Another bad experience on a job and my PTSD is raging.

I have been used again by several people on the job. And, I have lost the battle. The rage inside me is awful. I want to die. This is the 3rd of 4 jobs where this has happened. I want to die.

I must have the word victim on my back somewhere. I have been victimized since I was young. I am deeply scarred. There is no reason to have hope anymore - it's a waste of energy.

I have no friends. I no longer believe in god. I don't know how to fight back. I am tired of being used and tossed as if I were garbage.

It looks like I will have to spend a second beautiful day indoors. Yesterday, I slept off some of my anxiety. That is, I slept all afternoon.

Today, I have to stay indoors to mentally prepare for work tomorrow. It's going to be a tough day. My boss graded me harshly (and unfairly) to human resources. Now, I stand no chance whatsoever of being hired as a permanent employee. Also, they brought in a female temp who would start arguments with me and then blame me for them. This is the new form of liberated woman who mistreat men and them blame them if they object to being mistreated or badly spoken to. It's a mean game. You cannot say anything in response no matter what they say or do. I said nothing mean or rude, like she did on numerous occasions. Yet, I was painted as the bad guy. Violent thoughts cross my mind all day - my man mind seeking revenge. And, I have to bury them. This fuels my PTSD. I hate my life.

Your not alone. I can relate. It's a dog eat dog world out there. Very competitive and filled with back stabbers and chest stabbers. Personally I prefer the chest stabbers because you can see it coming.

I've always worked in a professional environment and naturally that is ripe for back stabbers and sharks. That women can be as dirty and mean as men should not surprise you, in fact they can be even more vicious in leadership roles.

It's hard, very hard. Luckily I now work over nite so I am spared of most of the focking drama that is present during the day. It is the drama that brings you down too. Try to get in a position were there are less people. The fewer the people, the fewer the drama, the better you will feel!

I'm sorry that you're feeling so hopeless and enraged, unhappyguy.

I can understand your hopelessness. Are you on anti-depressants and working with a T? It sounds like you really need to reach out for more help. Maybe trying a new med, a different dosage, something needs a change. Talking with your T more often, or perhaps trying a different style is necessary to help you through this intense low. In my experience, hopelessness is the very bottom. There is no other way to go but up!

Please reach out for help now. Call a hotline and talk about your experience and resulting emotions. Their support can be really helpful in desperate times! 1-800-273-8255 Or try CrisisChat - Home

I'm so sad for your situation, i hope you can see a T and doc too if you want, nobody deserves to be stabbed anywhere.

I am reaching out - reluctantly. I know what I will be told - again - to forget about and get on with my life. I am considering filing a gender bias, ethnic bias and management neglect of abuse / bullying of me by another employee against my current employer even though I am only a temp. I am going to start working on it tonight.

I'm not gonna tell you what to do or how to think. But I hope your at least aware that as a temp the company doesn't even need a reason to get rid of you.

Good for you! There are so many times when i should have stood up for myself and didn't. I don't regret that the persons that wronged me weren't punished or that i didn't win oodles of money in lawsuit. I just regret that i didn't square my shoulders, hold my head up and say, " this was wrong. I didn't deserve tus and no ine else now or in the future should be treated like this. "

Ps. I'm very sorry that people treated you so badly.

Being an employee in these times in any company is no guarantee for continued employment. Whether you are a contracted worker or not. However, there are Federal and state laws that are designed to protect all people that are legally and legitimately employed.

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Many states are "at will"; however, it does not excuse them from breaking the law.