Dealing with Alzheimer's Disease and Dementia

Hi, I'm 16 and my grandmother has Alzheimer's Disease and Dementia. She's had it for about 5-6 years now and she's been through alot. None of my friends know exactly what I'm going through. Before her illness her and I were really close since we lived a block away. And she has a pacemaker now, and in 2003 I moved up to her house with my mom and dad to help her since she could no longer feed herself, change herself, or do anything for herself. And we took care of her for 2 years and she would wake up during the night and it was just too much to handle. We sent her to a nearby nursing home for Alzheimer's patients and she then had many close calls with being sent to the hospital within 1 month in being there. Then 2 months ago, she broke her hip. And this past friday, she had 2 seizures and she's still in the hospital. This is a really close call, and she hasn't been alert since before the incident. Anyone dealing with any of the same problems? It's so hard to go though.

((( littlemissjess )))

I'm so sorry. You have a lot to deal with right now, it must be so hard.

Do you have a therapist or a school counselor you can talk to?

Keep posting here. Sometimes just having someone listen can be a big help.

Take care,

Petunia

Petunia,

Thank you so much. I have school counselor and I haven't seen a therapist about it. In my school we change counselors every year so it's someone new every year and I don't even know my counselor. I talk to my mom sometimes on how it bothers me about my grandmother but she says she's going through the same thing. But I seem to get more upset about little things and I get upset easily so I think it may be harder on me than my mom. My mom doesn't seem to talk to me about it unless I mention it but even then we don't have "talks" about it.

But thank you so much Petunia!

I totally understand having no one to talk to about it.

When I was a little girl, my father died. It was a shock and very heartbreaking to me and affected my entire life up to this very day.

My family did not show emotion, it was to be dealt with privately and you put your best foot forward.

Every time I brought it up to my mother, I could see the upset on her face and she'd get really anxious because she wasn't sure what to say.

So I grieved privately, crying into my pillow at night. It IS NOT a good thing to do.

What you are going through right now is grief. You are grieving the loss of your grandmother as she was before her illness among other things.

Please, if you can't talk to your counselor or to a friend, please come here and write about how you're feeling.

Don't hold it in, it will not serve you well.

Thinking of you,

Petunia

I have a boyfriend of 4 months now.
And I try talking to him.
But he can't really relate to the whole situation.
It seem since we put her in the nursing home,
That everything with her has become worse.
If I say "Hi Nana!" or say her name or atleast try to get her attention, she doesn't respond.
That was before her seizures though.
Her days and nights were always mixed, she'd always sleep during the day and awake at night.
My mom took care of her mostly but once a week I would take my moms job to take care of her like shower, clothing change, dinner, desert, and keep her occupied.
It's like taking care of a child.
But now my grandmother doesn't respond to anything, and when she looks at me she doesn't know who I am anymore.
It's just so hard seeing how things were less than a year ago.
And then thinking about how it was before all this started.
When I lost my dad's mother, 3 years ago, it was my first actual death that meant something to me.
And then the sad thing is, we never speak of her dying.
Or, when the date comes around that she died, no one mentions anything.
It seems like my family is trying to avoid the painful things.
But it just hurts me even more because I feel they don't care.

Thank you for everything Petunia!

i'm so sorry that you're going through so much pain right now. i counsel geriatric patients and i see what you're dealing with on a weekly/daily basis.

i want to commend you for being there for your grandmother. i see a lot of patients that never have any company and even if they don't recognize you, a warm touch and a kiss on the cheek is felt. feeling is always there....even if you just sit by her bed and hold her hand or stroke her hair, that is comforting to the patient.

please go online and find a support group for yourself. you'll find people who are experiencing what you are feeling and discussing it with them will really help you. google alzheimers support groups......let me know how that goes for you.....

if i can help you in any way, please PM me.....xoxoxo pat

Awwww...sweatpea...you sure have a lot to deal with right now.

I just lost a dear auntie in November who was also suffering from dementia. It is soooooooo difficult seeing this person you love so dearly right in front of you, but knowing in their minds, they are not there with you. It's heartbreaking for sure.

I'm sure you beloved grandmother wants you to remember her as she was before she became ill. Maybe you can spend some time writing a memory book and bring it in to read to her when you visit. I used to sit with auntie and talk about the past and how much fun we had together. I'm hoping it got through to her at some level. Maybe it didn't, but it helped me to talk to her like nothing was wrong and it lifted my spirits and made it easier to deal with.

You and your family are in my prayers. Gentle hugs and good wishes sent your way.

Take good care of yourself!

Hugsssss
Jean

i think that more gets through to the patient than we know. i see it, especially, with one patient. i said something to her the other day and she hit me on the butt and laughed......i almost fell over.

just being there for her is what is so important. and remembering, like sabau2 said......the good times. xoxoxo pat

I wanted to thank you guys for everything you've said to me, it's really been a part of what kept my head up during this time.

I went to visit her today, and she's better. She's alert, and is starting to eat. She's thin as a twig but hopefully eating more will change that. I took all of your advice and said things she used to say to me when she would feed me as a baby such as " ALLLLLLLLLLLLL GONEEEEE!" and I'd compliment her and I made her laugh. Surprisingly, I was able to make her eat and talk more than her own daughter could! I got her to say " love you". So, she's improving.

I just really wanted to thank all of you for all of your support during this hard time!

your grandmother is a very lucky lady, indeed!!!!!!!!! way to go!!!! love, pat