Did something stupid

If you're in the UK, and are upset by reading about violence, I'd recommend NOT buying the most recent copy of Eve magazine...I bought it just before going on holiday, and there was an article written by a survivor of Columbine...no warning on the cover, or there's no way I'd have gone anywhere near it. Managed to skip over the article the first time I read the magazine, but it was around the whole holiday (my sister read it, too), and eventually I decided to read the article because I thought I'd be ok...but then, I always think that. I can picture it now, and I couldn't before...and it's making me feel pathetic because the way the writer told it it just seems so much worse than "mine", but she was brave enough to write and I can't even talk about it, really. I can picture the one at my school, too, but I know that only a few of the images I have are "real"...the rest, I've just imagined after reading or hearing about it. I have no idea what it was really like. So once again I ask myself, just what am I so worked up about anyway, when half of what I "remember" is just in my head?

(Apologies if this doesn't make much sense - it's late. )

it makes perfect sense....half of what you "remember" is just in your head? that means the other half is real...and it's a rough thing to go thru...i know tho i don't talk about why...but i will say this...quit being so hard on yourself...that stuff is not easy to live with...and stupid mags like that don't give warnings coz they don't care about triggering people...they just care about selling copies

((((((((Rio))))))))

(((((Kalamity_Jane))))) Thanks. I'm glad it makes sense. I just don't understand how "memories" that aren't actually real can affect me.

I'm sorry you know what it's like. Thanks...you're right about the magazines, like I said I never would have bought it if I'd known.

Rio, all we experience, made up or "actually" is ours and just as real as any other part. There's no way to compare to any one else's experience because no one else is you! No one else was your age, with your background, with your thoughts, with your experience, etc. Not all tragedies are alike, just because they are the same "subject" and you put in the individual witnessing or hearing about or experiencing it and you have a million different possibilities. You should be here in the U.S. with the 9-11 experience; 99.9% of the people traumatized weren't even there. The media and one's own fears and beliefs will give one a run for one's money.

Take care of yourself, you hear? No reading stuff just because you're bored. That's almost worst for me because I'm not as on guard.

((((((((Rio))))))))
you made perfect sense. We all take things in differently - that's why we can't compare to others. what effects you is real.

Kiya

ps after reading your posts i always have an evening of Duran Duran playing through my head =)

Thanks, Perna. That's a good point, I hadn't really thought about it like that before. Most of us in the class were the same age and witnessing the same thing, but other than that none of us were really alike.

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Take care of yourself, you hear? No reading stuff just because you're bored. That's almost worst for me because I'm not as on guard.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> Thanks, I'll try. (I nearly managed not to read that article - if the magazine hadn't been hanging around the whole week I probably would have avoided it - so I guess that's an improvement ).

(((((Kiya))))) Thanks, that's true.

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ps after reading your posts i always have an evening of Duran Duran playing through my head =)

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I am sorry Rio. Do you live in UK? Silly me thought you lived in US. I was thinking as I read the thread that you have already had a lot of trauma besides whatever happened at school. I hope you are feeling better.

Thanks, wisewoman. That's ok, most people here are from the US. I live in Scotland...I went to Dunblane Primary School.

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I was thinking as I read the thread that you have already had a lot of trauma besides whatever happened at school.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> Wow, I'm not sure what to say...what do you mean?

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I hope you are feeling better.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> Thanks.

i want to visit scotland.