[saudade]

HI.

My dear, dear friend has been seemingly suicidal (seriously looking for ways to do it) and I'd appreciate any advice on how's best to deal with it and maybe help him stay alive.

I love him so much I'm afraid love will blind me and get in the way of knowing the best way to reach out for him. Thank you all in advance, hoping it's not too late right now.

Peace.

[SeptemberMorn]

The best thing I know of is to call the Suicide Hotline, Hun. They'll know just how to deal with him/it. When someone is serious about what they're thinking, not much other than an intervention will work.

Please remember to take care of YOU through this. Stay safe, ok? BTW, I've missed you! How are you doing? Keep us posted, ok?

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Saudie}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

[SweetCrusader]

Ok assessing for suicidality and helping a suicidal person- I'm a psych major, and this is the information a professor/clinical psychologist gave us in class.

Evaluating Suicide Risk:
1. Direct warning: most useful predictor of suicidality. Do not dismiss a direct warning, EVER!
2.Plan. The more specific and detailed, the greater the risk.
3. Past attempts. 80% of people who die of suicide have a history of past attempts.
4. Depression feelings, esp HOPELESSNESS
5. Indirect statements or signs.

Ways to Respond to Suicidality
1. Take this person seriously
2. Acknowledge the depth of their pain, do NOT dismiss it.
3. Indicate that you CARE, offer reassurance and support
4. Tell somebody. Tell everybody. Don't keep it a secret, and don't say you will. All bets are off when it comes to saving someone's life.
5. Encourage professional help. Call a therapist, a suicide hotline (1-800-Suicide), make the initial appointment, get some other form of help.
6. Captalize on ANY doubt they might have. Most people are ambivalent about it it. If they are 50/50 on whether or not they want to live, nudge them to 51% life and 49% death. If they hit 51% death, that's when they'll attempt suicide. If they fear consequences like going to Hell, use that. If they don't want to leave loved ones behind, remind them. Any doubts they might have, drive those doubts home. Their life is at risk, any doubt is fair game here.
7. Ask direct questions about their intent
8. Do not leave them alone, or if you need to, get a no harm agreement.
9. Consider the 5-5-5 Cubelet. There are three dimensions: pain (internal anguish), pressure (external stressors), and press (intensity to do something right now). These dimensions are graded 1-5- If a person hits 5 on all of them, they will die of suicide. The idea is if you can bring them down to a 4 on any dimension, they will not go through with it. How to do this:
-Ask them to wait it out for the night or day or whatever period of time you can get them to
-Help ease their pain by acknowledging it and talking to them supportively
-If you can ease any external stressors, do so

If you cannot get a promise that they will not do it, get HELP now. If a person does promise, they generally won't do it.

I hope this helps!!!

Love and safety to you and your friend,
Angela

[Wants2Fly]

I hope SweetCrusader's message is helpful, Saudade. And I hope you will be able to help your friend manage his pain.

[eskielover]

SweetCrusader's list is great. All you can do is be with him until he gets help & keep him safe. Usually an attempt is not made until they are alone, so don't leave him alone. As long as someone it there it is no use to try because help will be called immediately & there is usually nothing they can do about it.

Try to convince him that life is to be lived & to think about what he might miss if it is gone. Those things are irrelevent to someone who is determined to succeed, but it just might trigger a glimmer of hope.

Just remember, you will not be able to stop him in the long run if he is really determined to succeed, but your support can make a difference if the determination is not completely there..

[saudade]

Yes, Sweet, I am PRO HARM REDUCTION and I appreciate your input so very much; thank you and it sure helps (I've already been trying some of those).

Unfortunately, I cannot be with this person as much as I would like to. I also think me pretentious to imagine that I of all people would be able to help pick him up to see the sun from where he is right now.

Anyway it is soothing to come back here and find your supportive messages and to find people who care.

I'm really thankful for your replies.

SeptemberM, I miss you too.

Love+