What is wrong with me?!

Okay, here's the thing, I'm fine for most of the day, as long as things are going okay, but as soon as anything goes wrong, I'm a total mess! If I was a-ok all day but think I go and do poorly on a test or quiz (reguardless of if I actually do or not, I ususally think I did pretty poorly) I'm all weepy, and a total mess. Or if someone says anything that implies an insult, or iany number of other things. I don't know why I'm like this!! What is wrong with me?!

hi,
i too am the same way and i have to tell myself to stay positive b/c after all i know its not me its the disease. anyways kepp your head up and talk to somebody like a counselor or someone who can help and when i couldn;t control my emotions i was put zoloft and it really helped.
good luck!

Kayleigh:

I went through that cycle for years. My belief at the time was that I must be strong and conquer my emotions. I was also afraid of becoming dependent on any medication. Those ideas were
given to me by my family.

Anyway, that theory didn't work. You have no idea how many years I stoically continued to try it, even after it obviously was not going to meet my needs. It's amazing how stubborn I was at trying to prove something. The thing is, blind stubbornness had served me well in other areas (or so I thought). On reviewing my life, I'm not so sure that it worked in other areas either. LOL

These days I'm not held hostage by my emotions. I can listen to anything and not react with tears. For me, it's very important to remain clearheaded in difficult situations. I'm glad I finally heeded what all those doctors had been saying, that I need to be on antidepressants permanently. Zowie! It works.

Oh...here's a little story to illustrate my point. Several years ago, when exiting a gas station, I inadvertently drove across a flat gravel divider that I simply couldn't see! Too bad. The police car was right there to tell me what I shouldn't have done. To me, the divider was absolutely invisible --- and I made some disparaging commentary about the lighting conditions. I was so upset by getting a ticket for something I didn't consider to be my fault --- that I burst into tears.

Not that it would be any defense, but soon after that incident I saw my ophthalmologist and discovered that I had cataracts, was about legally blind in one eye from that condition, with the other eye almost as bad, and then knew that my own failing vision was to blame for the ticket. That incident impressed me. It was very embarrassing to be unable to control my emotions! Shortly thereafter I asked my doc for an antidepressant.

Nothing's wrong with you, Kayleigh. Sounds like you might have a condition that many of us have --- depression. And it seems you might need help. The weepiness is, I know from personal experience, quite inconvenient.

For short-term help, do you have access to a family doctor who might be willing to prescribe medication? I have an internist as my primary doctor. He prescribes my antidepressants. If you feel you also need psychotherapy, you can ask your primary doctor to refer you to someone. Or, you can try to find free or sliding scale therapy.

Join the club, Kayleigh!

Adieu

Kayleigh,
You sound like me to a tee. I go through the same things that you do. Everything is fine until one thing goes wrong and then forget it everything sucks. It is the depression talking. We tend to walk on a tentative edge as it is that only requires one upset to cause us to fall down. You are not alone (although that might not help). Try to be strong and just pick yourself up as much as possible when it happens.
The only thing that seems to help me is when I keep on going and try to keep as busy as possible. This way I do not think about these things as much.

Take care,
Jessica

Hubby did the same thing. Anything would set him off for the day and the day was a loss. He is on 100mg of Zoloft and is doing great. I know you are worried about what people will do if you seek treatment...but consider what will happen if you don't.

Put yourself first, you can do it.