[hopeless_guy]

I went through a lot of sexual and physical abuse as a kid and I am 25 now and EMDR therapy seems to be my last and only option at this time as years and years of behavior and talk therapy have been thrown out the window as they were non effective. I am starting to give up hope on having a normal life again because I can't seem to go a day without something triggering a trauma for me.

Yesterday I was getting my haircut and this little boy asked his mom for a candy bar from the vending machine and when she said no he threw a fit and started crying and that triggered a trauma for me. But when I am at the therapists office trying to recreate these memories like she asks me to so we can get the traumatic feelings to return nothing happens. It has been one month and I feel exactly the same today as the first day I ever walked in her office and she knows this because I have told her.

She has over 20 years experience and I read great reviews about her online but nothing. I hate having to constantly change therapists here it is stating to frustrate me more as the days go by. What do I do here and why is this "EMDR" treatment not working for me whatsoever?

[kaliope]

hi hopeless guy
I am sorry that you are struggling so in finding a solution. I have seen such good results with emdr. does your therapist offer an explanation? I spent the last three years in therapy and didn't get much of anywhere either. turns out he didn't even have me diagnosed correctly as I have dissociative disorder as well. I now am with a therapist who specializes in that who does emdr and hypnotherapy. my anxiety has been greatly reduced so far but we are only beginning to work thru the trauma. she said it would take years. I hope it starts to work for you soon. welcome to psych central. you will find we have several forums where you can post about your concerns and receive feedback from other members. you will get a lot of support here. again, welcome

[hopeless_guy]

Originally Posted by kaliope

hi hopeless guy
I am sorry that you are struggling so in finding a solution. I have seen such good results with emdr. does your therapist offer an explanation? I spent the last three years in therapy and didn't get much of anywhere either. turns out he didn't even have me diagnosed correctly as I have dissociative disorder as well. I now am with a therapist who specializes in that who does emdr and hypnotherapy. my anxiety has been greatly reduced so far but we are only beginning to work thru the trauma. she said it would take years. I hope it starts to work for you soon. welcome to psych central. you will find we have several forums where you can post about your concerns and receive feedback from other members. you will get a lot of support here. again, welcome

Thank you kaliope for taking the time to respond back to my post. It has been hard and a long battle for me since I was growing up as a kid. I am 25 years old now and have been doing all sorts of therapy since I was just a kid on and off. Talk therapy seems to have been the worst because all they do is talk about your problems and it never really addresses how to fix the issues you have dealt with in your life.

My therapist is not offering much of explanation at this time because as far as she is concerned therapy is working but probably taking time to unveil itself to me with results. She told me that the way this works is generally she gives a person 3 months when they start doing the emdr and if by then the person has not seen any results or the results are too little then she will re-evaluate me to see where I am at and if emdr is really the best approach for my situation and if it is then she will try once more but perhaps a different approach to emdr.

She told me that sometimes these things take time but in one month of doing this I would like to think I could have at least a starting point of change but it gets so frustrating when I walk in the door to her office and leave exactly the same way I walked in. She wants me to remember the traumas and try to focus on them so I can recreate and feel the same exact traumatic emotions this way the emdr can help me process the trauma and help me to relax this trauma from my past.

The issue I have is that upon thinking of the traumas I don't actually manage to regain the trauma emotions I had at the time of the trauma because the only way for me personally to regain said emotions would be to go through the trauma all over again or have it happening to me. The thoughts of what happened alone are not enough to make me traumatized it's when I am faced with similar situations in public places with other people that I feel trauma if that makes sense. I thank you your kind response to me and for taking the time to read through this.

I've done EMDR weekly for about six months, then a break because I was too unstable, and I recently started again but then inpatient (inpatient for a week, 14 hours EMDR in 4 days. I'll go again for two and a half weeks starting July 21th). I didn't make any progress in the first six months, but I did make some in that one week. The therapy is getting a little easier and the nightmares don't haunt my days all day anymore, just most of the day and all of the night.

[Open Eyes]

Have you tried DBT?

I have never done EMDR, but it sounds like you are only disassociating during those sessions, if that is the case, of course the EMDR won't work.

[Werewoman]

I've had EMDR off and on for years. In the beginning, it started off slow for me, too. After a while I started noticing little things, like words or smells associated with the trauma after the EMDR session didn't bother me anymore, whereas before and under the right circumstances, I could be triggered into outright rage by those same words and smells.

Also, I know your therapist is well experienced, but who is setting the tempo and what form are you using? Some therapists use moving lights, moving two fingers, alternating sounds through headphones, and/or small vibrating devices held in the palms of your hands. For instance, I've done it with alternating sounds, but never lights or moving fingers. I prefer a very fast tempo (both therapists I have done this with have commented that I choose a faster tempo than their other patients - I don't know why I need the faster tempo). Lately, I've found using the headphones and the hand devices simultaneously and keeping my eyes closed helps the most. What's weird is that my eyes move back and forth anyway even though they are closed.

Please don't give up. EMDR has been a Godsend for me and many other people I know. Of course, it doesn't work for anyone - no treatment does, but things that used to send me into a tailspin I can now think about without, well, going into a tailspin. It creates more of an emotional sore spot where a gaping wound used to be.

[hopeless_guy]

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

Have you tried DBT?

I have never done EMDR, but it sounds like you are only disassociating during those sessions, if that is the case, of course the EMDR won't work.

Hi there. What is DTB? I have never tried that. One thing I have noticed in my sessions is that I seem to be I don't want to say distracted but when she tells me to focus it is hard for me to focus on the image of what happened. But I will be sure to see this DTB and see if it helps thank you for sharing

[hopeless_guy]

Originally Posted by Werewoman

I've had EMDR off and on for years. In the beginning, it started off slow for me, too. After a while I started noticing little things, like words or smells associated with the trauma after the EMDR session didn't bother me anymore, whereas before and under the right circumstances, I could be triggered into outright rage by those same words and smells.

Also, I know your therapist is well experienced, but who is setting the tempo and what form are you using? Some therapists use moving lights, moving two fingers, alternating sounds through headphones, and/or small vibrating devices held in the palms of your hands. For instance, I've done it with alternating sounds, but never lights or moving fingers. I prefer a very fast tempo (both therapists I have done this with have commented that I choose a faster tempo than their other patients - I don't know why I need the faster tempo). Lately, I've found using the headphones and the hand devices simultaneously and keeping my eyes closed helps the most. What's weird is that my eyes move back and forth anyway even though they are closed.

Please don't give up. EMDR has been a Godsend for me and many other people I know. Of course, it doesn't work for anyone - no treatment does, but things that used to send me into a tailspin I can now think about without, well, going into a tailspin. It creates more of an emotional sore spot where a gaping wound used to be.

Thank you for your kind response. The kind of treatment she uses with EMDR was the one where she puts those vibrating things in the palm of your hands. She never tried the flashing lights and I never saw any such device in her office but I know what it looks like as I saw a video online demonstrating how it works. But she did however mention it to me and said that the light is a form of EMDR treatment as I had brought it up to her during one of our sessions.

It's just for me it is hard to recreate images when I can't really remember what happened to me as a kid. Like I'll sit on the phone for an hour and talk to my mother who tells me everything that happened to me as a kid and it goes in one ear and out the other because I do not recall any memories from the abuse that she tells me I had happened to me. If she said someone did something to me like I still don't remember which makes it hard. The therapist says sometimes random images relating to the trauma come up that I might not have been remembering or thinking about before but so far no new images have come up. I sometimes get frustrated but I know I won't give up hope I keep trying again

[Werewoman]

I find it helps to focus on what I was feeling not so much on what was happening during the traumatic event.

Example: My dad left the family when I was 5. I don't remember anything at all about it except something about him being on a business trip to which I eventually figured out he wasn't going to ever return. I had this 'sinking' feeling in my gut from then on, but it wasn't until I focused on that event in terms of how I felt - focused on that 'sinking' feeling - during an EMDR session that I realized that 'sinking' feeling was the realization that my safe parent had left me with the scary one. At age 5, I couldn't articulate it, but as an adult, with the help of EMDR, I could. What I found fascinating about it was how the words that came to mind as "my safe parent had left me with the scary one' like a child would speak instead of something like "I was scared and upset because my dad made me feel safe and without him in the house anymore, I was very scared of my mom" or something to that effect - more adult.

Sometimes I don't get images at all, like in the above scenario, just strong emotions. Sometimes I can assign an image to to say, a given relationship. For instance, during one session, my T asked me to tell her what my relationship with my mother looks like now, and the image of an old, diseased oak tree immediately popped into my head. Another image I discovered during EMDR was a small, black, rotten walnut which represents my constant anxiety and sits in my gut, always there.....always rotting. I'm still waiting for it to finish rotting away, but I truly believe one day it will.

Keep trying, please! I think things will start improving soon if you keep it up.

Good luck!

WW

I found this thread and am having the same problems. I have days where EMDR does work, but most days it doesn't. I don't feel anything and feel numb when I'm looking at the fingers or using the vibrators. Does anyone have any advice. I feel so frustrated when I leave feeling the same.

I know EMDR does work. The days it does, I feel amazing and my anxiety disappears. I have talked about it with my T as well but she seems stumped. Someone please advise!

[Werewoman]

I think some sessions are just more effective than others. I'm not sure why either except that maybe some issues are bigger and require more work than others? I have had several issues that required more than one session, and it is rare for my anxiety to simply dissipate as soon as the session is over, but I always feel better and more relaxed. A lot of times, as the days go by afterward, I will have a sudden epiphany as a result, which is probably the biggest reason I am such a fan of this therapy. Sometimes a few days will go by and I will get deeply depressed over something that came out during the session.

Recovering from trauma, unfortunately, is a lengthy process and it is not a linear one. Some sessions you make gads of progress, and others you leave more confused than when you started. I think this is normal for everyone. At least I hope it's normal, because otherwise I am an even bigger freak of nature than I thought!

WW

[pattijane]

Originally Posted by hopeless_guy

Thank you kaliope for taking the time to respond back to my post. It has been hard and a long battle for me since I was growing up as a kid. I am 25 years old now and have been doing all sorts of therapy since I was just a kid on and off. Talk therapy seems to have been the worst because all they do is talk about your problems and it never really addresses how to fix the issues you have dealt with in your life.

My therapist is not offering much of explanation at this time because as far as she is concerned therapy is working but probably taking time to unveil itself to me with results. She told me that the way this works is generally she gives a person 3 months when they start doing the emdr and if by then the person has not seen any results or the results are too little then she will re-evaluate me to see where I am at and if emdr is really the best approach for my situation and if it is then she will try once more but perhaps a different approach to emdr.

She told me that sometimes these things take time but in one month of doing this I would like to think I could have at least a starting point of change but it gets so frustrating when I walk in the door to her office and leave exactly the same way I walked in. She wants me to remember the traumas and try to focus on them so I can recreate and feel the same exact traumatic emotions this way the emdr can help me process the trauma and help me to relax this trauma from my past.

The issue I have is that upon thinking of the traumas I don't actually manage to regain the trauma emotions I had at the time of the trauma because the only way for me personally to regain said emotions would be to go through the trauma all over again or have it happening to me. The thoughts of what happened alone are not enough to make me traumatized it's when I am faced with similar situations in public places with other people that I feel trauma if that makes sense. I thank you your kind response to me and for taking the time to read through this.

Have you done enough preparation?? One of the initial phases (Phase 2) in EMDR psychotherapy involves "'preparing for memory processing"' or desensitization (memory processing or desensitization - phases 3-6 - is often what is referred to as "EMDR" which is actually an 8-phase, 3-pronged method of psychotherapy). In this phase resources are "front-loaded" so that you have a "floor" or "container" to help with processing the really hard stuff, as well as creating strategies if you're triggered in everyday life. In Phase 2 you learn a lot of great coping strategies and self-soothing techniques which you can use during EMDR processing or anytime you feel the need. So if you start feeling overwhelmed or that it's too intense, you can ground yourself (with your therapist's help in session, and on your own between sessions) and feel safe enough to continue the work.

Grounding exercises are indispensable in everyday life, and really essential in stressful times. The article below attempts to describe some of these exercises but falls disturbingly short. Anyone can use some of the techniques in Dr. Shapiro's new book "Getting Past Your Past: Take Control of Your Life with Self-Help Techniques from EMDR."'Dr. Shapiro is the founder/creator of EMDR therapy but all the proceeds from the book go to two charities: the EMDR Humanitarian Assistance Program and the EMDR Research Foundation). Anyway, the book is terrific. It's an easy read, helps you understand what's "pushing" your feelings and behavior, helps you connect the dots from past experiences to current life. Also teaches readers lots of helpful techniques that can be used immediately and that are also used during EMDR therapy to calm disturbing thoughts and feelings.

One of the key assets of EMDR is that YOU, the client, are in control NOW, even though you likely were not during past events. You NEVER need re-live an experience or go into great detail, ever! You NEVER need to go through the entire memory. YOU can decide to keep the lights (or the alternating sounds and/or tactile pulsars, or the waving hand, or hand/knee tapping - all forms of bilateral stimulation that should be decided by the client for the client's comfort) going, or stop them, whichever helps titrate – measure and adjust the balance or “dose“ of the processing. During EMDR processing there are regular “breaks” and you can control when and how many but the therapist should be stopping the bilateral stimulation every 25-50 or so passes of the lights to ask you to take a deep breath and to say just a bit of what you’re noticing. The breaks help keep a “foot in the present” while you’re processing the past. Again, and I can’t say this enough, YOU ARE IN CHARGE so YOU can make the process tolerable. No therapy should go digging for repressed memories. Memories are "repressed" for good, protective reasons. Such memories might surface with enough preparation and when the timing is right.

Pacing and dosing are critically important. So if you ever feel that EMDR processing is too intense then it might be time to go back over all the resources that should be used both IN session and BETWEEN sessions. Your therapist can use a variety of techniques to make painful processing less painful, like suggesting you turn the scene in your mind to black and white, lower the volume, or, erect a bullet-proof glass wall between you and the painful scene, and so forth. There are a lot of these kinds of "interventions" that ease the processing. They are called "cognitive interweaves" that your therapist can use, and that also can help bring your adult self's perspective into the work (or even an imaginary Adult Perspective). Such interweaves are based around issues of Safety, Responsibility, and Choice. So therapist questions like "are you safe now?" or "who was responsible? and "do you have more choices now?" are all very helpful in moving the processing along.

In my practice, after the Phase 2 work lets us know that my patient is safe enough and able to cope with any emotion and/or physical sensation both during and between EMDR processing sessions, I often suggest we try a much less intense memory first if there is one that happened BEFORE the trauma(s). If there isn't one, then I suggest we start developmentally with the least disturbing memory and work our way "up" to the most disturbing event(s). Perhaps you can try starting with much less traumatic memories, any old memory that still carries some disturbance. If you can access this kind of memory, and the feelings and body sensations that go along with it, then you might have a successful session and slowly build up to the bigger issues! You said "it's when I am faced with similar situations in public places with other people that I feel trauma" and that does make sense. Once you do enough Phase 2 work, and then a few sessions with "small t" trauma (like a moment of embarrassment that still feels icky when you bring it up) you might target one of the current situations where you "feel" trauma. That might lead you back to the original trauma(s)...

[hopeless_guy]

Thank you all once again for taking the time to respond to me. Sorry I have taken so long to post a reply I was hoping if I waited longer I could update with a more positive response from the therapy working unfortunately that is not the situation.

While read through the posts I just wanted to clarify some things. I did a lot of prepping for EMDR therapy before I called her and set up my first appointment to meet her. I wanted to make sure that EMDR was for me and that I was ready to undertake such an intense treatment of therapy. When we first discussed it she didn't mention anything about phases that was never discussed. All she said was mostly explaining to me how the treatment itself works.

Usually our sessions begin with "how was your week?" or "How have you been since I last saw you?" things like that and then usually I will explain to her how my week has been and if there's anything on my mind bothering me and then we go from there to EMDR. Usually she asks me to recreate images of trauma that happened to me. I told her that this doesn't seem to be helping. I have also tried the approach that was mentioned here of possibly recreating the emotions but that didn't seem to help either. I feel out of it sometimes it is hard to stay focused.

Like the other day I was at a store and I hear a kid crying and throwing a tantrum. I immediately had some flashbacks to some very horrible things that happened to me as a kid and the first thought that came to my head was is the kid alright? What if someone is hurting him? I became anxious, depressed, and traumatized but then I looked over and saw that he just wanted a candy bar and his mom said no so he threw a fit and started crying over it. When I see my therapist she says I want you to recreate that image in your head so I did but when we did EMDR nothing happened. I tried to see if perhaps bringing back those traumatic feelings would somehow help but I couldn't even bring them back. I told her that if she expects me to feel traumatized I would have to be at the store with the kid standing nearby me throwing a tantrum for me to recreate and feel the same feelings I felt at the time or else it doesn't work.

I am still giving it more time. The part that makes me so anxious and frustrated is that I walk into her office and most times I leave exactly the same way I walked in. I have given this more time because I know this therapy takes longer for some people. So far it has done nothing much for me. When I get anxious and frustrated and I just wanna cry it all out it's mostly because I was hoping by now I would have some form of results or at least some answers that say to me "yes the treatment is working and it is working well even if it is taking a little longer then expected." But we are hitting my 3 month EMDR therapy treatment mark here and things have not changed so much so I feel stuck not knowing what else to do other then give it more time.

[Werewoman]

Originally Posted by hopeless_guy

Thank you all once again for taking the time to respond to me. Sorry I have taken so long to post a reply I was hoping if I waited longer I could update with a more positive response from the therapy working unfortunately that is not the situation.

While read through the posts I just wanted to clarify some things. I did a lot of prepping for EMDR therapy before I called her and set up my first appointment to meet her. I wanted to make sure that EMDR was for me and that I was ready to undertake such an intense treatment of therapy. When we first discussed it she didn't mention anything about phases that was never discussed. All she said was mostly explaining to me how the treatment itself works.

Usually our sessions begin with "how was your week?" or "How have you been since I last saw you?" things like that and then usually I will explain to her how my week has been and if there's anything on my mind bothering me and then we go from there to EMDR. Usually she asks me to recreate images of trauma that happened to me. I told her that this doesn't seem to be helping. I have also tried the approach that was mentioned here of possibly recreating the emotions but that didn't seem to help either. I feel out of it sometimes it is hard to stay focused.

Like the other day I was at a store and I hear a kid crying and throwing a tantrum. I immediately had some flashbacks to some very horrible things that happened to me as a kid and the first thought that came to my head was is the kid alright? What if someone is hurting him? I became anxious, depressed, and traumatized but then I looked over and saw that he just wanted a candy bar and his mom said no so he threw a fit and started crying over it. When I see my therapist she says I want you to recreate that image in your head so I did but when we did EMDR nothing happened. I tried to see if perhaps bringing back those traumatic feelings would somehow help but I couldn't even bring them back. I told her that if she expects me to feel traumatized I would have to be at the store with the kid standing nearby me throwing a tantrum for me to recreate and feel the same feelings I felt at the time or else it doesn't work.

I am still giving it more time. The part that makes me so anxious and frustrated is that I walk into her office and most times I leave exactly the same way I walked in. I have given this more time because I know this therapy takes longer for some people. So far it has done nothing much for me. When I get anxious and frustrated and I just wanna cry it all out it's mostly because I was hoping by now I would have some form of results or at least some answers that say to me "yes the treatment is working and it is working well even if it is taking a little longer then expected." But we are hitting my 3 month EMDR therapy treatment mark here and things have not changed so much so I feel stuck not knowing what else to do other then give it more time.

I can't advise you on whether to continue trying with the EMDR as I think that's a decision strictly between you and your therapist.

The only other thing I can think of to suggest is maybe trying hypnosis. My first therapist wanted to try this with me but for one thing, I think I am one of those people who can't be hypnotized and secondly, the stuff I do remember is bad enough and I figured if my brain buried those memories that deeply, I didn't want to know what they were anyway. Now, several years later, I doubt I have any buried memories or I wouldn't be getting better.

I'm rooting for you and hope that regardless of what you decide to do, that you keep trying. I remember days when I was so depressed and so exhausted that I just wanted to stop trying, but I'm glad I kept pushing through because while I still have work to do, I am a lot better now than I was then.

Please keep us posted on your situation.

WW

[hopeless_guy]

Originally Posted by Werewoman

I can't advise you on whether to continue trying with the EMDR as I think that's a decision strictly between you and your therapist.

The only other thing I can think of to suggest is maybe trying hypnosis. My first therapist wanted to try this with me but for one thing, I think I am one of those people who can't be hypnotized and secondly, the stuff I do remember is bad enough and I figured if my brain buried those memories that deeply, I didn't want to know what they were anyway. Now, several years later, I doubt I have any buried memories or I wouldn't be getting better.

I'm rooting for you and hope that regardless of what you decide to do, that you keep trying. I remember days when I was so depressed and so exhausted that I just wanted to stop trying, but I'm glad I kept pushing through because while I still have work to do, I am a lot better now than I was then.

Please keep us posted on your situation.

WW

Thank you I will be sure to keep you all posted. Unfortunately hypnosis is something that has already been tried a long time ago and for some unknown reason I was not able to be hypnotized. I had a friend who did hypnosis once and was out just like that within literally less then a minute and everything worked fine but I guess I am one of those people who does not get how it works or it just doesn't work for me I suppose but I have had therapists in the past try this and it just did nothing I was not hypnotized at all.

I went to my session from the other day and talked to my therapist and we have agreed to keep it going for now but under a different approach of EMDR where she uses her fingers and has me follow her fingers around with my eyes instead of using the hand vibrating sensors that she had me using before. I noted that when she used her hands the movement was a lot faster then it was when we just used the hand vibrating device she had me using. Hopefully this changes things but only time will tell. I will keep everyone posted thanks.

[Werewoman]

Yeah, I can't be hypnotized either, but I know for me it's a trust issue. As much as I liked the therapist, I just don't have the capacity to trust anyone enough to give up control, which in my mind, is what hypnosis entails. I think that also explains why I can't fly. When I go to the dentist, I have to be knocked out because I am unable to 'force myself to hold still while someone does something to me that I find highly unpleasant', even though my dentist is extremely kind and gentle. Strangely, I don't worry that it will hurt, though, I guess because it never has, at least until after the numby stuff wears off.

[sunrise sunset]

hello hopeless_guy
its been years since your post... I was wondering if you found help or had breakthroughs?

I have PTSD and also ADD
it has been very difficult getting EMDR to work for me. its been a year for me...
I am looking into brainspotting...

I can not call up trauma at the snap of my therapists fingers either.

just hoping you had success for your own benefit of healing. But also wondering what did work, if anything that you may wish to share for the benefit of me and others...

I hope you are no longer "hopeless"

Originally Posted by hopeless_guy

I went through a lot of sexual and physical abuse as a kid and I am 25 now and EMDR therapy seems to be my last and only option at this time as years and years of behavior and talk therapy have been thrown out the window as they were non effective. I am starting to give up hope on having a normal life again because I can't seem to go a day without something triggering a trauma for me.

Yesterday I was getting my haircut and this little boy asked his mom for a candy bar from the vending machine and when she said no he threw a fit and started crying and that triggered a trauma for me. But when I am at the therapists office trying to recreate these memories like she asks me to so we can get the traumatic feelings to return nothing happens. It has been one month and I feel exactly the same today as the first day I ever walked in her office and she knows this because I have told her.

She has over 20 years experience and I read great reviews about her online but nothing. I hate having to constantly change therapists here it is stating to frustrate me more as the days go by. What do I do here and why is this "EMDR" treatment not working for me whatsoever?