Why Do I Freeze Up When I See Certain Things?

<font color="#000088">I know when I was abused my abuser raped me with certain objects,before himself,but why do I freeze up when I see those certain objects now as an adult.Thier very common objects,but I freeze up when I see them,and sometimes I'll start having a panic attack over it! A few months ago,my brother,who was the abuser put one of those objects in my mailbox,just to harrass me,for fun! I let the neighbor kid have it for camping!But he put it there on purpose,it felt like he was abusing me again,but emotionally! </font>

Justice,
I'm so sorry...you felt like he was abusing you again because he WAS (not yelling, I'm so angry he'd do that to you).

My story is quite a bit different, but my older brother also abused me (we were left to live together in various homes after our folks died)...this was persistent and went on for a few years. Fast forward to when he broke his neck in a car accident --- he's a quadraplegic now, I know he can't hurt me anymore or my kids, but it's my family who is abusive now: My family set me up to be the one legally to take care of his housing stuff...

[[[ sigh ]]] my family knows what he has done, but becuase he's in the wheelchair my life doesn't mean anything to them and it's all about keeping him out of a care facility.

not meaning to highjack this thread, Justice, but I know what it's like having Triggers lurk around a corner unexpectedly...

...my eldest son looks like my brother, that one bothers me the most. once in awhile I'll walk by him and just jolt - until I remember it's my precious boy.

take care

<font color="green"> No,I totally understand what your saying.I'll be at the store,cause this brother lives in my same town right now,until I get the hell out of this State,and back to the BEACH!! I always uppercase beach,because I love it so much,and miss it more than anything,other than my Dad,ofcourse! But back to the store thing,I'll be shopping and I'll see some guy that looks like my brother,and I totally freeze and have to do a double,and triple take,sometimes I'll hide around the isle,and just wait for him to turn around enough for me to see him well enough,just to be sure! It scares the hell out of me!He could be living a block away for all I know,my family won't let me know his address,just that he lives in this town.But since he got away with all his sex offences,he's not on the sex-offenders list,so I can't get his location off that.But if he's able to put something in my mailbox without my puppy barking at a car pulling up,and one of my brothers almost breaking down my side door at 1:30 in the morning just to scare me,a few months ago,on foot,then later recognized by a neighbor,as the man who tried to knock down my door,while walking down another street,he could be very close,within walking distance! I've seen his truck drive by my apartment more times than I can count,and I always thought he just did it to intimidate me,until I found that _____in my mailbox!</font>

<font color="#000088"> Now,my neighbor that is harrassing me is having the neighbor kid play with the thing I gave him from the mailbox,right in front of me,just to hurt me,because she used to be a good friend awhile ago,and she knows about it,and why I gave it to him!!! IT'S A DAMN KNIFE!! Sorry mods.I had to get it out!! </font>

(((((( Justice ))))))))

I am sure that it is very hard for you to see that. I'm just wondering if all of the people involved know that it bothers you so much? What would they be getting out of tormenting you like this that would make it worth their time and effort to do it? Quite often there is a tendency to assume that people are doing things intentionally just to hurt you, when not all of them are. Leaving the knife in your mailbox was pretty ugly of your brother. Siblings are cruel sometimes, and I am sorry that he is like that. But maybe the neighbor doesn't realize how this hurts you. I don't know, but what if you told her that you really can't deal with seeing that knife? I'm assuming that the kid is old enough to be responsible with knives? Maybe you could also ask him just not to play with it where you can see.

There is a balance between being paranoid about people's intentions and giving too much benefit of the doubt, and I struggle with that balance too. I might be wobbling from one edge to the other, and confused about which edge I'm on, so please don't think that I am trying to make light of your situation. I just wonder if you might have a similar tendency, and if it might be easier for you if you can believe that most people around you are not intentionally trying to hurt you.

BTW, it makes perfect sense that you are triggered by an object that was used to hurt you. It reminds you of what happened in the past, right? What you can do about that is keep reminding yourself that it was in the past and is not happening now. You didn't have control back then, but now you do and it isn't going to happen again.

TC,
Rap

<font color="#000088"> There is only 2 neighbors here that are harrassing me,it's a small building.The neighbor that told the boy to go get the knife used to be a close friend when she first moved in,and we shared our deepest secrets.And I told her about the knife,and it's not just any knife,it's a red swiss army knife.But ever since she found out that her DR.,which happens to be my best friend was going to be moving,and that she was going to have to get a new Dr.,she decided to take it out on me,because of jealousy issues,she introduced us in the beginning! So ever since she found out she got a new job,out of state,she has been doing and saying the cruelest things to me,even posting some of my personal issues on MySpace,I closed my account over the harrassment there!So she knows what I go through when I see those certain objects,and she told that neighborkid to go get it,and play with it just to torture me,while the other neighbor was yelling at me,while she stood in her doorway and smiled about it,then joined in with the yelling!
She knew exactly what she was doing,and 2 weeks ago I got a call from a friend from MySpace,that informed me that she had posted in my old group,that I had a "thing" for little boys! I e-mailed the moderator and had the topic deleted!I was one of the moderators of that group,and had made some good friends in that group,that I'm still in contact with.She was making an attempt to sabatage my friendships there to! Ofcourse it didn't work because my friends know me,and they know that I wouldn't do something like that! But she's very decietful,and manipulative,and she lies a lot,she even makes up conversations that didn't even exist,and tells people about them,just rying to make whoever she's mad at look bad!She's a real piece of work!But she's taking out the fact of her Dr./friend moving out on me,out of jealousy,just because she spent more time with me,we just happen to click, personalities you know?!
That's how I know it was intentional! </font>

<font color="#000088"> I had an idea on how to get my neighbor to stop getting the neighbor kid to play with the knife in front of me.If it happens again, next time I'll just tell the neighbor kid that I'm glad he is enjoying the knife I gave him,and that he likes it so much.
Then the neighbor will be so mad that it didn't hurt me like she had planned, she won't have him take it out anymore, she'll know she has no more ammunition to use against me,she's done,she can't do anything,or say anything! It'll be funny watching her stew over her loss of control! </font>

Sounds like a plan. Neighbors really can make your life miserable, and I don't know that they intend to, but they probably have issues too and aren't thinking about anyone else. I can't see how it could make them feel better to torment or stir up trouble for the people around them. I've got an issue with a neighbor too, and it is the hardest thing for me to let go of it and not take everything personally. I think that just makes it worse though.

I wish you well.

Rap

<font color="#000088"> About a week and a half ago,she was trying to get the new neighbor that moved in right next door to me to think that I was a big liar,and I made up a lot of things,and that she's never lied about anything. Trying to turn her against me so I wouldn't be able to make friends with her, before she could.
She didn't know we had already become accuanted,and she happened to like me already.And she had told me when we were getting accuanted that what bothers her are people that throw fits over nothing.
So since she was trying to make me out as a liar,I calmly asked her what I had ever lied about,and she just said,"you know",and I said,"I don't know what I've ever lied about,but I do know about yours,the things you told me that our friend(her Dr.)that moved to Colorado said about me,I asked her if she said those things,and she denied saying anything of the sort,and that you were just trying to stir up bad feelings for me,because you were jealous of our friendship. So you do lie.
She threw a fit in the next door neighbors apt.and slammed her door. So she lost that one. That neighbor likes me, and tries to steer clear of the other one now.I was telling the truth,and she knew it,or she would have said prove it,but she knew I had proof,on my e-mails back and forth from our friend.So she went nuts!She asked for that one,by trying to peg me as the liar,when it's actually her.
But she's leaving me alone for now,and I'm happy with my Nico,and my Ice Cream! </font>