[Claire2015]

Does BPD go away? Reason i ask is because it seems like BPD can be a selfinflicted condition where you experienced something that made you feel a certain way numerous times to the point it done some damage. I wonder is it possible to reverse BPD somehow or is there a natural cure for it?

Claire

[WifeofBPD]

I have read that as the person ages the symptoms become less severe. I didn't know my husbands in his younger years, but from the stories I've heard and his bad days I have seen, I'd wager there might be some truth in that.

[laydonka]

i hope so!

[Claire2015]

Originally Posted by WifeofBPD

I have read that as the person ages the symptoms become less severe. I didn't know my husbands in his younger years, but from the stories I've heard and his bad days I have seen, I'd wager there might be some truth in that.

Thank you for answering my question that is pretty cool then it dissipates as time goes on so in a way the mind might actually rewire itself. Hopefully he will rewire his brain to not suffer from it anymore.

Thank you again i really appreciate it

Claire

[Claire2015]

Originally Posted by laydonka

i hope so!

I'm guessing it's draining to have hopefully it does

Thanks

Claire

[laydonka]

My husband has it and yes it's draining for us both

Sent from my LG-D855 using Tapatalk

[Claire2015]

Originally Posted by laydonka

My husband has it and yes it's draining for us both

Sent from my LG-D855 using Tapatalk

Hats off to you i hope you don't burn out, must be tough

Claire

[WibblyWobbly]

I've read posts by people who said after treatment (DBT) they were no longer diagnosed BPD, but just had traits.

[Tauren]

It often mellows out with age.

Yeah, it always seems partly self-inflicted. The disorder causes people to make bad choices, and then respond badly to the fallout from those choices. People can learn over time to make better choices and to step back from emotions. Also, people with BPD have been shown to be very poor at recognizing facial expressions, so maybe that is something they also get better at over time.

[Claire2015]

Originally Posted by WibblyWobbly

I've read posts by people who said after treatment (DBT) they were no longer diagnosed BPD, but just had traits.

Thank you for sharing that, are you saying that some people can overcome it or may of been misdiagnosed? It sounds amazing to be able to rewire your brain to not require treatment anymore.

Thank you again

Claire

[Claire2015]

Originally Posted by Tauren

It often mellows out with age.

Yeah, it always seems partly self-inflicted. The disorder causes people to make bad choices, and then respond badly to the fallout from those choices. People can learn over time to make better choices and to step back from emotions. Also, people with BPD have been shown to be very poor at recognizing facial expressions, so maybe that is something they also get better at over time.

Thank you so much for responding i agree it seems like the choices BPD people make will only go down well if it has a positive response. If it has negative feedback thats when things seem to get out of hand. Interesting i never knew that they are very poor with facial expressions, if someone with BPD looks you in the face do you think they subconsciously know what it means but just ignores their instincts or is it simply they can't decipher them?

Thank you again

Claire

[Tauren]

I don't think it's well-understood, but my *opinion* is that they really can't decipher them. I know from experience that they always BELIEVE they are very sensitive to what other people are feeling, but they are always just projecting what they feel, or what they expect other people to feel. I know that brain scans show the part of their brain that deals with empathy is not very active.

[Lyndora72946]

Hello Claire,

I was diagnosed with BPD when I was 20 after extreme self harming behavior was discovered.

7 years later (with no treatment), another traumatic event happened to me which triggered a major depressive episode, which I am currently in now.

Meeting with doctor and therapist, I discovered that I didn't have BPD, but ADD.

Once I realized that I was actually suffering from ADD, it all made sense.

ADD and BPD are so similar that most of the symptoms overlap. Please research on the website below:

bpddemystified.com

I think it's important to note because individuals with BPD are often told there are no medications to treat them. There is for ADD, obviously.

When I tried the ADD medications it did help me. This has all been very recent, so I can't give you a lot of information on "getting better". One way you can find out if its one or the other: If the Adderall or other stimulant medication seems like its not effecting you, then you probably have ADD. If you get buzzed or hyper on it, it means you don't have ADD.

I have other issues as well, and the BPD/ADD was just one part of it.

Hope this helps,

Lyndi

[WifeofBPD]

Originally Posted by Tauren

I don't think it's well-understood, but my *opinion* is that they really can't decipher them. I know from experience that they always BELIEVE they are very sensitive to what other people are feeling, but they are always just projecting what they feel, or what they expect other people to feel. I know that brain scans show the part of their brain that deals with empathy is not very active.

I agree with this! One thing I have noticed about my husband is that when he is always quick to say that I am angry over issues that arise. I am an emotional person and wear my emotions on my sleeve, but I rarely get angry. Frustrated, yes. Annoyed, yes. But I don't hit angry or pissed off very often. He is quicker to anger and always seems to project those emotions on to me. Either that or its how he was conditioned by his mother growing up (she is quick to anger too..possible bp or bpd) Regardless, I honestly dont think he can read me very well at all. It gets frustrating because I hate being accused of feeling's I'm not having and in all honesty, have no way to prove he is wrong because arguing with him about it just proves his point (in his mind although its just annoying to me). It's a catch 22 sometimes.

[Claire2015]

Originally Posted by Tauren

I don't think it's well-understood, but my *opinion* is that they really can't decipher them. I know from experience that they always BELIEVE they are very sensitive to what other people are feeling, but they are always just projecting what they feel, or what they expect other people to feel. I know that brain scans show the part of their brain that deals with empathy is not very active.

Hey thank you for the reply i appreciate it ahh okay so it's like a foreign language to them. That makes so much sense i have experienced that with my BPD friend where she almost blames you for the way she feels. It's always someone else's fault instead of her taking a look at the common denominator (herself) in all the problems she deals with.

You have evidence that empathy is something they lack that's interesting i never knew that i thought they just didn't want to show empathy or wanted to be center of attention in the conversation topic if you get me.

Thank you again

Claire

[Claire2015]

Originally Posted by Lyndora72946

Hello Claire,

I was diagnosed with BPD when I was 20 after extreme self harming behavior was discovered.

7 years later (with no treatment), another traumatic event happened to me which triggered a major depressive episode, which I am currently in now.

Meeting with doctor and therapist, I discovered that I didn't have BPD, but ADD.

Once I realized that I was actually suffering from ADD, it all made sense.

ADD and BPD are so similar that most of the symptoms overlap. Please research on the website below:

bpddemystified.com

I think it's important to note because individuals with BPD are often told there are no medications to treat them. There is for ADD, obviously.

When I tried the ADD medications it did help me. This has all been very recent, so I can't give you a lot of information on "getting better". One way you can find out if its one or the other: If the Adderall or other stimulant medication seems like its not effecting you, then you probably have ADD. If you get buzzed or hyper on it, it means you don't have ADD.

I have other issues as well, and the BPD/ADD was just one part of it.

Hope this helps,

Lyndi

Hey Lyndi thank you so much for sharing that, i appreciate every post that expresses personal experiences cause i can learn more about it and hopefully make others aware of it too. Wow so the overlapping symptoms mean't you were misdiagnosed and treated for it, that must be so frustrating when you expect to be feeling better once consulting a doctor and having treatment.

I'm glad that you finally have a certain understanding of how your brain is wired and the treatment needed to manage it. Hats off to you that must of been traumatic dealing with suicidal thoughts and being told it was a condition that didn't tick all the boxes. At least now you can get on the straight and narrow then hopefully be able to use your ADD to excel in your career instead of become suicidal again.

Please know i am here if you ever need someone to talk to, no one should ever commit suicide especially when the circumstances are mendable.

Thank you again

Claire

[Claire2015]

Originally Posted by WifeofBPD

I agree with this! One thing I have noticed about my husband is that when he is always quick to say that I am angry over issues that arise. I am an emotional person and wear my emotions on my sleeve, but I rarely get angry. Frustrated, yes. Annoyed, yes. But I don't hit angry or pissed off very often. He is quicker to anger and always seems to project those emotions on to me. Either that or its how he was conditioned by his mother growing up (she is quick to anger too..possible bp or bpd) Regardless, I honestly dont think he can read me very well at all. It gets frustrating because I hate being accused of feeling's I'm not having and in all honesty, have no way to prove he is wrong because arguing with him about it just proves his point (in his mind although its just annoying to me). It's a catch 22 sometimes.

Thank you for responding that sounds like a nightmare, my friend is like that except we're just friends whereas you're married. That is something i always get stuck with when i am accused of thinking or acting a certain way that makes her nervous.... Like we could just be waiting in a queue at Burger King i'd be in a daydream and next thing i'd be acused of not paying any attention or being bored by her, when i reply i'm then being "annoying", "weird" or "bulls****ing" her.

It then escalates and i never know how to calm things down how do you calm your husband down, it seems like the more you speak the worse it makes it but walking away is just as bad or even worse cause then that will enable more accusations way out of proportion. I agree catch 22 indeed

Thank you again

Claire

[starfruit504]

It's not a hardware problem, so much as a software problem. A personality disorder is a pattern of inner experience and behavior that deviates from the norm in one's culture. It's how they experience and interact with the world. Of course they can learn to do it differently, the question is will they.

[Claire2015]

Originally Posted by starfruit504

It's not a hardware problem, so much as a software problem. A personality disorder is a pattern of inner experience and behavior that deviates from the norm in one's culture. It's how they experience and interact with the world. Of course they can learn to do it differently, the question is will they.

Thank you for replying i get you it's from their environment rather than from themselves. Do you think people with BPD are aware of how to reverse it? Handle it differently or even rewire their brains?

Claire

[starfruit504]

Originally Posted by Claire2015

Thank you for replying i get you it's from their environment rather than from themselves. Do you think people with BPD are aware of how to reverse it? Handle it differently or even rewire their brains?

Claire

Anyone can learn to handle their emotions or situations differently. (That's what CBT is all about) It's just difficult to make them self-aware and motivate them to make the change.

I'm not sure people with personality disorders are aware of the way in which they interact with the world. It's so automatic and they've been doing it for so long. It's hard for anyone to recognize their own cognition and behavior. I think if someone with BP shows up in therapy it's because they've been disappointed by the effects of their disorder -- but they probably don't recognize that the problem is internal -- there's an external locus of control for them.

I know that therapists have a hard time helping patients who present with personality disorders because it's difficult to motivate them to change because they see their behavior as adaptive, not maladaptive. That's the big hurdle.

[Claire2015]

Originally Posted by starfruit504

Anyone can learn to handle their emotions or situations differently. (That's what CBT is all about) It's just difficult to make them self-aware and motivate them to make the change.

I'm not sure people with personality disorders are aware of the way in which they interact with the world. It's so automatic and they've been doing it for so long. It's hard for anyone to recognize their own cognition and behavior. I think if someone with BP shows up in therapy it's because they've been disappointed by the effects of their disorder -- but they probably don't recognize that the problem is internal -- there's an external locus of control for them.

I know that therapists have a hard time helping patients who present with personality disorders because it's difficult to motivate them to change because they see their behavior as adaptive, not maladaptive. That's the big hurdle.

Thank you for replying that makes sense if they adapt to it do you think they will find it harder to treat? It might become the norm for them to deal with what they deal with to the point they may fear treating the condition may ignite new problems or issues. They may want to stop the suffering but may fear treating it won't help or will create new problems?

Thank you again

Claire

[starfruit504]

I think it's 50/50. A person with BPD probably doesn't change partly because they can't pinpoint what they're doing wrong in their relationships and partly because they feel their behavior is adaptive (i.e. it helps them feel more important, get more attention, quell their fear of abandonment, or generally feel more secure in a relationship).

Change is hard. I think we all feel like changing could cause new problems. That's why habits stick so well. We fall into the same patterns of thought over and over again. The only difference between the average person and the person with BPD is that the BPs world is unstable if they don't change.

I had an ex who had BPD. I would tell him verbally, "I am not leaving you." or "why are you sabotaging your life" or "you know you are being irrationally jealous."

He would agree with me and then go about his BPD behavior even if he knew it would cause us hurt.

I have tried to stay close to him over the years, but he push/ pulls constantly.

It is very frustrating.

Oh well, maybe in another life, huh?

[MissFiona]

I think it's like a camera flash going off in front of you, well that's how it was for me, one day I just saw things clearly. It seemed to coincide with something changing with my eyesight. I couldn't read fine print anymore but my long distance vision became stronger.

[Claire2015]

Originally Posted by starfruit504

I think it's 50/50. A person with BPD probably doesn't change partly because they can't pinpoint what they're doing wrong in their relationships and partly because they feel their behavior is adaptive (i.e. it helps them feel more important, get more attention, quell their fear of abandonment, or generally feel more secure in a relationship).

Change is hard. I think we all feel like changing could cause new problems. That's why habits stick so well. We fall into the same patterns of thought over and over again. The only difference between the average person and the person with BPD is that the BPs world is unstable if they don't change.

Thank you for responding again i appreciate it ahhh okay i get you so they might be aware that they're causing friction in a relationship but also are oblivious to the fact they adapted their behaviour as a coping mechanism which could be the result of their actions?

I agree but unless you test the waters you won't know.... I just hope BP's test them instead of staying in the same place.

Thank you again i really appreciate it

Claire