Fear of Succeeding??

I think I've had this issue all my life and I know I've heard of it before- I just have no idea what it's all about, what it's called (if anything) or how to stop the cycle.

I do well in most things I have attempted. However, it seems that when things start going better- maybe just on the verge of success, I tend to stop- leaving it at that. Is anyone familiar with this? For example- one of my hobbies used to be cross-stitching. It was finally starting to look great and I was very proud of it... but for one reason or another- I still haven't finished it. This seems to happen with many things- not just hobbies.

I do love the idea of being successful at anything- and I'm kinda jealous of successful people, in fact. The funny thing is- normally, I'm the type to hate unfinished projects. hmmm... strange. Anyone know what I'm talking about at all?

For me, this happens when I'm drawing/painting. I get to a point where I think it's perfect thus far, but if I do any more it will be ruined - BY ME. I have stacks and stacks of work 'incompleted'.

I must be so afraid of failing or proving myself 'untalented' that I stop before it's completed.

I wonder if being called STUPID all my childhood by my father has anything to do with it?

What say you, peanut gallery?

perhaps [ I stress.].......RE; confoozed and VoNPD

that all our insecurities tend to lead us to seek /want perfection/admiration etc . which may give us recognition, approval, adoration, etc, but also may lead us to be expected of even more great and perfect things, and so on,and on,and on....
it is unreal and quite daunting a prospect, illusive and quite scary, the rational of this is put to the back of us, for fear of failure, thus creating a non creative loop of only so far must I cross-stich etc, in case of being horibly let down, and so on,

I hope this makes some sense to you,, as "even I can be wrong"- [ego, fear ]!!!! - so I am saying this with some "exuse" so that I then I TRY TO PREPARE my fear of failure and criticism /let-down etc, and therefore try to say this for fear of somebody else telling me that I got THIS wrong etc etc,, can you see the irony, we all fear failure of some sort!!-- i hope this helps,,,,try not to worry,, its not uncommen, try to have faith knowng that there is NO perfect Mother, Father, Poet, Musician, Actress, Therapist, Artist etc,,,

no perfect human being at all.....you are doing good things, thats what counts,,

best wishes

have an imperfect day....we're all good at that!!

alevin

I don't know if this is the same thing, but I read the Hobbit and almost all of the trilogy, but stopped before I finished because I knew that would be the end. I stopped to forstall the sense of loss.

I have all sorts of unfinished projects. I usually stop just before they are done. My latest one is the paint job on the upstairs. I did a really neat sponge technique it looks awesome. I love it. All I have to do is paint two panals on the door to the downstairs and I will be done. Maybe an hour and a half worth of work to finish the project, that includes taping and cleaning up. It has sat that way for about a year now. Just can't finish it.

I have tons of stuff like that. Don't know what causes me to not finish it but just wanted you to know you are not alone.
Zen

Not finishing things, and especially those kind of things that are connected with joy - yes, I know that, too.

It is a kind of self-sabotage, a rather automatic process of sophisticated self-damaging, I guess.
Something is blocking the way to enjoy oneself and oneselfs successes, as I see it.

And I agree, this has must have been learned some time ago.

Breaking through these walls seems to me the only way out. So when I feel this "fear of success" coming, I decide not to care and continue with whatever is my aim.

I think it is possible to learn to feel content and to not let such feelings disturbe or even obstruct personal progresses and successes.

But - I know it is sometimes hard *sigh*...

Best wishes,
bluna

I asked a friend at work if she had troubles finishing stuff. She thought about it and said no. I told her about my problem and about the upstairs paint job. She challenged me to finish it this weekend. She said she just might come by tomorrow and see if I did it. Maybe that will give me enough focus to finish it. Though I find that I would rather get the house cleaned so that it isn't a mess if she comes over. Ha ha.
Zen