[anna342]

I'm sorry if this should go elsewhere, I'm just not sure where.

I mentioned this in the other post thunderbear made about anger, but I would really like some input on what's going on with me.

In the past 10 days or so there has been a dramatic change in the way I'm thinking and feeling about other people and situations occuring around me. My mind has a comment about everything, from just when I'm in a shop and someone is walking slowly infront of me and the thought will be 'Does this person want to p*** me off' to anything like when one of my colleagues does not say thank you or please to me and in my head there is thoughts of, well shouting of, 'Put them in their place, they have no right to speak to anyone like that, what makes them special that they can get away with being so rude'.

I know these are just thoughts, and it's normal, but it doesn't seem so normal to me, when I've never been like this. More likely than not I'm normally so focused on just getting away from people or keeping quiet that I couldn't care what they say or do to me.

I have come off effexor and I did temporarily start remeron, but I've quit that too, I guess that could have an effect. But the only time when I was off meds before, was 2 years ago and I was not like this then.

I'm even getting angry at my family, they only have to say a couple of sentences and I'll start having thoughts of telling them to shut up because I don't care.

It's making me hate myself more. I'm not an angry person, I don't like anger and I can't deal with it other than s/h to take the anger out on myself.

So really what I'd like to ask is, just opinions on what you guys think is going on, where I should go from here, any ideas to help me?

I do have a social worker I talk to (but no therapy, long story), but I'm sort of not really seeing him at the moment, same with my psychiatrist.

Thank you for reading!

(((anna))))) are you maybe fustrated. Sometimes I think i am angry but when i sit down and really think about I am fustrated about something. Sometimes its egdyness.
It also could be coming off the meds doing it too
For me if I take a few minutes out and really think about whats going inside of me I reliaze whats going on. Sometimes it take more than a few.
I understand you not liking that feeling as I do not like it when it happens to me.
I have been worryed about my son joining marines. And the virus being in the county he goes to school.
which today put me on edge. getting in touch with feelings at times can be hard.
or knowing what we are feeling and why.
I hope all works out for you.........
(((((((anna))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

[anna342]

Thanks muffy.

I'm trying to think what I could be frustrated about, but I really don't know. People just seem to make me angry for no reason, well it's not even just people, objects make me angry if they are in the wrong place or don't look nice, I feel like they have become like that because they hate me. Yes, a lifeless object hating me, now that makes sense

[Christina86]

Hey anna...

If it's any consolation or probability that we're suffering from the same thing ... I'd partly blame the meds. I'm on Effexor at the moment and am in withdrawal mode since my pdoc wanted to lower it.

Man oh man, I've never been so cranky ... at least in a long time.

Sometimes we just get angry or frustrated and we're not sure of the reasons... it is pretty normal. Some people are more angry than others. Some express it differently as well. How do you normally act when you're angry or frustrated?

Sometimes being depressed is exhibited by being angry too. Some people think that depression is all about feeling sad or "blah" or not feeling emotion at all... not entirely true! Some people just get a bit more angry.

If it's bothering you, I'd really go back and talk to your social worker. Any particular reason why you're not talking to him or your psychiatrist at the moment??

Sometimes we just need to take more time for ourselves. Learn to "deep breathe" and to relax. I've heard some people use yoga, or go for a walk.

If you're really angry though - do express it!! Bottling it up is a bad idea.

[anna342]

Thanks Christina.

Sometimes I wish I could express my anger, but sometimes its really best kept away from here. I would end up hurting people's feelings and starting arguements. To be honest chat here does create a lot of anger in me, but I wouldn't want to leave it because there are also a lot of people who are friends and I don't want to leave.

My only ways of coping with anger is to take it out on myself, to self harm. I don't know any other way. It's somehow been drilled into me that everything concieved as bad in my mind needs a punishment of myself, so that's what I do. This has also increased recently, no suprize there.

I'm not 100% sure why i'm not really seeing my SW or psych right now. I think I made a decision, loosely based around the fact I figured there was no point, and then I've just kind of stuck to it without a thought. I think I'm tired of talking when it doesn't get me anywhere, I'm fed up of constant appointments where I try and figure out how I'm feeling, I just don't want to talk to them anymore.

[babydaddy]

Anna, I actually agree with Christina that anger is often a side effect or symptom of depression. I've dealt with extreme anger in association with depression. One thing that helped me deal with the day to day symptoms was karate. I'm not saying you need to run out and join a class per se, but if there's a gym you go to that has a heavy bag, punching the heck out of it until your arms are too heavy to swing is actually very helpful (and good for fitness incidentally). I've also chopped wood or just spent time throwing stones out into a lake. I realize these are probably all 'manly' sorts of things, but venting in this way can be helpful with the day to anger and take some of the edge off.

Going a completely different way - I had stopped playing music (the guitar) for a long time because I felt so lousy. But when I made myself play it again, I found it to be soothing and pacifying as well. I just had to press through my initial desire to do nothing to get into the zone. Lying in bed listening to music and occasionally screaming into a pillow isn't bad either. Maybe it sounds strange, but it all helps cool off the anger.

[anna342]

Thanks for your ideas, I will certainly bear them in mind for when I have moved and settled into my new place and finally have a chance to stuff for me.

[Catherine2]

Such good advice for everyone...I hope it helps.

Jme, but when I was finally able to stop keeping my feelings inside, my anger frightened me. Anger, as with many emotions, was not acceptable in my family when I was growing up.
However, rage erupting was a fairly constant thing.

It was necessary for me to learn how to handle my anger in constructive ways. Hard at first because it was foreign to me that anger did not equal Something Bad; it was just a feeling and I needed to learn appropriate ways of handling it.

Catherine

[pegasus]

((((( anna )))))

First of all, don't beat yourself up for feeling angry as that will make you feel more angry and you'll start turning it on yourself which then makes the depression worse. Try to allow the anger out in a safe way. If you bottle it up, eventually the cap of the bottle comes off when you don't want it too.

Some people find writing it out or drawing/painting can help, others prefer a more physical approach like going for long walks, punching a pillow or flinging a wet cloth around! Any of these things will help and are not destructive.

It would be good to work out where your anger really stems from, then you can understand it, once we understand then it's easier to deal with. Would be good for you to talk this through with a mental health professional, and of course we are here for you here also.

[musikcrazy]

I have a lot of issues with anger. Sometimes it is hard to know when it is BPD and when it is just me. It is explosive and happens so fast that I cannot control what I say or do. It scares me. I recently told my pdoc about it and he upped my lamictal. So far I am still having these 'rages', but I am trying to breathe deeply when I start to get frustrated.
Hang in there and make sure that you are getting the help that you need. The meds rollercoaster is not a fun place to be. Take care!!!!

[nightbird]

((((anna))))

Feel better soon ~ what wonderful posts you received on the issue!

Hope you get some good rest and recuperation meanwhile...
Peace and Support,
Night
xoxoxo