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#1
Apr 08, 2006, 05:19 AM
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I wanna run away... Can't take it anymore. I'm down, way down and yet I have to hear the horrible words, the screaming....
I feel like a terrible mother!!! I just wanna cry, cry, cry... My ears in torment! Brain is spinning around in my head. I love my son! But it's way to much now with his Asperger... His sister is screaming- a sound going through bone and marrow. I'm such a loser! Can't even take care of my own kids anymore. I've had it! I just want SILENCE! "I want to take you to a country in war- so that you were to be killed." My son's words a little while ago. |
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#2
Apr 08, 2006, 05:57 AM
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Oh Nina - I am so sorry you are going through this. I have no experience with Aspergers. Please know that you are doing the very best that you can. That you are exhausted and weary but that you love your children beyond all else and that you will never harm them. You are not a loser hun.
Is it possible your husband (if he is home) can take the kids for a bit? Is there anyone else that could take them for a bit? Just so that you could get a bit of the quiet you so need right now. Please try and stay calm - don't acknowledge the things your dear son is saying. Breath my friend.
__________________
 Crying isn't a sign of weakness. It's a sign of having tried too hard to be strong for too long. |
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#3
Apr 08, 2006, 08:51 AM
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nina.....you are a good mother and you will get through this..when things get out of control....try to take a few minutes alone and regroup......i remember times when my son was young...the one with tourette's....and i thought i could not go on another day....what i had to do was think of wht HE was going through and it was always worse for him than me.....take care sweetie and keep venting here.it will help
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#4
Apr 10, 2006, 09:46 PM
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I'm so sorry this is happening. I know it is so hard to hear that from your child. This will sound lame, but please don't take what your son says personally. He is lashing out because he is angry and frustrated and wants you to fix it.. but you can't and so he is frustrated.
That doesn't mean you have to accept that behavior from him - you just cannot take it personally. You must challenge his behavior and help him choose more acceptable outlets for his frustration. Every special needs kid is unique - as you already know. Working with a specialist who is familiar with aspergers can help you work more effectively with him. Don't despair - you are simply tired and burned out at this moment, which doesn't make you a bad parent. You are a great parent !! Please get hooked up with a professional who has experience with aspbergers - this is tough to go this alone, as you know. Best of luck. |
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#5
Apr 10, 2006, 09:53 PM
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I am sorry you are having such a difficult time.
Is your son at a level where he understands feelings and can understand how those comments hurt you. Sometimes children with Asperger's have a difficult time with feelings and emotions and must be taught how words can hurt. Sorry for the pain it caused Take care. |
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#6
Apr 14, 2006, 10:49 AM
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Nina,
You are having a trying time and I understand the feeling of wanting to just run away for awhile. Motherhood at its most perfect times is still a challenge, at its most trying times it feels like your heart will break and you will never recover from the hurt. When we are wounded it is hard to keep taking steps forward. Yet, we do. You are a survivor or you would not have been able to keep going to this point, don't forget that. Sometimes the best we can do is to just carve out a few minutes for ourselves until we can get a real breather. Just a few minutes can help us make it through and if that means locking ourselves in the bathroom and having a good cry or closing the door to the bedroom and putting on the headphones while you listen to some music you love that soothes your soul, then claim it for yourself. Some days, little moments we steal from the day can be all that keeps us sane. Another idea might be to keep a journal and use it to release all the frustration, pain and hurt into. Filling the pages can be a very good release. I know these are temporary solutions, but maybe they will help while you try to think of other avenues. All my best, duckydandy
__________________
“Any path is only a path, and there is no affront, to oneself and to others in dropping it if that is what your heart tells you… look at every path closely and deliberately. Try it as many times as you think necessary. Then ask yourself and yourself alone, one question… Does this path have a heart? If it does, the path is good, if it doesn’t it is of no use.” -Carlos Catenada, The Teachings of Don Juan |
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#7
Apr 15, 2006, 05:27 AM
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Thanks all of you for your support! It's much appreciated!
(((((((((((((((You all))))))))))))) |
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#8
Apr 15, 2006, 10:21 AM
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take care you are wonderfull mum
__________________
 No kind action ever stops with itself. One kind action leads to another. Good example is followed. A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees. The greatest work that kindness does to others is that it makes them kind themselves.
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#9
Apr 15, 2006, 11:37 AM
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Thank you Katheryn, so are you!!!!!
((((((((Katheryn)))))))) 
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#10
Apr 19, 2006, 05:01 AM
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Your son loves you heaps Nina. He might say horrible stuff, but he really loves you.
How could he not? You're such a gem! Love Estee |
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#11
Apr 19, 2006, 06:17 AM
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 Thank you, my so sweet friend!!!!!! |
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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