[wisewoman]

I cleaned my foster daughter's room again today and found a few more of her things and felt such sadness. My son called from the other side of the country tonight and I ached to see him. He is all grown up. Mature and responsible and struggling with love issues. Thinking about coming home. My youngest daughter called a few times today, with HUMOR. I see her this weekend as I am spending it at college with her. I miss my children and I miss children so much. It was yesterday. They were little and we had foster kids and i needed SPACE. We made another room, we bought more beds. And then they grew up and we bought bigger beds and now they are gone and we are giving the beds away. Empty rooms everywhere. I want my children. I want to love on other peoples children who need it! I have some children I care for when I am called to. I love these little people. I can pull it together to read, do puzzles and play board games for 9 hours with a sick kiddo. I want to have more kiddos.

Sadly it is too late for me. And due to disability I am not allowed to foster. I miss my kids, I miss kids. I want my kids home.

[bebop]

hon I kind of went thru that when my kids grew up and moved out. yes I miss them something terrible but I now enjoy the quiet time most of the time. my son lives 13 hrs away so I don't get to see him very often. maybe once a yr. my daughter lives about 35 miles away and don't get to see her as much as I would like either. but I do enjoy it being me and hubby most of the time.

I can't relate because I don't have kids...BUT

I wanted to say I think you are AWESOME for fostering a child. I was a foster kid and the people that finally took care of me were miracles. It really takes a special person to do that.

So, I say thank you for stepping up and helping a child.

[wisewoman]

Riptide you are very sweet for thinking I am special. I am just a selfish woman wanting to nurture as many kids as I can. I am glad you had good foster parents. It makes all of the difference. I also fostered because I had a friend when I was 17 who gave me love and changed my life. She died a few years ago now. I miss her.

bebop, I have a husband who is mostly quite sweet but we have different interests mostly. I think the kids grew up before I knew it and I was busy fighting demons. Work, Ptsd,juggling 6 kids and a job and then 3 kids and a job and me and my daughter's OCD and ///Life happened while I was surviving and they grew up so fast and now that I feel ready for them it's done, over. I did think I would enjoy this time but I mostly don't. I want them home.

[Doh2007]

I hear you hon

[wisewoman]

Thanks

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wisewoman said:
Riptide you are very sweet for thinking I am special. I am just a selfish woman wanting to nurture as many kids as I can. I am glad you had good foster parents. It makes all of the difference. I also fostered because I had a friend when I was 17 who gave me love and changed my life. She died a few years ago now. I miss her.


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Actually, you aren't selfish. I don't know the circumstances of your foster daughter, but in my 11 years in the foster system, I did not meet one kid that was "easy." This is why they get moved from home to home..because the foster parent's give up. It takes alot to hang in there. I had 7 "placements" before my final foster parents and unfortunately, I was not easy, and it took alot for them to keep me.

Anyone that takes a child into their home and tries and those that even do better by helping them grow is AWESOME.

[bebop]

hon for the most part like 99% my hubby and I sit in different rooms. I know how you feel. I do have a question for you. who says because you have a disability that you can no longer foster?

[wisewoman]

To answer you both at once my last child we were supposed to adopt but dcf took her randomly blaming my Lyme and pain as reasons though I had gone swimming with her for three hours each summer day and played with her all of the time. The state will not place another child with me despite an appeal that we lost. I am a liability in their minds though for no reason. So they have my foster daughter in a home which is an old mobile home with a 25 year old. Give me a break. But that is another thread. I can't fight them and I am too poor for an adoption. I could get a home study done and adopt privately but I fail to see the money for that.

The state is sooooo screwed up at times. I can't even begin my rants about them. Sometimes I wonder if they even think about the impact on the child.....?

I'm sorry you lost your daughter. Have you thought of becoming a CASA???? (Court Appointed Special Advocate for Children) Basically, you would be responsible for overseeing and advocating for foster kids in terms of where they should be placed ,etc.
It might be a way to help with the empty nest.... and CASA's are COOL. The kids love them because its a relationship without strings!

[Bethsway]

(((((((((((((((wisewoman))))))))))))))

[thelostone]

i understand your pain, i am almost ashamed to say it but i was glad when my son-in-law left my oldest daughter because she came home with her babies so i have them around all the time, plus i have "adopted" friends of all of my children. i don't know what i would do without "my kids", but i have a never ending stream of kids who i unofficially foster. they have parents of their own who for whatever reason they don't get along with, but they come to me for love and understanding. i have even gotten a few of them to realize that their problems with their parents arent as bad as they thought. then they have extra love and understanding. can you volunteer somewhere for tweens and teens, you would be amazed how much some of these kids need an adult who they can truly trust and talk to, and someone who will just listen and not try to tell them what to do.

last year i had 4 "kids" between 18 and 20 sleeping in every available corner of my house. not counting my 3 daughters and 2 grandkids. now i am down to 2 daughters and 2 grandkids, but the other kids still come to see me weekly or so, and they are my kids. just because they reached a magic age doesn't mean they don't need mothering anymore. hope this helps give you an idea to fill that void.

hugs,
lost

[wisewoman]

Thanks for the love and understanding. I went to my daughter's college and spent the weekend and loved on her. She wanted nothing more then for me to cuddle her. She has been very ill and has a heavy load to carry. I love her so. My son called me today when I needed him most. Thanks again.

[ECHOES]

((( wisewoman )))

I miss my only son who is 1000 miles away. I haven't seen him in 2 years. We talk every few weeks, sometimes more, but it isn't the same. Before he moved he lived with me. What a huge separation.

I wasn't ready to be alone and not needed.

[wisewoman]

I know how that feels. My kids grew up when I was too busy making a living and surviving. I am still needed but alone is hard. My son is about that same distance from me. Nice to have understanding ears, eyes.

I have a solution to the problem......

....I am packing my bags right now...should be there in say an hour?????

((((Wisewoman))))

[wisewoman]

Come on over Riptide. I could use the distraction. Do you like to be nurtured? I can give you some snuggles and see what you like and find it. See, I am ready. You are the next contestant on the home is now...Not empty!

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wisewoman said:
Come on over Riptide. I could use the distraction. Do you like to be nurtured? I can give you some snuggles and see what you like and find it. See, I am ready. You are the next contestant on the home is now...Not empty!

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LOL
Sounds good to me.....and I come with a bonus....I work so I have income. We could easily work out a deal......I regress very easily.

[youOme]

(((wisewoman)))

Have you considered fostering again?

[wisewoman]

Riptide, your room is ready. YouOme, I am not allowed by children's services to foster any longer due to disability and illness. They are full of cow dung. Come on, there is room for you and yours. thanks folks.

[bebop]

ww hon here in ga they allow people to foster that are disabled. I wonder why not there?

Yeah it is terrible. Some of the foster homes I was in growing up were FAR worse than living with someone with a disability. Go figure...they stick us in abusive homes but not in homes where a parent might have a "difference."

Crap.

Man, wisewomen.....if you lived near me, I would be over in a second. I never really got that......
I used to ask T to adopt me