging them. believe me, i feel like i'm bugging my psychiatrist for information a lot, but if i don't do it, i wouldn't hear from him for quite awhile. anyway, when you need relief (or medical attention), you need it. i know peopel say that we're quick-fix oriented. the truth is: the sooner we get treated, the sooner we can improve or recover. of course, we have to be realistic, since they treat plenty of other people as well. so, we have to juggle with other people's needs. but, do not feel guilty when you have a serious need, or even having an emergency and need help right away.

i wish you the best and hope you feel better soon. glad that you're able to find doctors who can help you with your financial situation, so that you can get your medication. plus, we're here for you. anytime.

I know you're probably right, mybest.

I'm still kind of new to this and just worry about the most ridiculous things sometimes.

Yeah, you're right about the doc and the staff having to juggle with other people's needs. That's why i'm worried about calling to ask about samples and referral. They'll have to take extra, unplanned time to look into it for me.

However, I will call and ask. I guess if it's that big of a deal and a problem to find out for me, they'll just schedule me for another appointment.

You're lucky to have someone who understands and supports you.

I'm just really frustrated with my mom. I thought she'd be a little more understanding or something, especially since she's working on a master's in social work. It's not the same as psych, but still.

And, thanks for your response...it's helped a bit

Hello,
'shrink' means psychiatrist? Well, anyway, I really think what you need badly is a therapist. There are just a few luckyones who just get well with meds alone. In all otehr cases, meds are a valid support for psychotherapy (as it happens to me, for instance).

And regarding you mother. Well, just reading your post makes me angry, because my parents too always want to control and patronize me (and I'm 36 DAMMITT!).
Unfortunately, however, parents are given randomly, not chosen, and an instinct to manipulate and bother sons seems to be unavoidable. They are just enemies you CAN'T fight. Actually, you can't even consider them as enemies.
So you'd better try to understand her motivations. Maybe she thinks you're lazy because she's afraid to think you're ill. Maybe she tries to keep you busy to help you. Maybe...
BY the way, how old are you? That makes the picture more clear.

i'm 32, stefano. But living at home again...i think she's afraid or has that whole "can't happen to my kid" type of thinking going on....

I am going to look into a therapist too...just don't know..a lot of the ones around here are tied into my office at work..so i'm very nervous about it...

Yes, correct, it's quite obvious that a parent gets in denial about a son's depressions: it's supposed to be his/her fault.

Over 30 and home again? Me too. That's all too common nowadays. Moreover I also WORK with my parents at the family shop, so therapy is an absolute need if I'm not to slay both
I keed, I keed

OK, keep on searching for a therapist and keep posting here. I have discovered this forum just in the last few months and it is a GREAT help.

oh wow! AND you work with the parents....i couldn't do it!