[jadedbutterfly]

is making me crazier than usual
I cannot seem to escape this jumping out of my seat at any loud//out of the ordinary sound.
Been grounding myself a lot... but it's not enough.
Any tricks/tools that help you?

[A Red Panda]

I laugh at myself when it comes to my startle response. I used to feel really embarassed (and well... still do sometimes) when people would comment on just how jumpy I am. So... I laugh. I laugh and it's usually nervous for a split second but then I calm down.

I'm also really hypervigilant about "changes" in someone's behaviour/tone/whatnot. I just try to remind myself that chances are, they're just tired or preoccupied or something and that it has nothing to do with me. (hahahaha. I say that. But I often fail at believing it!)

[Auntie2014]

Being hypervigilant is exhausting. What i have learned is that when I am feeling overwhelmed I need to find a place where I can narrow down my vigilant zone.

Think of your vigilant zone as a big circle with you in the center. You need to be aware of everything going on in every direction. If you are getting overwhelmed how can you make the circle smaller. For me that might be finding a corner so it cuts the area down to 1/4 the size it was. Or it could be going to my car if I am out shopping. At home I go to my room and close the door. Sometimes I do what I call putting on my blinders. I put my hands up to the sides of my head so I can not see as much of what is around me. (Like the blinders they put on race horses.) It gives me a way to concentrate my line of vision long enough to get me to a more comfortable place where I can do what I need to do to ground myself.

In my case most of my triggers are audio or visual so these work for me. I suggest you try to figure out what is triggering you and how you can reduce your vigilant zone for those triggers.

I hope this makes sense.

[A Red Panda]

Auntie:

I totally do the corner thing. I need to have myself against the wall when I'm somewhere - movie theatres, lecture halls, restaurants. I tend to need at least one side of me to not have to worry about (so in planes, I need the window seat).

Surprisingly, I do well in crowds. I think I've learned how to make them a big blur - if there's sooooo many people moving about everywhere, then I think I just count them as part of the scenery. Except for the people in my immediate vicinity.

Like... I can sit at tables and stuff where my back isn't to the wall. But I get rather nervous and will not be very focused on the conversation or people I'm sitting with.

[elevatedsoul]

i like sitting in a cool dark closet also hate and love hyper-vigilance, if only it wasnt so exuasting

Being hypervigilant is exhausting. What i have learned is that when I am feeling overwhelmed I need to find a place where I can narrow down my vigilant zone.

Think of your vigilant zone as a big circle with you in the center. You need to be aware of everything going on in every direction. If you are getting overwhelmed how can you make the circle smaller. For me that might be finding a corner so it cuts the area down to 1/4 the size it was. Or it could be going to my car if I am out shopping. At home I go to my room and close the door. Sometimes I do what I call putting on my blinders. I put my hands up to the sides of my head so I can not see as much of what is around me. (Like the blinders they put on race horses.) It gives me a way to concentrate my line of vision long enough to get me to a more comfortable place where I can do what I need to do to ground myself.

In my case most of my triggers are audio or visual so these work for me. I suggest you try to figure out what is triggering you and how you can reduce your vigilant zone for those triggers.

I hope this makes sense.

[JadeAmethyst]

I must agree, hypervigilant IS exhausting, I find crowds, noisy restaurants really challenging. I sit so I can face the door (exit) or a window facing outdoors helps too. I also agree with Red Panda about the airplane window seat, it is much more preferable for me also.
Jade

[Auntie2014]

Originally Posted by JadeAmethyst

I must agree, hypervigilant IS exhausting, I find crowds, noisy restaurants really challenging. I sit so I can face the door (exit) or a window facing outdoors helps too. I also agree with Red Panda about the airplane window seat, it is much more preferable for me also.
Jade

Back to the wall when out to eat is so much a habit that i did not even think of it. If I am in a room for a meeting with a group I need to be able to see the door and a clear path to it. It has been years since I have been in a movie or a plane but when I used them I needed to be on the isle so I can "escape" if needed.

[avlady]

Escaping the situation is the deal for me. I need to know i have a way to get out in case of fire or other scarry situations. Even going to the bathroom too is important for me as i have bad kidneys.

[Rosondo]

Originally Posted by jadedbutterfly

is making me crazier than usual
I cannot seem to escape this jumping out of my seat at any loud//out of the ordinary sound.
Been grounding myself a lot... but it's not enough.
Any tricks/tools that help you?

I'm sorry and I'm quite familiar with that. Doing anything that distracts you from scanning the environment helps. Anything as simple as eating something delicious or listening to music or my preference which is doing some physical activity that calms you. Or just change your environment. I was feeling like that and went shopping to a place nearby and felt better.

[jadedbutterfly]

Originally Posted by JadeAmethyst

I must agree, hypervigilant IS exhausting, I find crowds, noisy restaurants really challenging. I sit so I can face the door (exit) or a window facing outdoors helps too. I also agree with Red Panda about the airplane window seat, it is much more preferable for me also.
Jade

I do the same, every time I have to go out to eat, some kind of gathering, I also have to be where I can see the door and get out quickly if need be. Can't do airplanes because of my ear, but I can't ride buses (the thought of someone sitting beside me their arm touching me... being stuck ) so I definitely couldn't handle airplanes for that reason as well.
Saw my T Friday, she suggested something I hadn't heard before to try to change the way I am thinking. She said to do things with my left hand ( I'm a righty ), This takes so much concentration that it seems to be taking over my subconscious freak outs.
Thank you all for your suggestions... I really appreciate them all

[ResaLock]

I have actually tried to go against when I realized some of my behaviors. I did some thing I was not even aware of doing. ...I also realized at later times that I was so tensed a lot of the day. I have tried changing it when I go out. ..but it would not last long. I think if I were persistent about it though I could change some things. I would tell myself its ok because I makes me feel more comfortable and safer...and there is nothing wrong with that. REALLY???
Like another said...ITS EXHAUSTING...I use more energy tiring myself out always being like this.

I am more sensitive to sounds, bangs, thumps. Even soft thumps like people walking. To a extent I do not think its bad being hypervigilant. The senses are up and your more aware. Its a good thing...but I think we have to be more in control and need to find a way to relax.
I cannot change things about sound. I have tried in every way shape or form. Even shifting my mind and thoughts to loud sounds etc.

If this happens...nothing you can do about it...its a damage in the nerves. Its like a wound it hurts.
I find myself standing on the outskirts of places if I would go to a local event or place where there is much activity.

I have had unexpected people walk up on me and I bout to jump out of my skin...my heart actually hurt as is was racing beyond its limits. People have done it jokingly and it sent me into tears, as I tried to conceal them. I try to just laugh it off and joke about it and tell them jokingly they can't do that...they say sorry yada yada ya...
but its just before that point of reaching a panic terror but not going there...

The only thing I know ...these things taking place are temporary. It does take a tole on the body though...and it is exhausting.
When you get back or can find a place. Just give yourself permission that its ok to rest and relax your body. Even if you have to go somewhere else because the chaos is at home.

[ResaLock]

short note:

Don't restrict yourself....that is what we do that makes us to tense and keeps us that way...

give yourself permission ...permission to find places of ease and quietness.
If you cannot at home...find other places...library, museums, safe open places in parks with no noise distractions (note some parks can be dangerous)

religious or NOT...just use places where you know its going to be quiet. I'm not catholic...but I have used their building because the doors were open a lot of the time and its quiet...
you can use it for anything... against it or for it....it does not matter...its a quiet building and their doors are mostly open most of the time...

(sorry not making this a religious discussion) hope you get my point...

so my point is...Do not ground yourself and restrict yourself....you will do that into a corner... I know I do...then I got to say...NO I have to give myself permission and safe places