Need Hugs and Help Countering Negative Thought

Blah.. Every evening has been hard now for a week..
its getting frustrating tonight every time i tried to feed him he just screamed and screamed.. I Finally gave up trying and just let him go to sleep..
but I feel so bad when he screams I feel like the worst mom the world.. especially when im trying to feed him it feels like theres something wrong with my milk thats driving him nuts..

Ive been told thats not true though or possible.. its so tempting to try a bottle of formula but I was told NOT to do that unless medically necessary as itll make my supply drop if hes not nursing..

I feel guilty for even having a can of formula in the cupboard even though its only a sample can for emergencies..

I know I DONT want him on formula as there is all kinds of risks and downfals with formula i just wish I wasnt having such a hard time.. it feels like things keep getting thrown at me as reasons to give him formula when I DONT want to do that.. i mean, its been proven a hundred times over that BM is way better and formula causes problems.

My aunt whose a nurse said that almost all babies have this evening fussies between six and eight weeks.. but it still scares me and makes me feel so sad I just hate to see tears in his eyes, it makes me feel awful.

<font color="purple">A hug for you </font>

Fussies are hard. My daughter had fussies 24/7 (colic) until after I had returned to work (5 weeks). Has formula changed in the past 9-12 years? Both my kids were bottle fed and have no problems.

Lotsa luck, I'll send some toothpicks for your peepers

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mybestkids2 said:
Fussies are hard. My daughter had fussies 24/7 (colic) until after I had returned to work (5 weeks). Has formula changed in the past 9-12 years? Both my kids were bottle fed and have no problems.

Lotsa luck, I'll send some toothpicks for your peepers



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Thank you

I dont think its so much that formula is inherently bad.. more like its not as good as breastmilk. I know once upon a time it was thought to be the other way around, that formula was better.

This is the list that I was told is basically what they have discovered in the last few studies/years:

Otitis media (middle ear infection): 3 to 5 times more likely
• Gastroenteritis: 6 times more likely
• Diarrhea
• Respiratory diseases (bronchitis, pneumonia): 2 to 5 times more likely
• Allergies
• Asthma

• Obesity

• Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS): 3 to 5 times more likely
• Lymphomas: 6 to 8 times more likely
• Type-1 Diabetes: 2 to 7 times more likely

• Necrotising enterocolitis: 20 times more likely
• Inflammatory diseases of the intestine (ulcerative colitis, Crohn’s disease): 3 times more likely
• Multiple Sclerosis (MS)
• Breast Cancer in girls
• Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis
• Hodgkin's disease

• Gastro-esophageal reflux disease (GERD)
• Urinary tract infections

• Vision troubles
• Poor development of jaw muscles and malocclusion
• IQ up to 8-10 points lower
• Tooth decay (« bottle caries »)
• Less effective immunisations (vaccines)

• Premature death (in the first year of life): 26.5% increased risk

I know these are pretty small risks but.. you know you just never know.. still scary.

Plus I really cant afford to put him on formula anyways.

(((((((((((((Rainbowzz ))))))))))) I had this trouble when my baby boy was on a feeding schedule. (every 4 hours ) He was very hungry and drank until his stomach was so ful that he regurgitated all his milk the minute I burp him. He was crying all the time

Once I had him on an ''on demand'' feeding he was able to drink when he was hungry and stopped drinking so fast and so avidly.
I hope that this will help both of you . I fed my 2 children until they were one yr old. Good luck
Lily

Eeks, that is some scary stuff. Glad to say my kids have NOT suffered with anything listed.

Anyhoo...know that sleeping time isn't oh so far away, baby Jeremy is just taking his time cuz he wuvs you so!

Thanks lily.

We have been on "demand" for about three weeks now..

but I have noticed too in the last week he nurses for less time when he does, and then seems satisfied sooner... then i wonder if he is still getting enough, but he still has tons of wets and poops... so he must be.

Im also hoping now that he sleeps six hours at night my supply hasnt dropped and its making him angry cause its not flowing fast enough for his liking as I had oversupply before.

I am a worrywart I think

(((((((((((( Rainbowzz )))))))))))))

Well, I don't know much about kids or BM, but I am able to give hugs and send positive thoughts....so consider yourself hugged and know that I am thinking of you. You will make it through this...hang in there.

can do the hugs (((Bowzz))) : )

wishing ((Mom ))) the best ... (((Jeremy)))

Rainbowzz , don't you worry; if he is hungry Jeremy will make you know it. The more you feed him, the more milk you will have . trust yourself on this, it is very seldom that the milk quantity is not adequate.
Lily

awww....((((((((Rainbowzz))))))))

being a worrywart just means you're a good mom who loves your baby very much. all loving moms worry about babies getting enuff food, the right food etc. you're a FANTASTIC mom and Jeremy will be just fine.

(((((rain))))) hearing your child cry is the worst sound in the world. My son went through a period like that, I do not recall exactly what age, but the dr called it a venting period. He'd cry no matter what we did for 20ish minutes. I just rocked him and cried along with him. Luckily that stage didn't last long.

If your concerned about his intake, use a breast pump. But as I recall, they have to work harder to get milk from a bottle than the nipple so they really don't like it.

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mybestkids2 said:
Eeks, that is some scary stuff. Glad to say my kids have NOT suffered with anything listed.

Anyhoo...know that sleeping time isn't oh so far away, baby Jeremy is just taking his time cuz he wuvs you so!

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Yes it is scary, but I think its also worth noting that its not so much the formula that CAUSES these things.. but the lack of breastmilk that increses the risk. Breastmilk protects against these things therefore when you formula feed, you get increased risk. That doesnt mean that formula is inherently dangerous though - just that breastmilk is much better in certain areas.

Awwwwwww All of you guys are WONDERFUL!

Its absolutely great to know I can come here and spill and you guys will give me hugs, love, support, and positive thoughts to counter my anxieties.. Thats really important to me because with my MI's alot of times I have a hard time distinguishing what is a valid worry and what is an irrational worry or one I really needn't worry about.

((((((hugs))))) to everyone that posts in this thread.

sigh... i wish I could email transfer you guys here with me for help lol..

We will make it i just have to remember that this wont last forever.

((((((((Rainbowzz)))))))) you're a great mom, Jeremy is a great baby...and things will settle down soon, it's just hard being a first time mom...but you got lotsa peeps here who really care...you can do it !

Wow....talk about a flashback!! You sound just like me, 2 years ago. I had extreme problems trying to breastfeed my daughter. Every time she rejected me it was so hard.

I did, actually, fall into using formula. My supply was too low and she wasn't growing. Or that's what I thought...now I just know she's just a petite little girl who doesn't grow. (2-1/2 years old and about the size of an average 10-month-old...)

I just want to assure you on both ends - one, yes your milk is good enough and YES you are a good mother and try not to let it get to you. But on the other side...formula is still adequate nutrition and if things are getting too rough, do not let ANYONE guilt you if you choose to supplement a little or even switch entirely. Sometimes Mom's sanity is worth more than breastmilk vs. formula.

I only made it 4 months. I went crazy trying to pump, took all kinds of herbs and drank all that mother's milk tea, tried every device you could think of to make things work. I still failed miserably. The last time I pumped I barely got enough to make the bottles moist.

But you know what? She's still a healthy little girl. I did what I could. Sometimes breatfeeding just doesn't work. Sure, I always like to think that well, back before formula was inveted, every woman could breastfeed, right? Wrong. Look at infant mortality rates.

Anyway...that got a little long...just know that you're not alone, it IS hard.

Also you may want to look into your local LLL (la leche) or check out kellymom.com for some tips.

Also - if money is an issue - do not be embarrassed to apply for WIC. That's what they are there for.

Most offices do have lactation consultants on staff to help with breastfeeding, but of course, you also get free formula if you choose.

Psssst...Rainbowzz

Babies cry - some cry a LOT. If you already give him plenty of love and care, there's nothing wrong in allowing him to develop his lungs.

You could be setting yourself up for trouble later on if you feed him or pick him up EVERY time he cries. He'll only require more and more. Kids are smart...they learn how to manipulate parents at a very early age. You are not his servant, you are his mother. You'll never be able to completely protect him from life. That's not why you had him - you had him to give him a life of his own (eventually).

My son was colicky for his first 3 months. After a certain point, there's nothing you can do. I remember one day discovering I had a nerve somewhere that made me just want to scream right along with him. I tried everything I could to console him, but he kept right on screaming. I made sure he wasn't otherwise sick, he was fed, dry and safe in his bassinet. I calmly walked out of the room, walked onto my balcony - and SCREAMED. It helped - well, at least it helped me maintain my composure.

Good luck with your little songbird.

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KathyM said:
Psssst...Rainbowzz

Babies cry - some cry a LOT. If you already give him plenty of love and care, there's nothing wrong in allowing him to develop his lungs.

You are not his servant, you are his mother. You'll never be able to completely protect him from life. That's not why you had him - you had him to give him a life of his own (eventually).

.

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wow those are words of wisdom!
I remember reading CWG that it`s a NEW SOUL comes into the body feelis LIMMITED that before the soul came into the body it was free and that this is a particular exaplanation for baby`s crying and screaming ....well i am sure that Everything will be fine anyways

good luck with your son Rainbowz,

Rainbowzz...I am thinking of you and hoping things will be better tonight!!!

Well, things arent SO bad tonight. HEs doing the same thing, refusing to eat, since about two hours... but not screaming as much. IVe decided not to push the issue, as he just doesnt seem to want to eat and everytime we try he screams bloody blue murder. I know theres nothing wrong cause he eats really well the rest of the day.

Unfortunately, I have the damn stomach flu and have been running to the bathroom all day. I took some immodium and it helped, and some gravol which helped. If its not gone by tomrorow I intend to go to the hospital (no docs here on weekend) because we have norwalk virus going around town here.

Glad to hear things seem to be a little better for you.

You got some awesome advice. I had to switch to formula myself as my son was allergic to milk products and cried, fussed, and spit up a lot on my milk. Once he started on the formula it was like a new child. He is almost 5 now and really really healthy and happy. (I used WIC myself!)

On the flip side of things, my cousin breastfed all of her kids and one was just allergic to some foods she was eating herself. So she had to limit those foods and then her daughter was fine with feeding again as well.
Just take it one day at a time and know it will get easier as Jeremy gets a little older. Make sure you take care of yourself as well. Many mothers get a bit of postpartum depression that can make everything seem much worse too.
You seem like a great mom with a lot of love for your child. Good Luck and God Bless.