Completely alone...

I've been dating someone, who I'd known for some years, and knew had had mental health problems, for a few months. I've gradually come to realise that he isn't who he says he is: that some-maybe all-of the things he tells me about himself just aren't true.

I have no one to talk to. I haven't met his family- there's always been an excuse why I can't travel to him, or, because he travels for work, why he's near me anyway. And my friends and family-well-I'm not sure there's anyone I can trust not to look down on me for being made a fool of.

The thing is, he's becoming severely depressed. A couple of nights ago he told me that he was spending the weekend with his old professor, who would be able to help him. I wish I were sure this professor even exists...

I told him that I didn't want to be part of the problem: that I knew some of the stories he'd told me weren't real. He admitted this, and I didn't push it. Maybe I should have done. I'm so scared of hurting him that I'm ending up hurting myself (I have disordered eating; it had been under control for a year before we started dating and and I've now lost control of it completely).

I don't know who he is, and I feel like I've got no way of finding out. And yet I love the person he is when he's with me.

I want to support him, but I don't know how. And I don't know if I'm strong enough. And I don't know how much of what he's told me I can stand to be unreal before it feels as if everything is a lie.

I'm sure it all sounds a bit childish to those of you who live with problems every day. But I just don't know what to do...

Hello and welcome to Psych Central. I sincerely feel if you intend of having a relationship with this person, you need to encourage him to see a professional because a mental health disorder can be as hard or harder on the caregiver or other person in the relationship than the person with the mental health disorder at time. You may need to see a therapist as well to help you set the boundaries you need to stay in the relationship with this person, and get the support you need while trying to sustain a relationship with someone with a mental health disorder. Seeing a therapist can help you stay motivated to see how things really are in the relationship not how you are trying to see them for yourself, to deny the problems that exist in the relationship at this time, or having to make excuses for the other parties behavior due to his mental health issues. I hope the best for you in the future, and I hope your partner gets the help he needs for his mental health disorder soon. Take care and good day. Soidhonia

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I don't know who he is, and I feel like I've got no way of finding out.
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I think you said it right there yourself
Maybe there is pleasure when you are together - and that is valuable
But in terms of what this relationship means to you or to him - this is something that you might want to consider.
Hopefully, other people and interests are part of your life.
All the best to you