Who's in charge?

We all have strengths. There are parts to us that control our lives. What is in charge of you? Maybe it is spirituality. Perhaps this is a challenging time for you and mental illness is in charge of you right now. Or something else? What controls your thoughts, your decisions, your life?

Speaking for myself, I don't feel that I am in charge of myself as a whole. Rather, the PTSD has a higher control at the moment, but I am regaining.

I suppose this isn't a great question or well-phrased for my intention, but it's something I have been pondering. We are each responsible for our own behaviors, but how we choose those behaviors depends on who--or what--is in charge.

Yup... depression is in charge, at the moment, as well as anxiety I guess.

Hmmmmm makes you think
Angie

despair / hopelessness is in charge.. it paralyzes me...

I find that if I reject the heirarchic model of determinant characteristics and cultivate in its place an idea of equal and peaceful coexistence, I gain a greater awareness of a core self, if you will, which seems able to observe all the characteristics with compassionate dispassion. When I move to subdue any one characteristic, I inflame many more. They all demand to be there, they don't seem to need to be in charge, but each one minds very much when another is in charge.

I hope that doesn't all just seem obtuse, these are abstract kinds of impressions though, aren't they? I like the question you pose and find it enourmously valuable to consider these things. Thanks for posting it.

The older I get, he more I think we are in charge of what happens to us. This is not to say there aren't things beyond our control, such as being affected by the actions of others. To me anyway, I just don't see it as very productive to believe there's some power beyond our control which is responsible for the good and bad that happens to us and in the world. That's not the same as saying there can't be a God.

This is not easy for multiple, usaually Angie is in charge unless the bi-polar kicks in then it takes charge, if an alter is out their in charge of the body at that time, am i making any sense?
Angie

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
This is not easy for multiple, usaually Angie is in charge unless the bi-polar kicks in then it takes charge, if an alter is out their in charge of the body at that time, am i making any sense?
Angie

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">
Yes, that makes sense.

Angie, Yes it makes a lot of sense to me.
It is a very hard question.

I guess if I were going to pick what has controlled my thoughts, actions, and decisions the most in my life...I would have to say survival instincts.

WOW! That was great, Sqrl... but do you think, maybe you could explain it with simpler words? I'm sure most of us understand what you said, but someone in a really bad place may not be able to take the time to understand it.

thank you september!! i have NO idea what he said lol i got a headache from trying hehehee...

LOL, I'll try. Sorry for the oblique nature of sqrl mind.

When I consider an idea of some part of me being in charge, so to speak, I find that idea not to work very well for me. There doesn't seem to be a "best" part, but an inter related whole in which all the parts are inter dependent. By surveying what can be the chaotic mess inside when one part seems to be leading the whole astray, I develop a sense of myself beyond the strife. So I find myself considering the opposite feeling of a troubling one, and seeking out connection to it, as a way of balancing.

Maybe it's an odd approach growing out of life bipolar. I can no more trust my manic mind than my depressed mind. And in between those states, everything else is still an opposite expression of yet another.

I'm not getting a feeling that I'm actually illuminating my idea. Gack.

owwwww my head lol... sorry... I'm sure people with english for a first language understand u well i think for me it wasn't so much the words, but the very complicated sentence structure youre obviously too well educated

lately my depression has taken over from the anxiety.....anxiety was in charge for a long time.....now that the meds might be working, the depression isn't sitting on my chest when i wake up every morning........i'm very cautious about the new meds.....when anxiety was in charge, i was useless to the point of wanting to hide from everyone.....the psychiatrist is beating me over the head about it being an illness.......

I got it sqrl and I think that it's pretty characteristic of bipolar disorder. To me, it seems that the worse my manic state gets, the harder I'm bound to fall. I do my best to NOT feed either state of mind or to even struggle with it, but more or less let it run it's course and minimize the ride when my mind decides to flip. Sorry, swrl, if I'm straling your glory from your post in the BP forum, you just put into words what I couldn't. To answer your question (one which I find interesting btw), right now I'm struggling to learn how to ride out my illness... to learn to live with it. Sometimes I do very well, and others I crash and burn hard. I'd have to say that for now, the roller coaster is still in charge.

For me my Bi-Polar is in charge. Whatever end of the spectrum I'm at is the one that is currently in charge, right now it's the abyss. Not a good place to be and not a good mindset to have control but that's where I'm at. I think my sig says it all for me right now.