should i be worried

i know this isnt as serious as some of the other things here but in the last two years ive been at high school and im happy i love my friends and my personality is there completely and there are no problems but before i came to high school whenever i spoke to some one my personality would be there always if you know what i mean but now my personality only comes out with my friends or when im around a few select people. for example in the first few days of school i only spoke to some people because i was having these boring generic conversations that was completely not me and its not that i wasnt confident because i was making an effort my brain just wasnt working in a sense. i was in a situation where i was in class one week and most of my friends were with me and there was another girl that i dont usually talk to and we were all talking and she seemed to like my personality and i felt comfortable talking around her but the second everyone else left i couldnt think of anything to say i dont get it she liked my personality why couldnt i talk to her. when i meet people for the first time its like a lucky dip some i can talk to some i like and want to talk to but i cant and i just go quiet my personality is gone. ive also noticed since 2 years ago that i cant get angry at a person or be mean at someone i dont like or stand up for myself when someone else isnt there and i want to but my brain just locks up. sometimes with some of my friends my personality locks up a bit but rarely. im concerned that in the fuure and at the moment that i cant talk to people how am i going to work to stand up for myself its not that im not confident i am i just cant think of anything is this an actual problem am i just over thinking it or what should i do?

Okay, lets take this one step at a time. You're saying that you have had no problems up until entering high school, upon which you started to have trouble finding anything to talk about with unfamiliar people. You also mention having problems properly standing up for yourself.
Since I happen to dislike the traditional answer for teenage problems ["it's your hormones"], lets take a different approach. It seems like whatevers happening is definately having an impact on your personality, but it may not neccessarily be the cause. Is there anything thats been bothering you lately in your life? Or do you feel anxious in situations where you're left without anything to say? There may be different reasons why this happens. In the end I can't really help you find out why; but I can suggest that you spend some times thinking about things in a constructive manner. Doing something calm and relaxing before delving into what you may think is "wrong with you and why" [and I don't beleive that there is anything wrong with you], is probably a good idea. If thats something you don't want to think about it, why not ask someone that you trust to give you an honest answer? Sometimes were our own worst judges.

As to whether this could be an actual problem and whether it's going to stick around, I'm not sure. Things that happen when your an adolescent may or may not stay the same when you're an adult. That's because adolescence is about finding your identity. I actually would be more concerned if you thought about this and worried about for longer than you think is normal. Worries can make you overthink things, and then small issues turn into big ones.

Best of luck and good wishes to you.

First, I doubt if there's anything wrong with you. Have you had a chance in school to take the Myers-Briggs? You might be interested in the Kiersey Temperament Sorter, which is the same thing at this site: http://kts2.personalityzone.com/user/register.aspx (You can make up a name and get an anonymous email address from hotmail.com

This was a lifesaver for me. All the results are positive. We're all just not the same and each have our own special gifts. Also the book _Please Understand Me_ by Kiersey has this info.

Sahara, welcome to PsychCentral (PC). I think you have normal teen/growing up difficulties; getting to know more people than you're accustomed to in situations that are more in your control and less structured.

When you first meet a person, one doesn't know the other person well enough (or they, you) to have a whole lot to say at first! It's easy to be part of a group conversing, just adding in on what other people think to start but not so easy to start! Watch next time you're in a conversation with a group of your friends; some people only "comment" they don't start subjects or conversations with others.

There's no "rule" or good/bad about starting conversations/friendships with new people; some people are naturally better at it or have had more practice. If you want to be someone who starts conversations, then think of 3-4 opening questions to ask someone and when everyone else is gone and it's just you two, ask one or two of those and see if you can get something interesting going.

It sounds like you have a warm and friendly personality; I wouldn't worry about anything being wrong unless you can't learn ways to practice being a conversationalist (if that's what you want). It takes a lot of practice for some people to get so their mind doesn't "go blank". But if you think of the 3-4 things that you enjoy and "wonder" if the other person does (as opposed to the "weather" :-) I'm sure you'll get more comfortable and think of even more things to talk about with new friends.

yer i understand that but its not just at school its other people too and also i noticed i was in this conversation that was sort of the same as one i had with my frind and i was jooking around and i had something to say but when i was with the other person i couldnt think of anything i need something i just dont know how to keep talking to relax i dont know how to stop worrying

I would relax, because I don't see that there is anything wrong with your personality. Were all different. Some of us can be quieter than others. And the way we act changes a lot in adolescence. My brother, for instance, was a very quiet child, very shy, up until he entered high school, at which point he became an overtly sociable person. If you find yourself spending a lot of time thinking and/or worrying about this, then why not try some anxiety relieving techniques, such as deep breathing, or do something that is calming or distracting to you? [like reading a book or listening to music?]

Hope you're doing alright.