[Kioko]

Hello - I am new here and I'm seeking personal/anecdotal information re: the effectiveness of meds when used for personality disorders. I am in a great relationship which I am ruining because of severe attachment disorder. I am currently taking amitriptyline and paroxetine in order to control my perpetual near-panic level fear of abandonment. I know the SSRI group of meds is not great for treating personality disorders, but I'm hoping to hear about some anecdotal successes from some of you.
Thanks,
Kioko

[Fuzzybear]

Welcome to PC Kioko! I also have severe abandonment fears - near panic level also sounds like what I experience. I take paroxetine also. At a higher dose it does damp down all my feelings so controls symptoms but as you probably know psychotherapy and self work are the best treatments for personality disorders. There is hope for this, people who know me IRL say I'm much "better" these days although I still have many struggles and experience much pain. I wish you luck and please keep posting!

[Perna]

Hey, Kioko, welcome to PsychCentral (PC). I see in your signature you like SEA history, I've studied a bit of Vietnam's (have a BA in history) with much interest.

I was once dx'd with borderline personality disorder but mostly had therapy for general anxiety disorder. I'm not thrilled with abandonment either, since my mother was sick from before I was born and died when I was a toddler. I had some attachment issues because of that and things that happened afterwards. But I agree with Fuzzy, therapy and self work is the best help.

[Susan27]

hi kioko,
i've been in therapy for 17 years now. when i started i was pretty young and new into dating and when someone would cheat on me or threaten to break up with me i'd consider dying. i don't know if this will sound like success to you but there's been much improvement over these years. i was on paxil and klonopin the entire time to treat the symptoms of anxiety and depression. i've needed a lot of psychotherapy and continue once or twice a week now. i don't feel the fear of abandonment nearly as much as i used to but it's still there and rears it's ugly head from time to time. i've had major setbacks when someone close to me has died and felt like i moved major steps backwards. i'm sure because that's the ultimate feeling of abandonment, huh? although the meds don't treat the personality disorder they do help tremendously with the symptoms of the disorder and that's what we need in order to do the inner work of bearing those childhood feelings that we've pushed away and integrating and becoming whole. my abandonment issues started at a very young age and they say that if stuff happens before the age of 3 that it's a long process and can take considerable time to heal since it happened during the preverbal years. i can tell you my behaviors that would ruin the relationship have calmed down and are almost non existant now. the jealousy and paranoia used to drive them away. i was always so desperate and needy. now, i still need a lot of reassurance, more than my current bf can give me but instead of taking it out on him and being destructive, i can usually hold the feelings on my own and realize that i'm "doing it again" which is remarkable for me since i was always so impulsive with my reactions.

i'm not sure of your history or how long the process will take, but i can assure you the only choice you have at this point is to go on the journey and take it one day at a time. without treatment, it only escalates and gets worse with age. and you don't get away with it as easily as when you're young.

i hope you get the tx you need. feel free to pm me anytime you want to chat with someone. i really get it!!!

susan

[AlteredState01]

Hey Kioko, and

Personally, I don't find that meds control any of my behaviours that result from my PD, only certain symptoms, like SSRI's for my depression, anxiety meds for my anxiety, etc.

Certain theraputic strategies have helped, but for the most part, I am a lost cause. But then again, I was not diagnosed until I was in my early 40's when my behavioural patterns were well established and very deeply rooted in my psyche.

However, that does not mean that you are forever stuck as I think I am.

I think the best thing is a combination of meds and long-term, continual therapy. You kinda have to wing it. After all, that's what the professionals are doing!

Hope I haven't burst any bubbles! Remember, this is only one opinion from one nut-case!!!

[ECHOES]

:

I'm just now seeing this thread and post--GREAT post Fuzzy!!