[Tinna]

Ok ...please let me know... if you feel the same way....my PTSD..is from a childhood of sexual abuse...I use to be sacred and embarrssed...of what happened to me...I'm 22 now..and seeking help...I no longer feel scared or embarrssed..I'm just angry now!!! I'm so angry ....and i just don't understand...why me?..why anyone? I angry at my father doing the things he did...I'm angry at my mother for letting it happen to me...I'm angry..because I feel like NO ONE around me..understands....they just don't understand what I'm dealing with .... day after day. I feel and and alone on this matter...Is it ok for me...to want my parents to pay for what they have done??? Is it ok to hate them? Is it ok to still miss having parents? Even though..I had the worse parents in the history of parents...I still miss having parents...or maybe I just long for...parents I've never had...I dunno..anyone understand where I'm coming from? I feel so alone

[Sannah]

I am sorry Tinna that you had to go through that. It isn't fair. Every child deserves a good upbringing but many of us didn't get it. I wasn't abused but I was neglected. Why us? Because our parents were messed up. Why were they messed up? Because their parents were messed up. You are going to break the cycle because you are getting help!

I am so glad that you have come to the point where you are no longer scared or embarrassed! Good work! Anger is certainly a normal reaction. Whatever you are feeling is valid.

I was angry at my mom until I realized that she didn't neglect me on purpose. She had a lot of problems. My situation doesn't apply to your situation, however, because it is different. I am sure that you are working with your therapist on this.

[Tinna]

Thank you for your kind thoughts...yes I am working on my issues...I just wish the anger would go away...I wanna be happy..I don't wanna be angry anymore...but it just wont go away...I'm so mad

[Sannah]

How long have you been angry?

[RozG]

((((((Tinna)))))

i have ptsd for the same reason....all your feelings are normal.

i wish you well with the help you are seeking...and i'm here to for you if you want ok.

[Angel_of_the_Past]

(((((Tinna)))))

For all you have been through, I think what you feel is to be expected.
Hugs from Angel

[missboots]

Tinna, I understand! This has happened to me as well!

[1oxbowgirl]

Tinna, I understand the anger you are going through. Although, my abuse was not sexual or at least as much as I remember at this point, I had lots of anger from the phyical and emotional abuse I dealt with from my father and his mother. Now I am just trying to put the pieces back together and figure out why. I went back home recently to ask my mother who claimed of having no knowledge of the abuse even though she was present during some of it, why she let it happen. Totally denial. Other relatives gave me a clearer picture of what was going on at the time of the abuse. So I am growing in awareness of the how, but since both my father and grandmother have died, the why of it will never truly be answered. But I as you, am working with a T, that hopefully will help my brain deal with what happened so that a true healing from the hurt of the past can take place. Best of luck to you. 1Girl

[Tinna]

I've been angry like this for the past month...its a new feeling...but it just won't go away

[Sannah]

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Tinna said:
I've been angry like this for the past month...its a new feeling...but it just won't go away

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Maybe because you have to work through it first? All of us got to these places because we were taught that our feelings didn't matter so we go on with life believing that our feelings don't matter and this is where we are. Our feelings do matter and when we understand this and give our feelings and, therefore, us all the respect that they deserve, then things will start to work better.

((((((((((((((((Tinna))))))))))))))))))))

you are so not alone sweetheart .... you have been through hell and back ... yes it IS ok to still miss having loving, caring, protecting parents .... i miss having them .... mine are useless, unkind, never protected me ... i could go on .... I miss having a proper mum in my life SO much and I'm 43 ..... !!!!

you are also entitled to feel angry because underneath anger is hurt. We all ask the same questions 'why me' the only positive thing to come out of abuse is the fact that most abuse survivors
grow into caring, compassionate and understanding individuals with the ability to sense and know danger and the signs to protect their own children .....

We all heal at our own pace. Don't be rushed or pushed. Journal, write down your feelings if it helps, i know it does a lot of people. You are not alone, not here, holding your hand ..... i hear you hon .... hugs and lots of love, Jinnyann xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

[Tinna]

Thank you to everyone..It feels better knowing...im not alone..my life is confusing and hard right now..don't know what to...so im just gonna take life one day at a time. Thank you for all your kind words