Flying and Panic

<font color="green"> I have had a perfectly awful day. It started last night, dh was at a fly-in and since it was in town here he wanted me to come with him and spend the night in the motor home with him. Well, I have been doing better with whole flying thing and it seemed a small thing to please him so I did.

There was no plug in and we couldn’t run the generator so that it was miserably hot until around oh, 3 a.m. when it was too cold to sleep. Dh got up at 5:30 to go flying but it was foggy so he woke me up and insisted on talking until the fog cleared. I tried to sleep some more but with the sun up it was too hot again.

I went home and then back to town to pick up the camcorder and youngest dd who just came back from camp. She packed up some stuff and then I took her to meet up with dh at the next stop on his ‘gypsy fly-in.’ they go to several different airports and fly around then pack up to go to the next one. Three airports in 4 days.

I took youngest dd to the next place and they jumped into the plane and took off. Oldest dd and I relaxed in the motor home. Then dh pushed me into taxiing with him on the runway. I have been working hard to overcome my fear of flying in that little go-cart with a parachute for a wing. I

was scared but I was handling it until he decided to show me how it would feel ‘when we take off.’ I hit total panic and was screaming no and stop at him. With the noise of the motor he didn’t hear until I was crying. Oh to add to my embarrassment all his buddies and another woman who had had her first flight yesterday and loved it were watching us. Finally he brought the thing to a stop and I was able to get off. I was shaking so bad. I said I want to go home. Now. I went into the motor home to get my things and dh followed. He made me stay until I was calmer. I got out of there as soon as I could.

On the way home I had several minor panic attacks but got home safely. I am so sore and still so tense. I keep having more little spasms of terror flash backs to the whole thing and a bit of mad at dh. He knew I was scared he knew I was trying to work though it and still he did this to me. I just want to to to …. I don’t know what. I am so tired and I am afraid to go to bed and maybe dream about it.


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(((((dalila)))))

sounds like he thought if you just tried it you would be ok. i am agoraphobic, and when i first started having problems my hubby tried similar "torture" techniques on me. he meant well, and has since realized that all it does is erode the trust that i have in him.

take a nice hot bath, or shower to try to help ease the muscle tension. do you know how to do any breathing exercises or meditation to calm the mind?

sorry you had to go through this.

lost

<font color="green">I finally got to see my therapist today. We worked on 'safe places' and used EMDR and I feel so much better. I love my therapist. I think I will actually sleep tonight. </font>

good to hear ((((dalila))))))

Maybe this is off the wall but I find myself wondering if having had PTSD it makes me more susceptible to having new experiences cause flashbacks and such.