currently going through a phase where i'm sort of starving myself.

at the time I had this idea that to help with my overeating, I could set certains days for certain foods- like today i'll only eat sausages, next day i'll only eat chicken- at the time it seemed a good idea.

but I now realise that actually, that was a bad move. I now won't eat anything that's not that pasiffic item, and I find myself really ill round about mid day, because of what i'm doing

need to get back on track..

not the greatest start to the week.

for some reason, yesterday I couldn't eat anything despite my best efferts, and by the evening I felt as if I needed to eat something, but when I thought of having something I just felt sick.

today was the total opposite. I had healthy strawberries for breakfast, and then for the rest of the day I ate chocolate, 1 bag of potato chips and some candy, (and I've not even had dinner yet).

I guess i'm longing for 1 of those normal days to hurry up and show themselves

[KQiao]

Originally Posted by shattered sanity

not the greatest start to the week.

for some reason, yesterday I couldn't eat anything despite my best efferts, and by the evening I felt as if I needed to eat something, but when I thought of having something I just felt sick.

today was the total opposite. I had healthy strawberries for breakfast, and then for the rest of the day I ate chocolate, 1 bag of potato chips and some candy, (and I've not even had dinner yet).

I guess i'm longing for 1 of those normal days to hurry up and show themselves

When you don't eat things that your body needs to function your blood sugar levels get out of whack. If you were craving candy after a couple of days of not eating right, then your blood sugar levels were probably low and your body needed sugar to level. When you eat a diet of sugar, then you start craving salt to balance out the sugar, which is where the chip craving comes in. I ate a crap ton of chocolate over the holiday because my job had the brilliant idea of hosting a dessert potluck. I ate way too much chocolate and had to balance that with chips. Real food is your best bet if you can manage it when you get to that state. Specifically you want to go with proteins and healthy sugars, but since you hadn't eaten a solid meal in a while you want to make your meals light. The strawberries were fine, but in the future you might add like a piece of toast and a boiled egg to help stabilize and then slowly work your way up to more balanced meals. You can eat healthy without starving yourself, and you'll do less damage to your system if you do that.

i kinda binged last weekend & the beginning of this week. been trying to ease back into restricting, and it's going well so far. i mainly drink black coffee & lots of water, haven't touched my diet soda in a couple days, cutting my intake slowly. weighed myself today - 279. so glad i didn't gain from the binge, i was afraid i'd be 280 again, or even 281. i have to be more cautious from now on. i think i can be in the 260's by xmas. that excites me. i haven't been in the 260's since... gosh, i don't know when. probably middle school? & i'm turning 19 in 3 days, so... yeah, quite a long time between my middle school years & now.

i ate a small bowl of chili for dinner, that was 4 hours ago. debating whether to get a small snack. i have baby carrots in the fridge & saltines in the cabinet. i don't really want any more calories, but i'm going with my parents to a mall out of town tomorrow, and might even be getting my nose pierced, so i'll need some fuel. i can't be walking around in a daze and feeling faint. can't tell if it's craving or genuine need for food. my stomach feels empty again, and i'm not wanting anything specific. might just chew my gum.

[ScientiaOmnisEst]

I had two wonderful days and have been quasi-binging for the last two. I can at least say it's almost definitely emotional in origin: when I'm calm I generally don't crave food. It's mainly when I'm anxious and sad that I desperately want something to take it away. Heck, that's what broke my streak.

ended up not eating the snack last night, so glad i didn't because the shopping/nose piercing plans fell through (as i suspected they would).

got on the scale this afternoon and was delighted to see that i am 278 - another pound lost!

then i realized i am 20 lbs lighter now than i was this time last year. joy!!!

i feel like something in me has 'clicked', and i am on a roll. i'm watching my eating more closely, not craving bad things nearly as much. i didn't eat today until almost 4. had a small piece of steak. my dad picked me up a bag of chips at the store. chips are my weakness. i kinda wish he hadn't done that, but at the same time i'm glad, because the reality is that i can't hide from chips forever. so i'm going to look at this as an exercise in self-restraint. anyway, i had a small handful of chips with my small piece of steak (a little under 1 serving). and that's all i'm going to eat today.

there's no elation quite like watching the number on the scale go down.

[Standup2me]

I have a funny story. I sleep-eat walk. Last night I sleepwalked down to the kitchen and was gobbling down leftover candy. BF tried to take them away from me and I pulled the bag so hard it ripped and there were candies everywhere.
4am and we're picking up candy

[ScientiaOmnisEst]

Okay, this mini-binging has to stop. It feels like I can't stop eating/snacking even though I'm not hungry.

I mean, I don't binge-eat for real. I'm more of a compulsive eater/grazer/snacker. It's something to do and even when I have something else to do, if I'm not fully involved and fascinated I keep thinking about food. It makes me feel utterly disgusting.

not a bad week in terms of food.

actually stuck to a set meal most days with maybe 1/ 2 snacks in between.

binged a couple weeks ago, shot back up to 280, now back down at 277.5 (this is an estimate, my scale is old and not entirely accurate). look forward to losing more weight

[gracebuttercup]

Got a phone call letting me know I would excluded from family christmasbthis year per my mother's very selfish desire to have my brothers widow to herself. Widow will be traveling cross country for the family gathering that I am excluded from. I live 4 hours away. I will be all alone for Christmas while they gather together to celebrate family love. So when I found out about their plans I went out and bought a jar of PB2 and 3 apples. Ni ate it all with many tablespoons of toasted sesame oil mixed in. Today it will be wine spritzer so. I am not even a drinker

some of my clothes are fitting better. a pair of pajama pants that once were too tight now fit comfortably, though snug. which i'm glad about, because they're fuzzy and warm, and it's getting cold.

my mom also says i look a bit smaller, nothing drastic, just that she noticed.

[Standup2me]

Originally Posted by gracebuttercup

Got a phone call letting me know I would excluded from family christmasbthis year per my mother's very selfish desire to have my brothers widow to herself. Widow will be traveling cross country for the family gathering that I am excluded from. I live 4 hours away. I will be all alone for Christmas while they gather together to celebrate family love. So when I found out about their plans I went out and bought a jar of PB2 and 3 apples. Ni ate it all with many tablespoons of toasted sesame oil mixed in. Today it will be wine spritzer so. I am not even a drinker

How are you going to care for yourself at Christmas?
Are you going to cook yourself something you love?
Volunteer at the church or shelter?
What is your self care plan?

hello how is everyone doing?

a while since anyone posted to this thread
right now i'm at a place where i'm struggling to eat, naturally making it harder for me to binge (a good thing, of course!) but also making it harder for me to get the daily amount of food that i need

think a lot of it has to do with anxiety and stress- life's not great right now. at all

dawned on me this morning thag that during the whole of last week, i only had 1 takeout meal.

that's really good for me, seeing as i usually have 3 or 4

[waggiedog]

Hi everyone and I hope you're not struggling too much. I'm not so good really, abusing the laxatives big time and really suffering for it. They are now beginning to make me feel very sick and I eventually vomit, but then I also spend the evening in the loo (WC) and this is all with very little food in my system.
I totally KNOW that lax's DON'T make you loose weight BUT, what I think they may do for me is allow me to stay at the same weight without gaining ~~ who knows. I absolutely dread to think what all of this has done, and IS doing to my body. I'm no spring chicken anymore, I've had over 30 years of various ED's, I'm 57 on 13th December. I do wonder if this will be the way I go to my grave, a lifetime of ED's, inpatient in Psych hospital and Dr's Psych Dr's.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

i'm having a good week with food.

regular breakfast, and a regular dinner.
snack wise i have my sweets at night- and i had some potato chips on monday. (so not to bad overall)

i was going to 'start over' on dec 1st and see how many pounds i can lose by christmas, but then yesterday i ate too many chips. therefore, today is day 1 of xmas challenge. back to counting calories & carbs, wish me luck.

for the rest of this week, i've eaten extremely unhealthily (not binged, but i guess it's just as bad)

on wednesday evening i had KFC, yesterday i had mcdonalds, and tonight i'm having fish and chips

that's 3 takeouts in 1 week on consecutive nights

ooo not good..

[ScientiaOmnisEst]

So I'm trying to do a three-day fast as punishment/hard reset/desperate attempt at self-control and I made a thread about it elsewhere. Someone then PM'ed me asking to be diet/workout buddies, accountability partners seeing as we both have unhealthy habits. I don't know what to say. I kind of want to say yes, but my inner socially-awkward recluse is terrified at the prospect.

perhaps it's no surprise, but being the time of year i've been buying all the christmas goodies and stuffing myself silly.

christmas eve i ate a lot of pizza and a lot of chocolate,

today i had a christmas turkey, more chocolate, some jelly beans and jelly tots

not good at all

waaaaay bingeing over the holiday.

i have to start being more strict with myself in the new year.

Originally Posted by ennui.

waaaaay bingeing over the holiday.

i have to start being more strict with myself in the new year.

me too

though if i will or not..

their gone.... the jelly beans are gone

and that's no exageration... i feel really bad for eating them all in 1 day (and not just eating them all, but 4 or 5 at a time). shoveling them in to my mouth

and i've just ordered a pizza

stuffed but at the same time i need the pizza...

Originally Posted by shattered sanity

me too

though if i will or not..

honestly, the only reason i'm even trying is because right now i am obese, and i'm sick of it. i'm basically shutting myself in my parents house until i lose the weight. if i don't lose enough weight by spring i will be spending another year inside not going out because of embarrassment and not having a life/job/education/friends/boyfriend. and i don't think that i would live another year like that. so that's the fire lit under my @$$ right now.

i've lost 30 pounds already, but it's not enough. just barely a dent. (sigh)