Why do I spend so much time here?

Okay, here's the thing:

- I started coming here 2 years ago for a very legitimate reason (my boyfriend/husband's severe depression)
- I stayed because I found excellent support, and also started really caring about many of the people -- heck, basically all of the people here
- I took a little unplanned break because I was travelling, but even after I got back, I wasn't in the habit of hanging out here as much
- a few months ago, I discovered that I have some anxiety issues so looked around here for information
- and now I'm here not only several times a day, but basically ALL day. Almost compulsivly checking the "new post" page to see what has changed in the past 10 minutes since I had last checked

I don't currently have any mental health issues that I feel like I need help with. My husband's depression is very well managed right now. Mine is too. I'm working from home these days, which means it's much easier to get distracted from doing my real job, but I actually like my real job. It's not that boring to me -- so why do I distract myself by hanging out here SO MUCH? I don't even post that often -- mostly just reading. I spend the other half of my wasted time on another board for depression support. What am I doing? Why can't I stop?

I want to had that I'm even feeling like a "closet" member here, because I purposely have myself set to invisible because I'd be ashamed for people to know how often I'm here. I don't post as much as I am normally inclined to for that same reason. I'm kind of 'hiding' my vice from you all. But is it a vice? Could be worse... but why do I feel so guilty about it? I hide it from my husband, as well. I always have 2 windows open and close this one quickly if I hear him coming.

For some reason, I'm feeling like confessing at this moment, but will probably regret doing so later on. I'm pretty tired right now.

cuz you like it here thats why....
you are accepted here unconditionally....
its a hobby, etc...
i used to frequent other sites like "rotten.com" and "suicide girls. com" ... and i even was in a phase where i just sat and played the games at yahoo.
this place is better than any of those because there is real human interaction, and for me, its just a prcursor to me actually going out and getting some real human contact... which i think the ultimate goal should be... at least it is for me.

i noticed you were "closet" cuz you are active, yet invisible.
well its safe out here, so come on out of that closet!

together we all make this place great.

I'm not on here everyday but when I'm not on I'm wondering how is so and so doing. I hope they are having a good day and not a crappy day, maybe I should go to the library and get on but then I remember I still have to find the books I lost before I can go online there again and sit back down on the couch. I think this place is awesome because of the support we give each other and that we welcome new members with open arms. Its like welcome to the funny farm and over there is the tractor and here is the farmer etc. I don't see it as a bad thing to be addicted to this place.

Janniebug

Um....LMo....I might know someone with a similar problem! Um, sorta. I might. Maybe. But, it's doubtful that "she" would be seen on the Who's Online list either!

Good thing there is no instant messenger here or I..um I mean SHE would be in BIG trouble!!!

emmy

instant messenger here is a GREAT idea we should run it by doc john!
i would love to be able to chat with 1 person instead of going into chat and makin everyone feel left out of the conversation.....or if chat could just be modified so you could pick or create a room before going into the main room....

I come here often also - not always to post but to see how everyone is doing. It is nice to feel connected.

Yeah, I spend waaay too much time here too, lol. but i love it here, I can read posts and try to relate to people and support them. if i want to, i can post about myself. i just feel understood here and supported, especially since few people know about my depression in real life. i guess it is natural to want to come here regularly, since you have made friends here. there are worse sites you could go to anyway, lol.

I think we come here because we all share a bond and care for each other
Angie