I don't use the word "phobia" here lightly and it's one of my only actual phobias. I think thunderstorms is the other. Otherwise I have a ton of anxieties, fears and scary things.

But it became very real to me last night how intense it was. Years ago I used to be in and out of psychiatric wards a lot. It's been 2-3 years since I have. Although times have warranted it. I am also part of an ACT team that helps me to stay out, because of my intense fear. The last six weeks of my C-PTSD have been truly terrible and finally I was desperate enough to enter a hospital. Go and sign myself in. But here I am typing to you.

We decided that I could no longer care for myself appropriately, that my risk of suicide was too high and that I couldn't even concentrate long enough to take my daily meds as prescribed.

So my therapist went with me on a Sunday night to the ER to sign in. I get there and I completely panic. My blood pressure hit 184/114 (and I'm always normal) and I can't stop panicking. I panicked so much that I can't even remember most of it. I remember at one point just throwing my shirt over my head and sobbing hysterically and screaming and trembling. And nobody was even touching me. But the very thought of being put in a hospital made me act like that. By the end of the night, 4 hours later they decided they couldn't possibly put me in a psychiatric hospital because in the long run it would make me much worse, even if initially it saved my life.

I have this fear, because of things that happened to me in hospitals.

(trigger)

Restraints that involved ripping off my clothes, and tying me to beds, on multiple occasions and one inserting catheters without consent. And the bruises they left behind. And the emotional abuse. If staff were upset in general, then it landed on patients. I've been called a cry baby, threatened to be "locked away forever" because I was crazy. Told that I'm only ill because my mommy didn't spoonfeed me enough, told that I wasn't worthy of the treatment I was getting. I was injected with enough medications (haldol, ativan) just to make me aggressive, so they had enough reason to restrain me. I've been kept in 5 points (yes 5 point) restraints for days on end because the facility wasn't up to par on the treatment of PTSD. The same facility allowed 6 grown men to restrain me, and rip my clothes off me as I fought till I couldn't breath anymore. I had ligature marks on my neck from them grabbing my shirt.

but now even if I really needed help, as I do currently I can't receive it, because of this.

Has anyone else ever had to deal with something like this?

[Omers]

Oh, I am SO sorry you are in this space. The last time I went in they were supposed to restrain me but the nurse decided not to. I can't imagine what you have been through or how scary it was. Is there someplace else safe you can go? Do they have an intensive out patient program you may be able to be a part of?

[PTSDlovemycats]

One time when I was in the hospital a nurse asked me to take a med. I politely refused and said that I was ok. She left and returned with 4 security guards and a huge needle to inject me with. They pinned me down and gave me the needle. I was out of it for about a day and left with MASSIVE bruises on my arms. Big (((HUGS))) to you!!

Originally Posted by PTSDlovemycats

One time when I was in the hospital a nurse asked me to take a med. I politely refused and said that I was ok. She left and returned with 4 security guards and a huge needle to inject me with. They pinned me down and gave me the needle. I was out of it for about a day and left with MASSIVE bruises on my arms. Big (((HUGS))) to you!!

This happened to me too Cats. I did nothing wrong on a general ward. I dealt with an eating disorder at the time and refused to eat dinner if they were going to make me sit in a huge lounge afterwards, with a lot of other really sick people who frightened me and triggered my anxiety. After two meals of this, a nurse got so angry she called security, who restrained me, (fight or flight) and put me in a quiet room for three days. A blue mat on the floor with no windows. That time I was not forced drugs, because I would have gladly walked to the quiet room if they would have asked. But when 4-5 big men show up in my room. Fight or flight. So I fought and gladly took the anxiety meds by mouth. But those shots do hurt, and absolutely not necessary with PTSD. If more employees understood PTSD, they may understand escalation and de escalation. This is why I was given and ACT team. Because anytime I enter a hospital they have someone on call who accompanies you. I have been restrained so many times when not necessary, that only exasperated symptoms. So the ACT team, knows me, knows my history and knows how to de escalate versus escalation. It's fight or flight for someone with PTSD and when I'm really scared I've fought off large men in multiples, and broken restraints, going on adrenaline alone. But if they had never started the agitation process, it would have went much differently. However most people in psych wards are overworked and don't have the patience to "de escalate". They'd rather stick you and leave. I told my team that if I ever have to go inpatient again that I refuse to go anywhere that doesn't specialize.

[Can't Stop Crying]

I also was traumatized in a hospital...it was twenty years ago but the fear never fades. As an adolescent I was placed on an adult ward, there was an offender there who often expressed his "interest" in me. I slept in restraints because I was considered a danger to myself. So I spent most nights tied to a bed waiting for this person to r*** me. Also, a lot of bad experiences with quiet rooms, being physically restrained, 4 point restraints, being held down and given shots....I could keep going but I don't want to hijack your thread. I just wanted you to know that I can relate and I understand. I currently have a plan with my doctor that if I need the safety of the hospital, he will place me on a medical unit rather than a psych unit because he understands my fears. Sorry this happened to you!

Originally Posted by Can't Stop Crying

I also was traumatized in a hospital...it was twenty years ago but the fear never fades. As an adolescent I was placed on an adult ward, there was an offender there who often expressed his "interest" in me. I slept in restraints because I was considered a danger to myself. So I spent most nights tied to a bed waiting for this person to r*** me. Also, a lot of bad experiences with quiet rooms, being physically restrained, 4 point restraints, being held down and given shots....I could keep going but I don't want to hijack your thread. I just wanted you to know that I can relate and I understand. I currently have a plan with my doctor that if I need the safety of the hospital, he will place me on a medical unit rather than a psych unit because he understands my fears. Sorry this happened to you!

I'm so sorry this happened to you. And honest you wouldn't be hijacking my thread. In the end I am glad that I'm not alone in all this, although parts of me wish I were because of how terrible it ends up being.

The medical unit is the best thing I know, besides a trauma specific unit. I have also requested medical units. The staff aren't as overworked and have always been more understanding as far as psych issues. (which is odd). Some psych staff just become desensitized. But they just give me a 1:1 and it's where I get stabilized. If I need actual anything besides stabilization I would make the trip out of state to a trauma unit.

[Nammu]

LydiaB
I'm so sorry, and yet soo very glad you have an ACT team to go with you and deal with that. Saddly I have to say it sounds like you and I are not alone with traumatic hospitalizations. I freaked last time I went to one. I have a great therapist, but I wasn't sleeping too many nightmares kept waking me until I just quit trying to sleep. I too wasn't able to remember did I take my pills, yes, no, losing chunks of time, and then I had the first panic attack in years. It had been about 11years since my last time in a hospital. I feel like I failed and allowed what happened, happen becouse I went voluntarly. BUT no one should be treated or talked to the way I was. I started acting very irrational after I was put on the ward I just flashed back to the bad experances and wanted out and not one of them had any experence with PTSD and they would not call my psychologist. I could not call anyone becouse they did not have a tty or VP(I'm DEAF) I spent 3 and a half days of terror there they let me out only becouse I refused to take any of there medications and repeatedly said I wasn't suicidal, just tramitized(not compltly true but I would have said anything to get out of there). Lydia you are not alone.

[Hippie]

Sorry you were abused where you should have had help.
My trip to the psych unit began on a weekend so I never saw my own therapist just some guy with a heavy accent and being mostly deaf I had no idea what he said. No therapy other then coloring. How age appropriate is that!!! and yeah, that really works for PTSD. But at least I didn't go through your horror!! god

[Nammu]

Originally Posted by LydiaB

This happened to me too Cats. I did nothing wrong on a general ward. I dealt with an eating disorder at the time and refused to eat dinner if they were going to make me sit in a huge lounge afterwards, with a lot of other really sick people who frightened me and triggered my anxiety. After two meals of this, a nurse got so angry she called security, who restrained me, (fight or flight) and put me in a quiet room for three days. A blue mat on the floor with no windows. That time I was not forced drugs, because I would have gladly walked to the quiet room if they would have asked. But when 4-5 big men show up in my room. Fight or flight. So I fought and gladly took the anxiety meds by mouth. But those shots do hurt, and absolutely not necessary with PTSD. If more employees understood PTSD, they may understand escalation and de escalation. This is why I was given and ACT team. Because anytime I enter a hospital they have someone on call who accompanies you. I have been restrained so many times when not necessary, that only exasperated symptoms. So the ACT team, knows me, knows my history and knows how to de escalate versus escalation. It's fight or flight for someone with PTSD and when I'm really scared I've fought off large men in multiples, and broken restraints, going on adrenaline alone. But if they had never started the agitation process, it would have went much differently. However most people in psych wards are overworked and don't have the patience to "de escalate". They'd rather stick you and leave. I told my team that if I ever have to go inpatient again that I refuse to go anywhere that doesn't specialize.

That is such an accurate portrait of most hospitals and the extreme lack of insiste to PTSD and how hospitals make it worse. I so wish I could get an ACT team but I live in Texas, ranked 48th and about to drop to rock bottom affer Perry gets done cutting all financial suport to social ervices. I do have a legal PAD that outlines how hospitals are suposed to care for me, but in the end my best bet is to just stay as far away as I can and use my suport network.

[Nammu]

Hippi
Yeah coloring, my fav fall back when I'm locked up, takes me to a much more pleasent time. Do you have difficulties getting interpreters for services? I always feel like its such an up hill battle and sometimes I just give up. I don't talk it I can't understand and I don't take pills becouse I don't know what they are...of course that leads to other problems. But man it gets very exhasting to explain time after time, yes I can talk, but that doesn't mean I can hear, and no lip reading is not a replacement for terps! I've been told Dr's have an education and they need at least an average IQ to get though medical school, but I question that sometimes.
Good luck on your journing and thanks for the acknowledgment, tis nice to know theres others out there fighting the same battle of ignorant healthcare workers.

[Open Eyes]

I am very sorry for your bad experiences. I think that restraint procedure should be outlawed.

Don't they understand that in many cases of PTSD there is a history of restraint and that by doing so only causes more trauma?

I have to agree about the lack of knowledge in the Psych ward about PTSD. I have some misdiagnses on my records because obviously the Dr. who saw me didn't study PTSD and only disorders.

I also did not care for the fact that my family thought that I had to stay even when I begged to get out of there. Its all about DRUGS in that place. Kinda reminds me of when I was young and didn't want to take drugs and everyone made fun of me cause I didnt want to smoke a joint or do a line of cocaine or go out and get plastered drunk. Some of these people who made fun of me are now dead because of drugs.

Yes, I do understand that sometimes drugs can be helpful. But sometimes they do not help either. Especially when someone doesn't get the correct diagnosis.

[Nammu]

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

I am very sorry for your bad experiences. I think that restraint procedure should be outlawed.

Don't they understand that in many cases of PTSD there is a history of restraint and that by doing so only causes more trauma?

I have to agree about the lack of knowledge in the Psych ward about PTSD. I have some misdiagnses on my records because obviously the Dr. who saw me didn't study PTSD and only disorders.

I also did not care for the fact that my family thought that I had to stay even when I begged to get out of there. Its all about DRUGS in that place. Kinda reminds me of when I was young and didn't want to take drugs and everyone made fun of me cause I didnt want to smoke a joint or do a line of cocaine or go out and get plastered drunk. Some of these people who made fun of me are now dead because of drugs.

Yes, I do understand that sometimes drugs can be helpful. But sometimes they do not help either. Especially when someone doesn't get the correct diagnosis.

I'm curious, clearly you also din't do drugs, I didn't either, I relize two is not enough to make a leap to a theory, hence my question how many other PTSD people are there out there on this site who dont like or use drugs? I'm not talking abot a ocasional use for panic attacks, or anxity, but reagular use, of the heavy stuff and the illegal stuff? (Open Eye's I'm so sorry people were laughing at you for not joining in the drugs- I was fortanate, those I knew could not have cared less if I did or not, all the more for them)
I' personaly always hated it because it leaves me feeling vulnerable. Is this something other PSTD's also share(besides horror stories of hospitals?) I know there are some good hospitals but the common rule seems to be that most places don't know how to deal with PTSD, and theres not much of a choice in crisis. I'm seeing a trend of terrifieing hospital esperiences, over medicating, and way to much use of restraints and seclusion. Does this seem to be the case for most PTSD's? Can anyone enlighten me on how to change this for myself? For all of us? Does anyone have a good experence they can share? How they got help in a crisis, maybe not all of it was happy ever after but it wasn't terrible. How did that come to be?

[Hippie]

Sidestepper,
I laughed at your IQ queston of docs when they don't seem to get that one's hearing is off. I offered to wear a sign saying "Deaf" but would have to have it pinned on (no pins allowed as guess you can commit suicide with a pin) and no string to make it a necklace sign as string ranks up there with pins.
I say we make it mandatory for all docs/nurses/aides to understand some simple signs like, "coffee" for the a.m. and "I need a real blanket. This thin sheet isn't warm enough" for night. I'm sure you can come up with some others.
But you did give me a chuckle

[Open Eyes]

I am sorry to see so many bad experiences with hospitals but there was one good one and that person is now part of that system. Maybe we should find her and go to that hospital, even if we have to take a plane to get there.

In my experience I did not even know what PTSD was, never heard it but should have. I didn't even know what a trigger was and once I did know that explained a lot. I am not a spring chicken so I really get angry that I went so long without real help. And, my family didn't even know what PTSD was either.

I think there should be another disorder catagory called Current Traumatic Stess Disorder. Because I was experiencing current events that were clearly overwhelming me to the point that I had to go somewhere to get help. I have experienced many traumatic events in my life but never saw checking out altogether as an option until my Current Traumatic Stress happened.

I have a lot of anger for what I was put thru at my very weakest point in life. I have even more anger when I read other peoples bad experiences that were even worse than mine.

At least some of these other people knew they were addressing PTSD.
At least some of these other people knew what triggers were.

I have written a lot of angry letters that I never sent because somehow,
I thought the anger would show thru and the letter would only be dismissed as some letter from a sick mentally unstable person.

I can totally relate to you hippeabea with the pin and string and especially the flimsy blanket that was not warm at all. How is it that is can be written in books and journals that people in our state of mind feel very cold, tired, frightened, anxious, depressed, extremely guilty for feeling what we are feeling and need all the warmth, kindness, rest, and calming care that we can possibly get.

Every day I have that thought in the back of my head, some of that anger that just won't let go. I am so very moved by all the people here trying so hard to overcome their pain.

I have, all of my life, been determined to understand the pain of others, and my own pain. I took it very seriously and was determined to not just sit with it but to find a way to get through it and past it. And, I did motivate many other people that crossed my path. People that saw me gaining and doing and it encouraged them to do the same.

There has got to be a way to address how people at their weakest point can be addressed properly in a hospital. There has to be a way we can write our concerns about this, rattle a cage where the people who are in charge of these places will be forced to listen and aknowledge that something is not being handled right.

Who is it that sets the standards for treatment in these hospitals?
I think of Cyran0 and how he writes and condenses things into a product that will be understood and presented correctly. I wonder if we can somehow join together and express our experiences and how our needs were not met or understood and even caused us further trauma. Some message that is heard and not dismissed as coming from just a crazy person.

I wish we could go on 60 minutes and somehow show how we were all treated and how it was not right. How there really has to be a safe place for us. A place where if we get really bad again, we know we will be taken care of.

I almost don't want to talk about the bad experiences and make someone think that they have no place to go. I was prevented from not hurting myself but it could have been addressed so much better. And, I cannot say that all places are bad. But, I do recommend that one be aware of what they are dealing with so they can say it when they can't seem to deal another day.

Open Eyes

sidestepper- sorry I've been MIA. I have issues keeping up with threads I start, because I have horrible memory issues. But I'm very sorry you too had to be succumbed to this torture.

To answer your question, no I never have done drugs either. Not once, HATED them. And actually I've been denied treatment because of it. If you don't have a dual diagnosis boy it's like you don't have a mental illness at all sometimes. Couple that with being functional and wala! You don't get treatment appropriately.

And I too have come across people in psych wards who are deaf, or speak a different language and they are very poor at getting them translators. After like a month in the place they finally receive one!

And I wish they had ACT teams in your area. My ACT team is very knowledgeable about PTSD and I feel as if they should require adequate training and/or provide another trauma ACT team. It's just such a touchy diagnosis I cannot fathom how many people have been retraumatized by psychiatric institutions.

Open Eyes- I would go on something like 60 minutes. I get so nervous in front of crowds, but when I advocate for mental health it all disappears magically. I wouldn't do it to say "hey they suck, don't go there". It would be to open people's eyes and hopefully make a stand for a better treatment for PTSD and other mental illnesses.

Hippie- thank you for the support.

O i also wanted to answer your question about crisis and good experiences. I did have one recent good experience. The reason why I wrote this post. I went into an emergency room and I was completely dissociative. I was terrified, shaking. And usually when I walk into ERs like that it's a fail. They do things to torture me, just because I "piss" them off. This last time however I had my therapist with me, who advocated for me and I think that's what it looks like. Obviously when you are very sick you can't advocate for yourself. You probably need a family member or friend to do it for you. If you're not fortunate enough to have an ACT team, then you should have at least one person designated to help you out. They should be in the know of what is going on in your life and should have a strong voice.

Last time I went to that same hospital for medical reasons I started to dissociate just from being in a hospital. My ACT team was MIA, because my therapist was on vacation and we had a horrible case manager on my case, who has since left the program. I was very ill and my mom ended up standing up for me. I even had my family doctor as my doctor, but he wasn't around enough to really know what was going on. I am diagnosed with narcolepsy and I was so out of it that I couldn't tell them so, so everytime I had a cataplexy attack they thought at first I was having a seizure, then concluded I was faking it. When you have cataplexy attacks you are completely aware of what's going on around you. You just loose muscle tone. And the one of the medical assistance say "She was doing this last night in the ER, they said it was all fake, you know she has some psychiatric diagnosis". If my jaw could have dropped it would have. But in order to bring me out of my "fake seizure" they gave me sternum rubs. Which I could feel. But I couldn't wake up. All because they refused to check my file to see what it could be and just assumed I was an attention seeker.

My mom FREAKED. I have never seen her that upset. She's so docile and levelheaded. But don't mess with her kids apparently. She called my family doctor, made him come in. Called my team, called the head of the department and hospital. Contacted NAMI. She would have taken it to the governor if she had to. And for the rest of my stay all three days, I got class A treatment. I really don't feel that hospital will ever treat me like that again, and has taken a new perspective on mental health entirely.

All because I had an advocate. So that is my suggestion. Because funding for training isn't getting any better.

[splitimage]

I've been extremely fortunate in my psychiatric hospital stays. But my hospital is a huge teaching and reasearch hospital that is a WHO Centre of Excellence. I was lucky at the time I needed to be admitted the first time back in 07. My psychiatrist at the time was the clinical director of the women's inpatient unit. It was a ward for women only, who were in acute crisis who had trauma and or addiction histories. So I was admitted to that unit almost immediately. I was in there for 7 weeks. And yeah I hear you about the really thing blankets, there must be some universal supplier of crappy blankets for hospitals, but honestly there not much better when you're in for non-psych issues either. In the 7 weeks I was there, there was only 3 code whites on our unit, and out of the 3 incidences restraints were only used once.

The hospital has this whole big initiative that's been going on for the past couple of years on reducing the use of restraints and seclusion, using alternate methods of crisis resolution.

The last time I was in, which was for 4 weeks last summer, it was actually nice. I was in one of the new buildings (The hospital is in the middle of a total redevelopment) that are designed to be as unlike a psych hospital as possible. The unit had 4 floors with 6 beds on each floor. Everyone had a private bedroom and bathroom. We could even lock our doors. Still had the crappy blankets though.

And it's not like this hospital only deals with low risk patients or anything like that - if you're really F'd up in the city you eventually land at this hospital, they just really believe in client centered care.

They actually have a patient empowerment council that is actually listenned to that raises and addresses client's systemic concerns. Patients also sit on the hospital's governing committees. I know because I'm a patient rep on a committee.

I'm just posting this to show that there are good psych hospitals that do get trauma.

If you have a bad hospital experience find out if there's a patient advocate or right's office. Write letters to the CEO. If no one complains the system will never change.

But whoever said that yeah you need someone advocating for you is absolutely right. I'm lucky, I'm white, highly educated, English is my first language, I have a pretty strong understanding of what my patient rights are, a pretty strong understanding of the legal definition of duty of care, and I'm not afraid to raise a fuss to get care. I also know how to work the system. As a result I'm getting top notch care. But I see everyday how people who don't have my advantages, get screwed over by the system that's supposed to help them.

And if you think psych hospitals don't get trauma, you should see the sorry state of rehabs that don't understand or aren't willing to deal with mental illness. It's slowly changing but if you have a concurrent disorder, which also statsitcally means most likely means you have also have a trauma background, you're pretty much SOL for getting proper treatment. That's my pet peeve.

--splitimage

[Hippie]

Splitimage, I hear what you're saying about speaking up if conditions warrant a complaint. I'm hesitant because I think the person reading a letter would just say "Oh, another crazy person---" Glad somebody has had a good experience.
I watch Dr. Phil and he always says he's an avocate for the mentally ill but I haven't caught a show where he actually addressed some of the problems I'm reading here. Maybe I missed it. Sixty Minutes would scare me. Wish I were brave.

[Merlin]

I have never had a traumatic experience in the hospital and the only time I was restrained was a valid reason. I was hitting my family, the nurses and then, when confronted, the doctor. It doesn't matter though, how I was treated, I have never been able to be admitted voluntarily because the loss of control on the ward triggers my PTSD.

"I have never been able to be admitted voluntarily because the loss of control on the ward triggers my PTSD."

Yes Merlin, I hear you. Some of my restraints were necessary, because I was hurting myself, because of the loss of control. But others were just ridiculously not. And those are the ones I fear most. Also the ones that were necessary were usually brought on my staff members not knowing how to deescalate from the very beginning.

splitimage

advocating is one of my favorite things to do! It's something I progressed a lot on.

In my very last hospitalization I had a staff member tell me "NO you can't have a lysol wipe, if you ask again I'm going to call the doctor and he'll 302 you here got it?" Instead of freaking out. I looked her straight in her thick eyeliner caked eyes and said "I'm not stupid you know. A doctor can't 302 me for asking for a lysol wipe. Secondly if you called that doctor at midnight to tell him I asked for a lysol wipe, you'd be 302ed here. And another thing, don't try and manipulate me, because I swear to god I will personally see to it that you never walk through those doors again." She just hmphed and I walked away. The next day I was up on a medical floor.

The hard part is doing it when my small ones are present.

[Hippie]

LydiaB,
You were right to confront that nurse and I think mighty brave. People like that shouldn't be caring for other people, no matter what dept they're in.

I agree Hippie, they really shouldn't. Out of all the jobs out there, psych is not something you just go into because you can't find another job. It's something that people need PATIENCE for.

[Nammu]

Wow its nice to hear some good news about hospitals now. There was a time, in a different state, MN when I had a great Dr, she always put me on a unit for trama and stress diagnosis. Yeah it was mostly women and about, 8 individual rooms and 8 double rooms, all of them had phones for each bed, for me they would get a TTY, the best part was the recliners, if we started stressing out, we had many options. We were in charge of de-stressing, in charge of ourselfs! (it was a learning experence, I think it may have also been a teaching hospital?-thats part of what they taught us) one of our options was to excuse ourselves if we had enough control or we could just get up and go to our room and put music on(I can hear a bit and love jazz, no vocals) W/ headphones. When a staff saw signs of decompensation they would point it out, or after a big melt down they played 200 questions; what was the last thing you remember; when was the last moment that you were still in control; what were you feeling at that moment; what was realy happening vs what you saw in your head, or felt; were you realy in phsical danger, ect,... then you learned your own triggers and how to deal with them.
But then the hospital wanted more money and faster turn over and that unit was gone. This year when I walked into that last hospital I had been put on the wrong medication(for a medical problem) and had the first panic attack in years. I walked in expecting it to be the same as it was(in years gone by--), I looked normal, but both my Pdoc and my insurence said go, so I did. But when I told the paramilatarty gaurds that no I wasn't a visitor , they couldn't grab my tea out of my hand fast enough! Just fast, angery movment, it triggered me, and cought me compltly of gaurd. Man what a trip.
Like (I'm so sorry I forgot you name, a couple posts back) I'm white, well educated but a horrible typer with nerve problems in my hands, but I'm also on a advocacy and protection board for disability rights. When I got out, my first call was to advocacy Inc, they got the call and the hospital was investigated for dissablity access and patient rights violations. There were a ton of violations and their traing (re-traing?) continues.
They didn't believe me, that I had a voice. I'm feeling a lot better knowing I was right,( sometimes I think maybe it was just me, they were right, I don't know what I'm doing), that anyone going there now will be treated better and any Deaf person will have access to the outside and can call anyone they want. Sometimes the ablity to make even a small change helps me feel that whatever I've experenced has some worth--not that I believe I deserved it or that anyone deserves to be treated badly, ever, for any reason, but especialy not because of something chemical and biological that is called a mental illness and negitivly labeled instead of simply another medical diagnosis.
It really hits me now the disparity in how I'm treated when I have to go to the ER for my medical (real) problems and how I get treated when they know I have a "label" With the label anyting I say is subject to doubt & suspection, but for my medical problems, I'm told how intelligently I'm dealing with it, I'm listened to, the differance is greater than matter vs antimatter. It never stops amazing me. I truly beleive the change has to start with Doctors, med schools and pharmCo$$$ and their attitudes and the media, before we can truly change the whole mental health hospitalization experence to be positive for every one.
AND YEAH. Whats up with the razor thin bed covers?
I forgot who started this thread, but really cool props to you. Good stuff on this thread!

Originally Posted by sidestepper

Wow its nice to hear some good news about hospitals now. There was a time, in a different state, MN when I had a great Dr, she always put me on a unit for trama and stress diagnosis. Yeah it was mostly women and about, 8 individual rooms and 8 double rooms, all of them had phones for each bed, for me they would get a TTY, the best part was the recliners, if we started stressing out, we had many options. We were in charge of de-stressing, in charge of ourselfs! (it was a learning experence, I think it may have also been a teaching hospital?-thats part of what they taught us) one of our options was to excuse ourselves if we had enough control or we could just get up and go to our room and put music on(I can hear a bit and love jazz, no vocals) W/ headphones. When a staff saw signs of decompensation they would point it out, or after a big melt down they played 200 questions; what was the last thing you remember; when was the last moment that you were still in control; what were you feeling at that moment; what was realy happening vs what you saw in your head, or felt; were you realy in phsical danger, ect,... then you learned your own triggers and how to deal with them.
But then the hospital wanted more money and faster turn over and that unit was gone. This year when I walked into that last hospital I had been put on the wrong medication(for a medical problem) and had the first panic attack in years. I walked in expecting it to be the same as it was(in years gone by--), I looked normal, but both my Pdoc and my insurence said go, so I did. But when I told the paramilatarty gaurds that no I wasn't a visitor , they couldn't grab my tea out of my hand fast enough! Just fast, angery movment, it triggered me, and cought me compltly of gaurd. Man what a trip.
Like (I'm so sorry I forgot you name, a couple posts back) I'm white, well educated but a horrible typer with nerve problems in my hands, but I'm also on a advocacy and protection board for disability rights. When I got out, my first call was to advocacy Inc, they got the call and the hospital was investigated for dissablity access and patient rights violations. There were a ton of violations and their traing (re-traing?) continues.
They didn't believe me, that I had a voice. I'm feeling a lot better knowing I was right,( sometimes I think maybe it was just me, they were right, I don't know what I'm doing), that anyone going there now will be treated better and any Deaf person will have access to the outside and can call anyone they want. Sometimes the ablity to make even a small change helps me feel that whatever I've experenced has some worth--not that I believe I deserved it or that anyone deserves to be treated badly, ever, for any reason, but especialy not because of something chemical and biological that is called a mental illness and negitivly labeled instead of simply another medical diagnosis.
It really hits me now the disparity in how I'm treated when I have to go to the ER for my medical (real) problems and how I get treated when they know I have a "label" With the label anyting I say is subject to doubt & suspection, but for my medical problems, I'm told how intelligently I'm dealing with it, I'm listened to, the differance is greater than matter vs antimatter. It never stops amazing me. I truly beleive the change has to start with Doctors, med schools and pharmCo$$$ and their attitudes and the media, before we can truly change the whole mental health hospitalization experence to be positive for every one.
AND YEAH. Whats up with the razor thin bed covers?
I forgot who started this thread, but really cool props to you. Good stuff on this thread!

sidestepper I am glad you advocated for yourself! It doesn't happen often enough. But it's hard when they make people feel like such scum. Or that we are not intelligent/strong/capable enough to advocate for ourselves. It just revictimizes. It's pretty crappy. It's taking advantage of a situation.

You have made me want to look into bringing stuff against certain hospitals. Not lawsuits, but investigations. Particularly the one that injected me multiple times to aggravate me. Back then (in 2008) PTSD was just a label. I didn't even realize the stuff that I was doing was connected at all. When asked my diagnosis I would say "major depression and PTSD" but I just repeated what doctors told me I was. I didn't even know how to help myself, so doctors should have been responsible enough not to make it worse.

[Nammu]

Lydia, you are right the Dr's should know enough to treat you right. If you want someone to look into a hospitals practices that don't seem right try looking for a local Disabilities Rights organization, or Advocacy Inc, is a nother name they go by. The hospital will not know who asked for the investigation. If you come from someplace that has a local info line like 211 they could help you too. Good luck what ever you decide.