[love_hate_sad]

It has been a while sence i have been here. I have been hiding in a game...which is so much like rl its unbeleavable. I have been so confused with who i am and everything.I went to play the game to have fun. Well instead i made a lot of friends...i have broken a lot of guys hearts and i feel horrable. I understand its just a game to most that are reading this. But you can't say it unless you know what im talking about. Its not your typlical game at all. Everything there is just like irl...even real people. I became really close with one guy threw my game. He wanted a real relationship with me...which i can't offer right now. He was one of the greatest men i have talked to...i even talked to him in voice a lot. Like i said we was close. But then all hell broke loose and everything ended. I couldn't love him...tho i felt it. But i felt so confused i didn't realize that i did until it was to late. Most people in the game are looking for love..some find it. People like us who have been hurt. I feel guilty for not knowing what love really is and how it feels or if its real at all. I have learned from the game that no matter how hard i try and nice i am and they are..im still not completely happy. I am addicted to this game because of all the friends i have made and i wish to never lose that. But everytime i turn around i end up hurting someone some how. Some wanna meet me irl too...but i fear of hurting them later. And i don't trust myself irl either. I just become so lost and confused on whats right from wrong and how i should act from how i don't and all. I think i fear love and happiness somtimes. idk why...i guess because i never had it or somthing idk. This game was only to be fun...and now its just like rl in most ways. Idk whats wrong with me anymore. I tried so hard to seperate rl and the game...but when you talk to real people everyday and they become your close friend its hard. I hope someone can help me figure this all out..because i sures in heck can't.Thanks.

[Mouse_]

If I'm understanding you correctly, you become someone else to try and gain love and security? But when people are drawn to the person you are pretending to be, it gets all confused and it doesn't correspond with the rules you silently hold within your mind? It doesn't match up either, it was always meant to be a feeling that would make you feel you had finally got that what you have seeked??? but when you experience it IRL from another "object" it becomes to real and to scary?

[love_hate_sad]

well not that so much. I didn't become someone else or even act like someone im not in the game i play. I was able to express myself more threw the game tho and be more open. I didn't join the game looking for love or security. It was only to have fun and shop and have friends. But things just took a diffrent turn than expected and i became attached to a few people in the game as they did with me. I had no issues with knowing that they was real or not...or reality stuff. I knew they was someone just like me. But to fall in love or to be in love is hard. I find myself pushing others away when they become to close outta fear i think.Not because its a game...but because i fear it in genreal. Its complicating.

[Perna]

Are we talking about SecondLife or a game like that? How old are you? No one does too well in relationships without "practice" in real relationships. One has to try them just like one does in a game and risk hurt and being hurt to get close and learn to give and take, to communicate, and really "live". You can't "expect" what is going to happen, life just is and relationships form and break up and people hurt you and you them. Real time isn't predictable like a book or game.

You are also your gaming self; I would remember how well you do gaming and just have faith you can do that well and rise to the occasion in real life?

[love_hate_sad]

yes...i am playin second life. and im 23 to answer your question. If you play let me know lol. Im on all the time hehehe. But things do become confusing there. idk.

[Perna]

I joined it with a friend when I was in grad school this past summer, we were checking out feasibility of creating online classes there, companies that already do that, etc. I was Davinia Beresford but only spent a day and a half on there. I went to an agency and looked for an apartment to rent but realized I didn't want to spend real money on fake life, that I had enough trouble with my life as real life :-)

You have to get out of the game and spend some time with people "here", even though it will be scary and painful. You can't have a real life there, no matter how real-like it is. It's no different than living in academia or reading, etc. and you're too young to get swallowed by that. Staying in there too long will make it that much harder to get out and eventually you won't want or be able to get out at all but it will never be fulfilling.

Do you have a therapist? You should probably get one for the addiction to the game. It's no different from any other gambling addiction I don't think; you are getting occasional feelings of having "friends". You don't, the gamepiece does. Do you want to remain a gamepiece?

[Rapunzel]

I hadn't heard of that game before. I looked it up, and I sure could get sucked in there. I would be avoiding a lot IRL if I did. It would really be tempting to try to create a replacement life there that would be better than 3-D. But something would have to be missing though, and the more time I would spend there, the more I would pull away from real life and withdraw. I know how it would go for me, and it would be so easy that it scares me. Yet it's tempting.

How much time do you spend there? Yes, the relationships and the feelings may be real, but what is it taking away from your 3-D life and relationships?

[love_hate_sad]

i hate to say it...but i spend most the day hidden in that game. I am already very addicted to it. I would feel horrable if i left. I have a lot of drama there...but i also am happy..if that makes scence. I have been looking for a way to escape reality i suppose..i hate my life. Irl i would rather rid under a rock or live on the streets and i would be happier than i am with my rl right now. I know its nto a good thing to be addicted...but i can't pull awway from it...and when i do i think about it and i get pissed that i can't play. I have been spending to much time on the game and i know that...and i do need to spend more time with my rl. Its just so hard.

[Juliaspavlov]

L...H...S.. I used to do that with Sims 2
I would put my family and friends in the game
and live the life I wanted for them.
I would even put my dad(who's dead) and
get him to hug me (only innocent stuff)
but I would also get him to be romantic with
my mum. I also have a disabled brother with
Downe Syndrome. I used to get him great
jobs in the game...and lots of stuff he couldnt do.
With my kids I would get them a marriage partner
so I could pretend to be a grandmother.lol.
It was so addictive. I used to play it till like 4 in the
morning.It was a real escape from the IRL life
problems I couldn't deal with.My family got fed up
with me. I started the addiction off when my mother-in-law
died from Mad Cow's disease. I put her in the game
and felt extremely guilty about it.
I did realise what I was doing but said to myself
it doesn't matter...they don't understand.
Housework wasn't being done.I was burning food
all the time until it became a big joke in the family
and multiple other problems. Then I destroyed
my CD's of it (about 12 of them) and then I felt
free....it had become a slavery....
I tried 2nd life and could see how it would cause me
probs and then deleted it off my computer.
Hope you resolve whatever need this is replacing in you.

kind regards Jjulia.

[Juliaspavlov]

L..H..S..
how's it going now?
still there?
Hope all is well.