[Butterfly_Faerie]

<font color="purple">It sucks, I was watcing the movie cellular a bit a go and it triggered me bad. I had a shower, the thoughts were there. Even getting out of the shower and going to get dressed, I just layed on the bed in the sun and just laid there in a weird position just thinking for nearly 20 mins roughly I think, I wasn't even dressed. I had to force myself up and it was so hard.

Just thinking about things that have happened to me, thinking about stuff that hasn't happened to me but it's like i'm there and it is.

It's just hard right now, I have that sinking feeling in my gut and it's hard to shake.

I talked to my psychiatrist yesturday, well had my session and brought this up to her.

She said that a trigger doesn't mean it's a memory, but instead just feeling the fear of what the person may have been feeling in the movie, and reliving it in that sense but not through memory.

If that makes sense. </font>

[wisewoman]

I agree with your pdoc, triggers just happen and they stink. I hope you are feeling better. I refer to the trigger thing as landmines or bobby traps, never know when your gonna step on one.

[mortimer]

It's hard stepping around the landmines at wisewoman said, but you got up from it and that's strength. ^_^ I hope everything can work out for you.

[TraumaMama]

Landmines are a great analogy. I ran into the anesthesiologist that caused my PTSD and almost threw up on his feet. I made it into my office before I got sick. I want to confront him about what he did to me but, since I still work at that facility, I'm kind of stuck. Suggestions???

[vacantangel]

I've never heard the analogy of landmines before but it's a really good one. Seems my life is littered with them everywhere I go. Sundance, I hope you're doing better now. I had to really stop and think about what your pdoc said and I think she's right. Whether it is reliving it because of a movie or an actual memory, the end result is still the same, emotional pain. {{{{{{sundance}}}}}}

[vacantangel]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Landmines are a great analogy. I ran into the anesthesiologist that caused my PTSD and almost threw up on his feet. I made it into my office before I got sick. I want to confront him about what he did to me but, since I still work at that facility, I'm kind of stuck. Suggestions???

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

traumamama

I don't know anything about what you've been through but I just wanted to say how incredibly difficult it must be for you to work at the same place as the person who caused your trauma. Whether you know it or not, you must be strong to be able to do that, even though you got sick to your stomach. I really don't know what to advise you, not knowing what happened so I just wanted to tell you that you're very strong and to send you a cyber hug. {{{{{{{traumamama}}}}}} Hang in there sweetie, that has got to be a really tough situation that you are in. Hopefully someone will have some good advice for you soon. My heart goes out to you. Are you still in any danger from this person?

[TraumaMama]

Thank you, AngelGirl. Danger? Not from a true standpoint. It was not a personal physical assault but (warning...) was an anesthesia screw up for my surgery. I trusted this person specifically and selected him to do my surgery due to that trust and he let me down and now I get to deal with PTSD. I still work at the facility but am looking for a new job. Anytime I see anyone from anesthesia I freak and, in my line of work, that is not an option.
Bless everybody and stay safe.

[vacantangel]

Do you mind sharing a little more about what you mean by 'screw-up'. If you'd rather not, I completely understand. I certainly don't want you to do anything that might trigger you even more. I guess what I'm thinking, if I knew more, maybe I could offer my opinion FWIW on confronting him with the issue. Did you say this was Dec 04? You can always PM me if you'd rather do it in private, provided that you feel comfortable sharing at all. Please, feel absolutely no obligation in doing so. I want you to feel safe and untriggered. Looking for a new job is probably a very good idea for you. {{{{{{TraumaMama}}}}}}}}

[(JD)]

bump

[Butterfly_Faerie]

triggers still occure, but they are getting better I guess, at least able to cope with them now more then I used to, but still scary.

thanks for bumping this sky

[(JD)]

yvw me too... but then... when they happen it's like "deja vu" all over again! heheheh arrrrgggghhhhhhhhhh