The first week

My counsler wants me to talk about my first week from the storm. She told me a good place to do that would be here. I dont know that it is, but I'm going to try and get it out. She wanted me to post it here at pc and have others ask me questions about my feelings on what happened at different times during this first week. Ya'll i'm not doing this to receive sympathy.Youv'e all given me more than that. So, please, please don't say your sorry. I'm not trying to be ugly. If you don't know what to say, that is perfectly fine with me. Cause I know how a heart feels.

I did not reread this or spell check. It was hard enough just to write it. So, if any errors or confusion, I apologize.

It all started for me:

Saturday night when i got home from work I watched the news and local forcasters were saying they expected it to take a turn to the northeast. So, I decided to sit back and eat dinner and drink some beer, relax and watch a movie. I dozed off about midnight.

Sunday, I woke up at 5 am on the dot. I walked to the kitchen and made me an iced coffee, then went into the garage to see the weather and grab a smoke. I put on channel 8 to see what Bob Breck had to say. It wasnt good. I heard him say its coming right at us and this one is going to be bad. I've stayed for all the other storms, never felt that i was in danger. But, that morning I got chills that ran through my body. I felt the tension take over instantly. I knew I had to go. I knew it was going to be the end if I stayed. I got on the phone and called Dave. I woke him up and told him to pack what he can and we'll evacuate in my truck. Said get to my house no later than 7am. He said he would be there soon. Just as I hung up the phone my dad walked into the garage. He looked at me and asked if I was going to stay. I told him no. Said I just spoke with Dave and he'll be over shortly. My dad asked me to go outside and help make sure all the windows were boarded tight and everything was tied down secure. We spent a good 45 minutes checking things and had a few neighbors stopping over to see if we were staying or going. We got back inside, woke my mom and nephew. I got my nephew up, dressed and eating some breakfast, while i went into his room to pack some clothes and some of his priceless possessions. I pulled a bag down from his closest and gave it to him and said to fill it with whatever you want to take. He filled it with toys. I loaded his stuff into the back of my truck. Then got two ice chests from the shed and started filling them with stuff we could take and use from the fridge. I loaded that into the back of my truck. Also loading some things from my parents. Dave got over a little after 7 and helped me get my cat Jasmine's stuff together. I packed a small bag with two days worth of clothes, grabbed a few framed pictures on the wall and my teddy bear. Dave and I threw that stuff and his in the pack and we got it somewhat organized.

We'd all been trying to reach my brother on the phone, but no one would answer. My dad took a ride down the road to his house to see what was going on. He got back up by our house about 7:30 with both of his hands bleeding from the knuckles. I grabbed a tshirt and gave it to him, then went and got the first aid kit. He said no one would answer the door. He was banging on the door so hard it made him bleed. He had to wake them up. They couldnt stay there at the house for what was heading right at us. My dad said my brother cracked open the door and said he was awake and would call and let us know when they got on the road and to find out what direction to head in.

My mom was packing up her bag, while my dad, Dave, Tres and I all were standing outside experiencing the calm before the storm. Watching and waving as our friends and neighbors were pulling out to get out. Life became surreal at that point for me. It hit me. I knew right then and there I would never see home again like i did the day before.

As we waited outside for my mom, Blackie, our neighbors cat behind us came walking up to us. He loved my dad. My dad looked at me and I automatically said yes. So, Dave ran inside and got a blanket, threw it over the top of everything in the back of my truck and we put Blackie back there. Both of the side windows were cracked open for air and he had water, food, and a kitty liter box back there. He was safe and sound and coming with us.

At 8am, I said good bye to my home, my street, my neighborhood, my parish. We hoped on highway 90 heading east. I knew of a small hotel up around Blackwater River State Park in Florida. That was our destination. I let my dad hop in front of me and Dave the two cats and I followed my parents and Tres'. We were rolling along just fine. Traffic was moving steady, there were no problems. Then we got to the Rigolets bridge on Highway 90. They raised the bridge and told us an hour later after waiting for it to be lowered that it isnt coming back down. So our option of taking Highway 90 out of town was shot down. We had to find another way. We, just like every other single car there with us, did a u-turn and got onto Gause Blvd. in Slidell. We sat in dead still traffic for over 3 hours with out moving an inch. Gause Blvd. took us to Interstate 10 which when we got on it we would head east to Florida. But, there were no police, no nothing keeping the traffic flowing. After three hours we finally started to move, slowy, very slowly. It was 1:30pm when we merged onto Interstate 10. My truck kept running hot and if it died, Dave and I were out of luck. We were stuck. Thank goodness it kept going and didnt break down. We stayed in a steady flow of traffic all the way to we reached Gulfport, Mississippi. We sat there for an hour without moving. Dave and I knew those back roads above Gulfport. So we talked my parents into following us and we'd head north instead of going east. They agreed.

We got onto the backroads, barely a car in sight. We were moving good now. We got through that part of Mississippi and hit the Alabama border north of Mobile. None of us knew the roads here so we had to pull out a map. I don't recall the highway we were looking for. All i know is we passed it up and we had to turn around. While doing that I tried calling my brother again. It was after 6pm and none of us had heard from him. Well, he answered my call. He sounded funny, like he'd been crying. I asked him where they were on the road. He told me not on the road. I said then where are you. He said i'm standing in my driveway watching the feeder bands move in. I got mad. I yelled at him, why the hell are you still there. He didnt answer. I asked if Angie took the truck and left him. He said no. I asked where was Angie. He said she wasnt there. I asked, really getting scared and upset now, where was she. He then broke down. He told me when he woke up he found her dead in the bed. She had passed while sleeping.

All, I remember is dropping my cell phone and bringng both hands to my face. Dave was yelling at me to grab the wheel. I couldnt function. All i thought was my nephew. His mom died. Now his dad is still there and cant get out now. He may loose his dad. I couldnt stop crying and Dave just kept trying to calm me down so i would grab the wheel. At some point i did. Dave took the phone and talked to my brother. He hung up and said Bj doesnt want Tres' to know. He said he wants to tell him about his mom. But, Bj wanted us to tell my parents what was going on.

Dave got me back to reality and got us turned around and on the right road. I stayed driving the whole time. I dont know why. But i needed that control. We must have drove for another 3 or 4 hours. I know it was dark out. We were somewhere in Alabama and trying to head up to Montgomery area. I felt ready and able to tell my parents about Bj and Angie. So we pulled over into a gas station and I drove to the back part of it. Dave grabbed Tres and took him into the store there. I asked my parents to sit down. My mom sat back down in her drivers seat. My dad stood next to the car. I started crying before any words came out and they knew then something bad had happened. My dad put his arm around me and said to just spit it out. So, I did, and it all came out. My mom sat crying in the drivers seat. My dad feel to his knees and made the sign of the cross. I stood there. I felt myself turning around in circles, but i wasnt moving. We gathered ourselves together, becuase we couldnt lead on what had happened in front of Tres'. My parents and I walked over into the little gas station store to get Dave and Tres'. I could not look at Tres' without crying. I whispered to Dave, he understood and I went and waited in the truck. They came out a few minutes later and we got back on the road heading east for a bit, then we would go north.

From that point, the radio still had WWL 870AM on and us listening to what was going on at home. It was getting late into the evening. The city of New Orleans, Jefferson Parish, St. Tammany Parish, Plaquemines Parish all called for mandatory evacuations. But, St. Bernard was only volunteer. As i'm listening to all this play out on the radio, so much was going through my mind. Between Bj, Angie and Tres, I'm thinking of my family and friends. Some i couldnt get in touch with before leaving and now the phone lines were jammed. If you had a 504 area code, you werent getting through to no one. The customers, the people that came into the store I worked at the night before telling me they were staying. This one lady, God, I feel so awful. I have so much quilt on me cause of this. I can still see her face. She told me her husband was stuck in Florida, out of town for work. The police were not letting him get back to get his family. She had no car, she had no transportation. She had 4 boys. I remember the 12 and 7 year old. She had her 16 year old back at the house with her 4 month old. She was getting candles, batteries, flashlights. She didnt have much money, but so desperately needed this stuff. I told her to just take it. I would cover the cost for it. I walked around the counter and we gave each other a hug. Wishing each other the best. Her and her boys did not make it out of the storm. They all drowned. I have nightmares to this day of thinking about her.

It was about midnight and we made it finally just north of mobile. We stopped to rest for a few minutes at a welcome center. From this point on, going north we would try to find a hotel. And one that took pets. I walked inside the center to use the restroom and saw all these differnet pamphlets, so i grabbed a few. I went back out to the truck and smoked a cigarette and drank another beer. Dave tried to get me to eat, but i wasnt hungry. I couldnt even fathom the taste of food on my tongue. My parents and Tres were parked next to us and catching some shuteye the best they could. There was alot of commotion going on. Alot of people coming and going. I finished my beer and cig and opened the back of the truck and feed Blackie. Then went to the cab of the truck and gave Jasmine her shot and fed her. Then i sat down next to Dave on the sidewalk and we started looking at the pamphlets. I found some hotels just north of where we were. So I got my cell and started calling them. The 7th one I spoke with had three rooms left and they took pets. Automatically we reserved two rooms. I ran to the car next to my parents. They were an older couple, my parents age and from Bay St. Louis, Mississippi. I told them i found three rooms, that we only needed two and the hotel is on the phone if they want the third one. The lady took my phone and made her reservation. We had to be at the hotel by 3am. It was 12:15 am and a good three hour drive away. I was fine driving, my adrenaline was pumping so hard and the beer was keeping me, well i dont know. But it was helping me. My parents followed us. Neither one of them could see very well at night and then after driving for over 16 hours straight they were seeing nothing but blurs and starbursts. We finally made it to the hotel. I can't remember the name of it. But it was in Clanton, Alabama. Just off the interstate on the left heading north. They were the nicest people at that hotel. We got Blackie out of the back of the truck and into my parents room. Then we got Jasmine and Tres' into the room with Dave and I. Dave and I unloaded the bags we needed while Tres' went to sleep and my parents tuned into CNN, MNBC, etc. Anything talking about home.

It was 4:59am when Dave and I sat down on the bed. He both opened another beer drank some then went and washed our faces and brushed our teeth. Dave laid down, but didnt sleep. I sat outside the room smoking cigarettes and walking back and forth from our room to my parents. Constantly trying to get my brother, Tara, Sharon, Mrs Betty, on and on. No one. Not even voice mail. All you could get is a recording saying the lines were all busy, to try back later.

6:00am came fast. I walked back into our room and Dave was holding Tres' in bed watching some cartoons. Tres' said he was hungry and wanted bacon. Dave said he could eat a little, but not much. So I walked to my parents room and they were just about to come get us. We walkded down to the parking lot and went into Denny's. We all got the breakfast bar. Tres's ate a pancake and a few pieces of bacon. Dave ate a few pieces of bacon. My mom ate some toast. My dad ate some toast and bacon. I drank a beer and ate one ppiece of bacon. After we finished staring off into space at Denny's, we walked back to our rooms and kept CNN on. All they would talk about was the New Orleans. Why the hell dont' they say anything about St. Bernard. We all thinking if it's that bad in New Orleans, my God, then St Bernard is gone. We heard the governor come on tv and say there is a no-fly over zone over the parish of St. Bernard. That scared us even worse, becuase other people staying at the hotel were hearing things and passing it along to others. And a few times all we heard was the no-fly over was because there were so many bodies floating around in the flood water in St. Bernard. At some point on Monday when we knew what we had on and what we had in the bags with us was the only possessions we now owned, we needed to find a Mall Wart or Kmart. Dave and I wrote down sizes for all of us from socks to pants. We left the hotel with two credit cards and found the Wall Mart. I dont remember anything much about being there at the Wall Mart, but walking in. There was a table set up with a tablecloth on it. A very big glass jar was on the table and a sign that said, please donate to the Katrina Victims. I got a chill when i read that, just as i got a chill telling you. I looked over at Dave and he was crying. Tears were pouring down his face. I grabbed a hold of him and we stood in that door way of *****art for I dont know how long and cried. I remember feeling people coming up and hugging us from behind and saying things to us. Dont remember what they said though. A lady took us off to a side room and gave us each a cold drink and had us sit down. Next thing I remember was Dave with a basket and me with a basket buying underwear, clothes, basic necessities we all needed. I remember seeing things in the baskets, but dont remember putting them there. I dont remember leaving *****art or getting back to the hotel. But I drove us and we got there. Dave says it's all a blur to him too.

We hung around the hotel drinking. Not just us. All of the evacuees you saw there were. We all were from differnet areas, but yet we relied on each other for any information you could give. I cannot remember anything else about monday except trying religiously to get my brother and others on the phone with no success. Monday night passed. Dave and Tres' got some sleep. My parents got a few hours of sleep. I sat outside the hotel door smoking, drinking and dialing numbers in my phone. I was wrapped in a blanket becuase we were starting to get affects from the outer bands of Katrina. Tropical force conditions were hitting us. Just before sunrise, the electric went out and stayed out till late Wednesday night.

Wednesday was spent going back and forth to the car to listen to the radio, to see if we could pick up anything about home. Dave took Tres' in the pool swimming for a little bit. Then my mom later took Tres' to Wall mart to get some toys and board games. Late Wednesday night Mr.Richie got through on my dad's walkie talkie phone. They were in Plaquemine near Baton Rouge. Mr's Betty's family gave them a house for her family and friends. They wanted us to come there as soon as possible. Late Wednesday night we mapped it out. it would take us about 500 miles to get there. Everyone got to bed to try and get some sleep. We knew thursday was going to be another rough day.

I laid there in bed, my mind racing so god damn fast, adrenaline still pumping. No sleep for me. Couldnt do it. I knew I needed sleep. I hadn't slept since saturday night, 5 nights ago. I could barely walk, talk. but adrenaline kept me going somehow. I found out that i could reach people voicemail if i called the 504 area code around 3-4 am in the morning. So thats what i did thursday morning. Sat outside the hotel door, wrapped in a blanket with my beer, cigarettes and phone. Dialing away and leaving messages. I doubt anyone could understand me, I was crying so much. I tried my brother again. I still wasnt able to get him at all. Then the phone started to ring, Oh My God. I heard his voice. It was his voice mail. I couldnt talk. All i could do was cry and beg him to please be alive. Please be safe. Tres' needs you. He's lost his mother. He needs his father. Please Bj. Please come home to us. I don't know who, but some woman was holding me so tight and crying with me. She kept telling me to cry, let it out. And I did. I kept calling Bj back. I kept getting his voice mail and i kept leaving the numbers for our dad, mom, Mr. Richie, Mrs. Betty, Tara, Dave. Someone he would find us, get in touch with someone. I didnt personally speak to my friends, but they were able to leave voicemails on my phone and i got those. I knew they were safe. Well most i heard from and knew of their safety.I must have called my brother and left 100 messages.

The sun was rising and i had to get inside and get Tres' and Dave up to start packing. We had to load up and get on the road to Plaquemine. We wanted to hit the road no later than 7am.

We got Blackie and Jasmine into the truck and everything packed back in. We went to the front office to check out. They did not charge us for the pets. That was nice of them. They came around the counter and gave us hugs, wishing us the best and said they will keep my brother and the others in their prayers.

The trip to Plaquemine was heading south then hopping onto a highway that took us straight into Jackson, Mississippi. At some point along that highway, still in Alabama, my good friend Jamie and her family were staying at this little rinky dink motel. Her, her girlfriend, her parents, 5 dogs and one cat. All in one room. We stayed and visited with them for a good 30 minutes. We all cried so hard and hugged so hard. We didnt want to let go. I tried to get them to follow us, but where we were going to the house in Plaquemine, pets were not allowed inside. So, they opted to stay there. They spent another 4 weeks in that one room before they found another place to go. After we left the motel, we went to a gas station to get gas just down the highway. They were out of gas, but said a truck was on the way. So, we waited about 2 hours and found out no truck was coming. We both got back on the road with less than a tank of gas in each vehicle and stayed heading west. We found another gas station that did have gas. But the line was a good 100 vehicles back. We didnt have a choice. We got in line and turned of the motor. When we had to move up, the vehicles went into neutral and we pushed them. We had to save on gas. They may be out by the time we got there. Four and a half hours later we made it to the tank. We filled up both vehicles and i talked a local guy that lived next door into selling us his 5 gallon tank. He gave it to us and filled it for us. He was an angel we met along our journey.

We got back on the road. If we figured right one more stop for gas and that would do it. I was still driving since the morning we left home, still had but only a few pieces of bacon to eat in those five days. We made it to Jackson, Mississippi and there was a Waffle House. I had an appetite. We all did. So we stopped to eat there. We waited about 15 minutes for a table. As we sat at the table waiting for the waitress, a girl who worked there standing just on the other side of the counter from us told the lady behind the register that she couldnt take it anymore. She *****ed and moaned that she waited over an hour to get gas and that all these people from New Orleans need to leave and go home. She continued on for a good 10 minutes about how awful we were and all the things we did to her. Then she turned and looked me straight in the eyes and asked what i would like to eat. I said two scrambled eggs, bacon and grits. She told me they were out of bacon and out of eggs. All they had were waffles. I actually started to get tears in my eyes. I thought to myself why was everything going wrong. She said to me again, 'Well what do you want, I dont have all day to stand here and wait for you to cry over bacon and eggs.' I don't know what happened inside of me. I lunged over the partition wall at her. I had my arms and hands around her pulling her back over to where i was. I was going to kill her. And it wasnt over bacon and eggs. I dont' know what it was, but I was.

My dad and boyfriend pulled me off of her and pushed me out the door. I remember hearing the other people in the restaurant hollaring for me to hurt her. My family walked me to my truck and put me in the passenger seat. People started walking out of the Waffle House and walking up to us. They were telling my Dad and Dave they should have let me at her. Dave later told me all of the people in there got up and walked out without paying for their meals. And the majority of them were from the Gulf Coast.

I wasnt allowed to drive anymore. My keys were taking away. I had to somehow stay seated in the passenger seat while Dave drove the rest of the way to Plaquemine. We stopped on the other side of Jackson to fill the tank again. At that gas station Dave bought me an eggroll and i ate it, couldn't eat the chips with it. He bought a case of beer and a small styrofoam ice chest to put inside the truck. From that point on i drank the entire case by the time we got to Plaquemine.

I can't remember much while riding. What the conversations were or what we heard on the radio. But i do remember two things vividly that give me nightmares. I think it was in the evening sometime and the mayor, Ray Nagin, of New Orleans came on WWL 870 AM and begged for help. He mentioned St. Bernard. He said they dont have anyone able to get to them. He begged and pleaded for help. Dave and I listened to that speech he made and we cried our eyes out. A few minutes after Mayor Nagin went off the air. My cell phone rang. It was my good friend, Octane, a Coastie. He was a drill sergeant at Cape May, New Jersey at the time. He said he'd been trying for days to call me and finally got me. He questioned me with one question after the other. I told him about my brother and that all we knew was our entire parish had up to 20 feet of water and bodies were floating all over. He told me that a huey was on its way now to a school in St. Bernard to rescue elderly and sick. He told me another one was on its way there too. He listened to me in a panic, crying for my dear life and the life of others and said to hold on. He said you will all be alright. Then my phone died.

We made it to Plaquemine just before midnight. Everyone was sitting outside on the back porch drinking beer and waiting for us. Oh god, it felt so good to see them. We all hugged each other and couldnt stop crying. Michael held me saying, 'Dont' worry, your brother will make it. Look at the stuff we did when we were kids. He knows how to survive this."

I stayed out there on the back porch, Dave, Nicole, and the guys. We drank and tried to just make conversation without crying. One by one, they were going inside to pass out. Dave refused to go inside when it was just us two out there. He was so tired. I told him to go to bed. I'd be in shortly. After awhile he did go in. I stayed drinking until the sun started to rise and switched to coffee.

While sitting outside early that friday morning, a man pulled into the parking lot right next to the house we were in. A bank was next to us. He walked over to me and introduced himself. We talked for a few minutes and he told me that at 9am when the bank opens to please come over in there and he would set me up on a computer so i could search for any info on my brother online. As he was leaving to go into the bank, my Dad walked out and also met and talked to him. He was another angel we met.

At 7am that Friday morning, everyone was awake and moving around. My Dad, Dave and i got in the car and went over to Baton Rouge. We heard on the radio that refugees were being taken to the River Centre there. We walked around that building and walked. We finally found Red Cross. I asked them to look at their list for my brother name. The man refused to do it. He said there lists were not all collected yet and until then, no names would be released. I asked if they could annouce his name inside the building, he said no to that too. They wouldnt let us in to look for him. So i stood by the door screaming my brothers name, until a police officer dragged me away. I saw my Dad talking to another officer, crying. They let me go. We went back to the house in Plaquemine with the 26 other people staying there with us and sat around watching tv with a broken antenna and listening to WWL 870 for any news. Any news at all.

At 9am on the dot, Dave walked across the parking lot to the bank with me. I can't remember the managers name, but he gave me a desk with a computer and a printer and said, 'Have at it.' I spent a few hours, Dave and I, putting my brother, Dave's cousin and some friends onto lists for the lost and puttting our names on the found lists. We checked the St. Bernard Forum every so often to see if anything new came up. It was all rumors, but some of it was true. The guys came over to the bank and got me and Dave and took us across the highway to a bar to have a few drinks. We stayed there for a little bit. Then Dave and i went back to the bank and stayed on the computer till we had to get off. After that we all went to the back porch and drank numerous cases of beer until one by one, they started to fall. I again, going on another sleepless night, stayed out there drinking till coffee time.

Saturday monring not long after I got the coffee brewing, everyone started waking up. Again, Dave, my Dad and I drove into Baton Rouge at the River Centre and tried again to find my brother or get a list. Nothing. They would say nothing to us. As we were leaving, there was a table set up outside with people giving out bottles of water. They offered us each one and we accepted. As we stood there getting the water a man asked us to hold his hand and pray. My Dad and Dave walked off. I held his hand and let him pray. I caught up with Dave and found my Dad. They both said they couldnt do it. There faces looked just like mine. Swollen red eyes from crying and tear stained cheeks. We left the River Centre unsuccessful again. Back to the house and the ritual of the back porch.

Sunday morning and still no sleep, maybe 30 minutes that i would doze off in the rocker out back. But that was it. I was drinking my third cup of coffee. I heard no one moving around yet in the house and then Nicole came flying through the back door. I couldnt understand a word she was saying. She grabbed my coffee cup and threw it, grabbed me and pulled me behind her. She took me back to the room my family was all staying in. All 26 people were blocking the two doorways into the room. Nicole pushed me through everyone. When i could see inside, my parents were sitting up on their air mattress with tears rolling down their faces. My Dad had his phone and could barely talk, he was so choked up. Then I heard it. My brothers voice. I heard his voice say, "I'm safe, I'm okay, just please come and get me." He said he was in Arkansas at an Army Base. Said the name of the base and said he would call them back with more info soon. I looked around. There was so much joy in that one room at that moment. I thought i would die of it.

My nephew stayed laying on the sofa sleeper pretending he was still asleep. We let him be for a bit. My parents went and got themselves dressed and ready to hit the road. Dave packed food and an ice chest. Mr. Richie got the maps together. Someone checked the car tires and oil. And I packed bags for them. Within an hour of getting off the phone, they were pulling out of the bank parking lot heading to Arkansas. Dave and I stayed behind with Tres'. Mrs. Betty's family invited us all over that Sunday to eat and socialize. We would take Tres' over.

Around 11am we all left and followed Mrs. Betty and Mr Richie over to their relatives house. Tres' was excited, cause he was told they had horses. When we got there, everyone was so nice. There was so much food. They must have cooked all night long. Tres' made friends with three of the other young boys there and they spent the majority of the time upstairs playing video games. Dave and I walked across the street to their pier over the creek and sat for a bit and had a few beers. We went back over and socialized with everyone. Around 3pm, we had to leave. We had to go into Baton Rouge and find some air mattress, sleeping bags, or just a foam pad. Something. Dave was hurting bad from sleeping on the hard wood floor and I needed something to, for when i would finally lay down to sleep. We went to probably a dozen stores and all the shelves were empty. So we headed back to Plaquemine. We got back around 8pm that evening. Dave and I bought Tres' a video game and two Bionicles to play with. Something to keep him occupied. He couldnt stand being around us adults with the things we were talking about. And the other children there were 4 and under and they just aggravated Tres'. The big 10 year old he was.

Around 10pm Monday, Labor Day night, my Dad got through on Mr. Richie's phone and said they were almost back with Bj. We all waited anxiously out back for their arrival. At exactly midnight they pulled up. I went inside and got Tres'. He flew past me, out the back door, hollaring for his mother. He saw his Dad and ran to him. Bj grabbed him and hugged him so tight, while Tres' kept asking where his mom was. I heard Bj say, "Son, We will talk about that in a little bit." Everyone welcomed Bj back to us. Back to safety. Then came the time for Bj to tell Tres'. He took him outside in the back and sat on the bench with him. We all stood in the kitchen with the doors closed crying and hugging. We all knew what was coming. When I heard my nephew scream for his mother and beg God to bring her back, I lost it. We all did. It was the most awful time in my life. Bj and Tres' stayed out there for awhile to be together. After a bit, Bj carried him inside and we all said something to Tres'. Cathy and Mike gave up the bedroom they had for Bj and Tres that night. They would sleep in the dining room floor with some others. Bj laid Tres' on the bed and laid next to him until he feel asleep.

Dave, Michael, little Michael and I sat on the back porch drinking our beer again. We couldnt sleep. Adrenaline, all wound up. At some point Bj came out there and asked where the beer was. He joined us. We started asking him questions about home. He talked about some stuff. But, we could see it was hard for him to say some things. We stayed out there drinking again till everyone passed out one by one. It was just me and my brother sitting there. Bj told me that when he was at the army base, he couldnt sleep. So around 5 in the morning on Sunday he went walking around and an officer stopped him and started talking to him. He offered him some hot coffee and cool air in his office. Bj took him up on the deal. He said while they were talking the officer offered him his phone for Bj to call his phone and get messages. My brother started crying then. He said, 'Dayna, all i heard was you, mom, dad, mrs, betty, everyone crying and leaving so many phone numbers and everyone begging and praying that I was safe. Telling me Tres' was safe. Telling me they loved me and wanted me home." Bj said, he and the officer listened to quite a few of those messges while both of them cried. He said the officer wrote the numbers down as he heard them and gave Bj the list to start calling them. He said the only number he could get through to, was our Dad. That's how my brother came home to us.

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AM having a hard time writing this as I am crying at how well you wrote. The pain you are feeling is coming right threw the screen at me. You are so brave. You , your family, everyone forn there...
You my friend have come so far. I remember when we first met in chat. You are such a good person, I am so proud of you ..................thats all I can say as I am crying and really can not see the key board anymore......
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I know you will touch everyones heart here with this

(((((chal))))) I know how hard it was to write this and face those demons up close an personal. Thank you so much for trusting us enough to share your story with us. This is very hard for me! I know that you posted this thread for a specific reason and I am trying to honor your request for questions. But first I have to say that I knew you were an amazing human being before, but now I am speechless and that never happens.

What was it about this storm that you knew it was going to be different from all of the rest? Do you remember how and why you knew this one was different? When you wrote this, and put everything in chronological order, how do you feel about the way you reacted to each obstacle?

I know you feel a lot of guilt, but if this was a friend or a neighbor’s story, wouldn’t you tell her that she did exactly the right things? You did exactly the right thing at every turn, you were able to safely evacuate 5 people and 2 cats, you could do no more!

And I must thank you very much for attacking the woman at the waffle house! I cannot imagine a human being acting in such a way!

I know that this wound is deep and will never totally heal, what can we do to help you heal more? God Bless!

((((chalmette)))) You're very brave to post this, it must have been hard for you. I've considered doing something similar with my story (or what little I remember of it, anyway), but just thinking about doing it makes me want to curl up in bed and hope it all goes away. I wish I had your courage!

(((((((((((((((((((chalmette))))))))))))))))))))

what can i say
your writing made feel like i was there with you well written im going to say sorry nobody should have to go through that

(((((((((((((((((((chalmette))))))))))))))))))))

My dear friend.

I just sat and stared at the line with the cursor blinking. What to say? Others have said it takes a lot of courage to do that and you're showing others that it can be done, it is possible to share something so deep, so moving.

I hope you don't take this wrong, but it left me wanting more. Its one thing to see it on tv, all the way here in the desert where there's no water. Its one thing to see the news reports, to watch it in rememberence. But when you read something first hand from someone who was there....this was just such a big event in our country but its so easy to view it like a movie, its impossible for me to imagine it. You let me peer in and "see". See what you and everyone went through.

Thank you for this. I don't think T realized how many people you would touch with this post. Or maybe she did, who knows what her train of thought was in asking you to do this.

In sharing with others, we take some of the burden off ourselves. In sharing our experience, we get to show others that surviving can be done. In sharing this, which your ticker underneath, you're showing that anyone can get sober, no matter what they've been through.

I don't have a question. Just a statement I guess. By you doing this, you not only help yourself, but everyone who reads it. You show that LOVE can get us through anything. You show that COURAGE means survival. You show that NOTHING CAN STOP THE YATS. I admire you so my friend. I am SO honored to call you my friend.

(((Chalmy)))

I am very glad that you could get it out. I wish you never had to experience it, but its amazing how strong you really are.

You know I am always here, via PM or which ever way you need me. (Some people here say I should be bound and gagged...but whatcha gonna do)

I am really proud of you.

Hey Muffy. We don't feel brave. Not in the sense at least. We've all grown up and been taught to work hard to get what you want. And after just one day losing all that you've worked for you entire life. Having it taking away it was anger. Looking for a place to put that blame of anger.

I dont know how many people know the history of the hurrricanes that have hit here. In the hurricane of 1927 the COE did blow the levees to save the city of New Orleans. In 1967, during Hurricane Betsy, the COE blew the levees. Again to save New Orleans. Its not a fact, but only a rumor and will probably stay that way. But the main spot along the industrial canal that breached causing the flooding of the 9th ward of NO and St Bernard is the same exact spot that was blown with dynamite in 67. Except this time, there were barges left sittig right there in the canal. If you look at the pictures well enough. Right inside of the breached levee where all houses are gone is a barge, a big one. My brother said he spoke with a man from the 9th ward when they were waiting to get ferried across the river to Algiers. He said this man told him he watched from a second story window, the barge keep banging and banging into the level wall then gradually break through. This man told my brother the water came up so fast he had just enough time to climb out his window and hold onto the lightpost out front. He said the surge washed his house away. With his dog and grandmother inside. Its things like this that people dont know about. And believe me, anyone you meet from down this way, will have a million stories for you.

I'm still finding out things i didnt know then or remembered then. I'm still looking for friends that i cannot find. I'll go to a store and swear i just saw so and so walk past. I'll run to the end of the isle and they are gone. I'll run theough the whole store and nothing.

Aw no, i'm rambling on and probably making you cry more. I've had some family memebers tell me to write a book. But so many people down here have already done that and I dont think it would sell anyway. lol

I've got some kleenex for you, the soft kind with aloe in it.

love ya muffy

chalmette

Oh (((AAA))). I ain't nothing special. Just do what i have to do to get by.

I stayed for every other storm. The last big one that was heading for us was Ivan. It took the turn at the last minute. Thank Goodness. I just never felt the need to leave. I knew in my heart we would be okay. But on saturday, there was a stillness. the calm before the storm. I didnt feel myself. I felt like i was standing on the outside looking in. That whole day. Then Sunday morning, seeing how huge it was, covering almost the entire Gulf. There were chills that ran through me and i got goose bumps. I swear i saw hell in my eyes for a second there. I just knew. I just had the feeling i had to get out. No matter what the traffic would be like. I had to go. Everyone had to go.

How did I react to each obstacle? It just happened. My adrenaline was pumping so hard that i just did what i had to do. It was all surreal, still feel that way now sometimes. But, then my mind had some other control over it that made me work on automatic. Some of the things i did, i regret now. But, you just don't know how you'll react until your put in that position. I think i let my heart rule more than my mind.

Listening to my friends and family. From just getting in touch with them the first time after the storm through to know. Things are said and most of it was so harsh to honestly take in. You just accepted what happened and smiled, hugged and held on so tight and cried. They were all you had left.

I have regrets of things i wish i would have done in the early days. But, like my brother said, having the military point their rifles at your head isnt fun. And knowing they would have shot made it worse.

The Waffle House. I remember parts of that. Dave has told me alot of what happened, thats what brought it back to my memoory. I remember arguing with her and being thrown out the door very clearly. But, the other patrons all walking out. I dont rmember that from my memory. And I do regret what i did there. She had every right to feel that way. Hell, the entire gulf coast region invaded the rest of the U.S. with a vengence. We tried to be polite about it.

I dont know how to heal. Supposedly, this is a way of healing according to my t. We'll see what happens.

Rio, i still feel like that too. Especially more becuase I put myself 'out there'. I had alot of encouragment to post it. I first, was only going to pm or email to some individuals, but it got bigger than me.

I dont want to push you into posting your story. But, it may help you. And, i'm here if you have any other quesions you'd like to ask.

Thanks for reading my thread.

Oh heck yeah (((((katheryn)))))) I totally agree with you. There are so many people much worse off than i am. At least i got a bucket and amonia for a toilet.

I can't wait to see the Green houses, i think thats what they are called. The houses that Brad Pitt's organization is building. These homes are suppose to be earth friendly. I'm wondering if i'm gonna see Ed Begley Jr's running around the 9th ward. I really hope it works out for them. Alot of lives were lost there.

I know a few friends that did come back and rebuild in the 9th ward. They are Good People, and want to do good things.

Thanks for saying it was well written. When i got finished writing it and saw how long it was. I said no way to re-reading, even spell check. Hope there werent many mistakes.

When my friends come down here to visit now. Its so heartbreaking hearing them talk. They only notice the bad things. They dont see the street signs, stop signs we just got. Man, having that is a luxury. No more hand painted signs anywhere. We becoming high class, ya know.lol They see that Springers Furniture is still sitting there busted up with a boat inside. They talk nothing but the gloom of here. I live it. And i try my hardest not to see it. When i see my friends i tell them about B&J's seafood having come back. About running into a mutual friend that moved back. The awesome houses people are building.
that doesnt seem to matter to them. I think they are mad at themselves becuase they did not come back and its their way of dealing with it. Just like i have my way and everyone else theirs.

Yes, love is what carried us through this and still is. Courage, i dont know, i feel so much like the cowardly lion. But to the 'Yats. Yeah ya right 'bout that. Nutin' gonna stop a 'yat from going home.

((((((((Thank you Rayna)))))))

Thank you(((((((Clyde))))). Right now we have to put our hearts, prayers, thoughts, and hands to the people in Kentucky, Tenn, and the other areas that just got wiped by Mother Nature. There is no place on this earth safe. No wehre that I know of. And we need to take care of our own.

I dropped some of my clothes off, ones that no longer fit, at the Red Cross this evening. They are suppose to send a truck up that way on Saturday. I hope it reaches the people who need it. From my experience with the Red Cross, well, I'm not gonna go there.

Just keep those in your hearts.

Nice job Cuz! The first step to getting better. Always here if you need me. Phone me anytime!

Chalm, I want you to know that I read your story, and it was well worth reading. I hope that telling your story helps you to heal. While I have heard the stories of others, each one is unique, and for those of us who have no idea what it was like for you, well, we still haven't been there, but there is nothing like knowing your story and your experience of what happened to you, and how you dealt with it, from a real person we know who is our friend and a part of our community. Thanks for sharing your story with us.

Rap

(((((chal))))) You truly are an inspiration, you are brave, intelligent, and humble. I am honored to call you friend.

i love you my friend...still standing

Thanks cajun coz,

My t today was so overjoyed i went through with posting it here like she asked me to. Now she wants me to write about the following month. I told her next month i'll work on that. She asked me what kinds of responses i received from ya'll and i ws telling her a little. She wants me to print it and bring next week. (I kinda got an awful memory).

Thanks (((Cajun))). And i hope you feeling better too. You gotta come down one day. We could go hit Rocky's and get a hot roast beef.

ginormous first step!! not easy but you've started and there's no telling what you'll accomplish now that you've started this stage of the healing journey!

huge applause and cheers from the west coast

Rapunzel, thank you. I'm touched by your response. I'm glad I was able to get this first week out and tell ya'll. There is a hell of alot more. But, putting things to days they happened after that first week is almost impossible. My t wants me to write about how the following week affected me. But so, so much happend. You think this first week is long. The month would be 30 pages and i'd probably be bouncing all over the place.

I'm not ready to get into that area of the aftermath yet. So much anger and saddness. I can't do that right now to myself. But, when i am ready i will post and let you know.

Your so true about everyone having their own story. With us down here the first thing you ask someone is, 'Did you come back home?", then its " Are you in your house yet?". Then the conversation goes to life back then and works its way to now.

Thank you again (((((((Rapunzel)))))))

love,
chalmette

((((((((AAA)))))))) and (((((((((blue))))))))

I love you two too!!!! I hope i'm still standing. Oh guess what, we have one working toilet in the house now. The plumbers finished this afternoon with getting all the marsh mud out of the cast iron pipes. Next step is taking out the cast iron and putting in pvc pipes. Then we'll have all the sinks, showers and toilets working like they should be. We'll probably throw a party that day!

Yahooooooooooooooo!!!!

You are amazing (((((((((((Chalmette)))))))))))

And I agree about Red Cross...

(((((AAA)))) and (((((wanttoheal))))

Yes it is such a luxury to use a real working toilet. I go in there just to flush it sometimes. lol

Only thing i can say at this moment about Red Cross is make material donations to them, not money. When I was applying with SBA, FEMA, they were all in the same building. I was told to apply to Red Cross, that i was eligible for $250.00 and an affadavit for 5 outfits at the local Salvation Army.

At my job prior to the storm, i was only making 16,000 a year. I had maybe 400 in my checking accout, which i had to use for bills. Plus buy clothes, deo, hairbrush, all theos necessities. I ended up using most of the 400 for food, clothes and necessities in the first two weeks. None of it for bills. I didnt know where i was going. First i needed a job, because my job was gone. Then my truck broke down and i needed an entire new fuel system and gas tank. Which i had to get a SBA loan to have that fixed. Its a mess. anyway Red Cross didnt help me at all. They turned me down, saying the damages i received were not worthy of their donation. So, i said f'em. I was always giving to Red Cross, always, and when i needed help they told me i wasn't worth their trouble.

I cant remember where i was going with this. I guess missing two doses of meds has me screwed up right now. I'm sorry.

And i thank you both..

chalmette

Chal

I have no words, I just read this......

I cant see too well, my eyes are full, just, you ARE so brave, and strong and I love you. You have made this massive step in your life to learn to deal with it all..... thankyou for posting this, it puts everything into perspective for me....

I don't want to give you a cyber hug ... I want to just hold you

stay strong Chal ... love you girl.... Kerry xxxxx