another schiz

Hi Justice,
Yes, I think you will be able to help me. I'm relaxing a bit now, I'll pm you.
I wonder if anyone else is listening to our conversation?

What did you do when the dog bit you? My experience with dogs is that you have to be very firm and let them know clearly what they are and arent allowed to do. I only ever had one dog, and that worked with her.

What music do you like? I just bought a CD, Penguin Cafe Orchestra, love it! keep playing it, it made me dance around in unrealistic optemism at first. Wouldnt be able to do that if anyone was there, too self conscious.

Ok, I'll go to pm now.

riverx

<font color="#000088">Oh,I told him very firmly how bad it was to bite. Not just me,but anybody! Then he got 3 hours of time out, and got put on house arrest! He can't go outside until I know that he won't bite again!(house arrest)He's not happy about it though, but that's what happens when you bite the hand that feeds you! You get punished! I can't take the risk of him biting someone else outside, or I get in trouble. So I have to be a responsible owner, and be sure that he is safe to the public, before exposing him to the public. But how do you explain that to a little dog? You can't!
I like mostly R&B and Hip Hop, but there is a lot of Alternative Mainstream Rock that I really like to, like for example,Pink,Maroon 5,Daughtry,Live,My Chemical Romance, and there are some others! I can't think of them all right off hand!
But I used to be able to dance to them, but with my spinal injury now,I can't without hurting my back!
But I used to Dance,and I loved it!
I was in a Singing and Dancing group that did shows for the public, we even traveled sometimes to do shows! That was a long time ago! But it sure was fun though! </font>

Hi Justice,
Yeah, its hard to explaing to a dog ethical concepts!"!", not to mention crime and punishment.
I guess some people too!
I just wrote you a long post and my hand slipped, and it all disappeared. Oh well, wasnt meant to be I guess.

I said something like AAAAAAAAAAggggggggghhhhhhh Your family sound like the family dynamic from hell.. I didnt know you were living at home. I'd say you need a lot of support to keep sane with that going on around you.
Is there a poss of you getting out?

And my 12 step thing, I know I need to readjust to reality that not everone is going to jump at it, I thought there would be a more positive response, but I have had to learn a lot. And realise there are other ways.
I have been having a study group here with a friend, reading the literature on schizoid, its deep and interesting, I'd like it to grow, so I will talk about that sometime. Also, I tried therapy for the pd, and it made me worse, but loved her and want to go back. I'll share about that in the therapy place sometime maybe.

I dont know if this will help, but years back, when I was with my mother to deal with my anger with her I used to pray silently all the time I was with her as well as visualising a protective light around myself and also a silver globe above my head to visualise the highest good, I got those ideas from a book called 'psychic self defense'.

lotsa love, hope the dog learns its lesson.

<font color="#000088">Actually, I don't live with my family. I have my own apartment with my little doggy! But my family still calls,or comes by, and they have these monthly family disasters(parties), that they always try to get me to go to. Just so they can treat me like crap, and make fun of me in front of everybody else, like the in-laws, and my neices and nephews to make them laugh!
But I don't attend those disasters, because I know better! So every month I have to come up with an excuse why I can't go!

Where did you find the quote from David O Mckay? If you don't mind me asking.

I sure hope that my dog learns his lesson soon to, cause I really don't enjoy having to punish him, and keep putting him in time out so much! </font>

Hi,
Quote was from a book called 'The Spirituality of Imperfection', I think. Will tell you more re the book if you like.
I liked your description of your family disaster parties made me laugh but couldnt find the right smiley.
You know something, I was thinking today, you are really quite organised.......... like getting out of here on time and organising your dog, and getting to bed ontime..... how do you manage that considering the chaos and the dishonesty you got surrounded with?? I think it deserves one of these.....

well DAMN it wont let me use the smileys, I'm now appearing more of a technoflop than ever. oh well!!

Anyway, I need more self discipline myself and to get to bed ontime, will try agian tonight.
It woul be fun to know our time difference, we could be as much as 8 hours apart, if you tell me where you are I can find out.
Justice, do you really want advice about handling your family situation? I may have some suggestions if you do.

syL8er.

riverx

FOUND IT !!!

This was for organised and self care. As for me, I've done it again, its 1.35am.

Not another schiz, but it is 1am and I have the same problem as you that way. I usually hang out in depression/psychotherapy but I exhausted those! Been here a week and can't stop reading. I'm exhausting me too. Good to see you got the technology sorted.

Hi Debbie,
Welcome to this forum, another, other schiz!
I'm going to really try to go to bed early tonight, hope you keep posting here, would love to talk more with you,
warm wishes for now,

River.

<font color="#000088">Sorry, I've been pretty busy the last couple days,so I haven't had time to post. But I do keep a preety tight schedule. I make sure I'm off the Computer by a certain time, so that I can get my things around the apartment done by a certain time. There's a few shows I like to watch on TV at a certain time at night,or more like in the evening. So I make sure everything is done by then, so I can sit back and watch them, and not have to worry about not having taken care of things first that needed to be done for the day. That way I can really relax better!
I was just curious about the quote, because the author of the qoute is about the 8th Prophet of the Mormon Church, that's why I was wondering. I could be off, he might be the 7th,or the 9th, but I'm pretty sure he's the 8th! For a second there I thought you were LDS or something. Not that it would be bad or anything, it just caught my attention!
I don't let my family run my life, even though they do get into my head a lot, and get me all upset guite often. They have no authority in my household. I run a tight ship!lol..
If they had control here there would be messes everywhere,and no food! They are lazy,and they eat way too much! </font>

Hi,
I did notice your absence. Yes, thats the impression I got, youre organised. I have issues with mismanagement and chaos, my family does too. I need to really work on this one. My love affair with PC has been keeping me up late, that I'm allowing to run, I'm enjoying the excitement for now.

WHAT is a LDS? NO clue!!

must be some kind of bible basher?? or ummmmmmm.....
a 'levitationally directed schizoid'? fascinated. Shame though, I thought you were going to tell me you liked the quote.

riverX.

<font color="#000088">LDS stands for Ladder Day Saints, in other words, Mormons! I can't say more. I must behave! It is a nice quote, I didn't see anything wrong with the quote!
I really love PC to, but I do have to keep my schedule, even if it means logging off early to get things done on time! I am just a very disciplined person, and when I set my mind on something. I do it! I have a lot to get done by next Thursday! So I need to make sure I keep things up, so I will be able to get the extra stuff done over the weekend!
I might not have time to be here on Monday and Tuesday, I have appointments both days, and keeping the house up on my regular schedule when I get back from my appointments. So I don't even think I'll have time to log-on those 2 days!
Have a great weekend though! </font>

Great, and thanks for telling me about being away. You're taking care of my feelings and thats nice. I am away this weekend probably too.
I think I can imagine what you'd be saying if you allowed yourself re the LDS people, so you dont need to. I know what religious fundamentalists are about, like any fundamentalist. One of the importand values I have is 'think for yourself', and followers tend not to and that gives me the horrors.

Good for you for the generalship, I'm in preschool with that one, will get there one day, I believe, but better not leave it too too long. Have a good one Justice, lovely to touch base with you.

riverX

<font color="#000088">You to!lol.... And have a great weekend! </font>

<font color="#000088">I like your new avatar. It's a really nice picture. I just thought I'd mention that. I noticed you hadn't come back to our thread since you got back, and I didn't know why. So I thought I'd start it off back by telling you how nice your new avatar is!
I've been enjoying our conversations here, is there something you would like to tell me in a PM, that caused you to stop replying here, or is everything okay! Maybe you just got caught up on other stuff. It happens!
Did you have a good weekend anyway? And how was your trip? Did everything go well?
Wishing you the best!
-Me- </font>

Hi Justice,
Nice to be back here with you. I stopped kinda because you were going away and your last post was a kind of see you later type of flavour. I'm glad you enjoy our conversations, and like the picture. The only thing thats 'wrong', and it may not be at all wrong is the intensity and anxiety I feel about this whole place. I dont totally understand it, but I think I have brought all my emotions here rather than irl (hey look how good I'm getting at the local lingo in this land, love it!), Yeah I think I get a bit delerious here and dont trust my judgement, so I feel very vulnerable.

My trip wasnt entirely easy, I was with friends and I dont find being with people easy. Much easier in smaller doses. But I swam in the sea which was my main ambition.

Last night I wrote this huge long thing about my expereinces in therapy which were so difficult and I'm in such mixed feelings about it, in the other forum, and wondering what kind of response i'll get. Ok, I think I need to allow myself to be who I am and be less worried about other people's reactions.

Tell me, how were your few days away??

riverx

by the way your new picture is awsomely scary..... tell me about it, I'd like to know....................

<font color="#000088">Oh, that avatar was just up there temporarily, while I was adjusting the size of the personal one I actually wanted up there. It was the Grim Reaper! Because, right now I have a really bad case of the Flu, and I feel like I'm dying. Even though in reality I know I'm not, I just feel like it, because I'm so sick right now. So I just put up how I feel at the moment, as if death is coming to take me away,"the grim reaper"!
But now I have my new one resized and put up, like I wanted! It was originally too big to have as an avatar. So I had to work with it, before it would fit to the size permitted for an avatar!
But, my weekend,and those days I was gone, I was very sick with the Flu, and I still am! I'm not as sick today as I was those days, but I'm still sick! I was too sick to get the extra cleaning done, that I wanted to do! And had my Doctors appointment on Monday the 27th, and he said it was the Flu, and that it would probably take atleast a couple weeks to clear up, and run it's course!
I ended up failing the inspection I had that week, but not because of my house not being clean. Because my house is always clean. It was because of faulty construction above my window air-conditioning unit! So it wasn't even my fault! But it has been re-built now, and they are re-inspecting it on Thursday,so that I'll pass the inspection! I was so mad, because they should have done it right, when they installed it!
But other than all that bull %#@&#!! I've just been trying to rest, and get feeling better! But I'm glad you got to swim in the sea, I love swimming in the Ocean! And I don't like being around a lot of people either. I like my space!
But yeah,I do enjoy our conversation here!
Talk to you again! </font>

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So I just put up how I feel at the moment, as if death is coming to take me away,"the grim reaper"!

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I like that about you, you dont 'nicify things at all!.. I meet so many people here who are always trying to nicify things, its got something to do with 'positive thinking', but positive thinking isnt any good if you havent told the truth first, its like icing on $%^*/``=+!
I think when you've got bad flu, thats all you can do, lie there till you get better.
Ok, now tell me about the handcuffs. Kind of gothic all this?? I think if I was to imagine, let me see,,,,, the grim reapder, handcuffs, a name like justice!!! I think well, it all hangs together somehow.... though I wouldnt know how to put it into words, its just a feeling, something like power an potential, I hope thats not intrusive, I dont mean it too seriously or anything.
But, I know you were there for me when I was new here, I think I'm beginning to feel a bit more integrated and getting involved in some of the forums, but you feel like my home page, where I feel a bit more secure.
((((((((((((((Justice)))))))))))))))

<font color="#000088">Justice, and the Handcuffs!lol...That's because I've been seeking justice agains't my abuser from my childhood for 25 years. I would love to see a pair of handcuffs on that pedophile more than anything! And I am doing everything in my power to see that it happens. I'm really close to finally getting Justice served agains't him to!
That's the reason behind my screen name Justice, and the avatar of the Handcuffs! The grim reaper was just a temporary, "me feeling like %#@&#!" at the time, replacement! I'm actually even sicker now, I have a case of the shingles that just recently flared up again, on top of the tail end of the Flu! So I'm pretty sick right now, and taking more anti-biotics for the shingles again!
It's just an adult form of the Chicken Pox! That's what my Doctor told me!

But in other area's, I passed my inspection for my Section 8 Housing! Hooray!
Well I hope you have a good weekend, and I'll be resting up a lot, except for my monthly grocery shopping trip tomorrow!
But you know, I've got to get my needs met, and my groceries aren't going to appear out of nowhere!

Salud! </font>

Yeah, I kinda thought that. You have the warrior spirit in you. I guess you'd be a wounded warrior right now. So, rest well, hope to see you back well again.

riverx

God, these smileys are wonderful/ rediculous, I love them.

riverx

<font color="#000088">Thanks! I don't like being sick. But I am definately a fighter, I don't back down from anything unless it's just a lost cause,or not even a challenge!
Do you realize that this icon here-->actually means that you have no pity for the situation!
I hope that's not what you mean't by it!
Talk to you soon, and have a good one! </font>

OH! No, definately not what I meant. woops!

Hey, do you know our little thread has the caught fire sign. But actually, I think that sign is meant to be a because a subjects so rivetting that a 100 people replied, not exactly............... how it is here! do you think we should make something dramatic happen to justify the 'caught fire sign' ?? not being serious.

g.night see ya


:

<font color="#000088">I didn't think you mean't nopity!lol..That's why I had the little icon rolling on the floor laughing!
No you're sweet, you do care, I knew you were just having fun with the icons!
We could start up a controversy of some type, or a demonstration for a good cause!

Take your bow since your thread hit flame status! My introduction has a flame next to it!LOL...
But I better go get back to rest, it's getting that time of day again, you know, log-out time!
Gotta keep my schedule!!!!!
We got flame status!lol...
Take care, and well chat again, and we should make it more juicy or dramatic!
PM me with ideas if you want! </font>

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Take your bow since your thread hit flame status! My introduction has a flame next to it!LOL.

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We could start up a controversy of some type, or a demonstration for a good cause!

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

sounds like fun? ! a risk?

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PM me with ideas if you want!

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see if we can hook anyone else in, I'll see if I can cook
anything up!

I'm off now too, going to bed a bit more sensible tonight.

<font color="#000088">Were just getting started now! Plus I'll be over the Chicken Pox in just a few more days! Then I won't be as sick, and will have more time to be on here!
My little doggy was adopted today, by a loving family that will take very good care of him. He'll be so happy once he gets adjusted to his new home, and gets to know his new Mommy a little better. She's really nice. And she just adored him, so I know she'll just spoil him, and she has a couple kids that will play with him to! So I'm pretty happy about that to! I'll sure miss him, but knowing that he's in a safe place where he'll be happy, makes it much easier on me! I don't have to worry about him! He'll be just fine!
Gotta go! Time to log-off for the night! I have dished to do, and pet stuff to clean up!

Get my Apartment back to normal, as a non-pet household! </font>

Hi ladies. I just thought you sounded curious about the "hot topic" icon. It's automatic - you get that icon if there are a lot of replies, or if the thread has been viewed a lot of times. A while back you were wondering if anyone else was reading your conversation. Well, it sounds like maybe so. I have followed it, but didn't want to interrupt. I just think it's great that you two are getting along and getting to know each other so well. And the rest of us have been getting to know you too. I hope I'm not intruding.


Carry On,
Rap