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#1
Feb 16, 2009, 07:02 AM
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it's 4:58am: And I have tossed and turned all night long.. Just wondering about everything in my life.. I'm living with my boyfriend and he says he understands what I'm going through.. But I really don't feel the support from him..
Having to always explain my feeling to him when there are times I don't even know why I'm feeling what I'm feeling.. And he is the type that He has gone through it all.. He has hurt more than anyone.. he has all the answers..? We will start talking about what i'm feeling or going through and some where it changes to him.. and what he has gone through.. When I fall the other day and we were in the ER.. He tells me that I'm not going through as much pain as he has felt when he broke his leg ect. ect.... So I just keep quiet about what I'm feeling anymore especially to him.. Thank you for this site.. and for the wonderful people on here.. for letting me vent.. because at times I just want to throw in the towel. Corine |
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#2
Feb 16, 2009, 08:04 AM
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corine, have you gone into therapy for your ptsd? i believe you would benefit with this approach and find support there too. i'm sorry to hear that you bf doesn't validate your feellings. that must be hard for you. let us know how u are doing cause we care about you.
  
__________________
Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand |
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#3
Feb 16, 2009, 08:11 AM
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I have called one person but he is never in or never returns my call.. |
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#4
Feb 16, 2009, 08:12 AM
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I felt the same way when I was with my longtime boyfriend. I felt so alone, even when he was right there. He said he cared, but I didn't feel it. I wasn't in treatment then on dealing with my PTSD so I was completely shut down, I think. I had so many emotional barriers up that as badly as I wanted to be cared for, I was terrified of it, too.
Do you think you could sit down and talk about this more with your boyfriend? With your therapist, even? He may not realize how some of the things he says affect you. I can really relate to the feeling that you should just keep quiet. But that's no way to live. My heart goes out to you. |
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#5
Feb 16, 2009, 08:19 AM
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I have talked to my Boyfriend about it.. and have shared my feelings with him.. but it always goes back to the same thing.. That is why i just shut down. because it doesn't make a difference.. no matter how much i talk.. no matter how much I share... Then maybe its me??? Maybe like you sa y i'm afraid to be cared for... because when ever someone says they care i'm always on guard on what do they really want from me.. to me there is always a motive on the caring... and it always comes out.. don't know if you know what i mean... |
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#6
Feb 20, 2009, 07:38 PM
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maybe he is jsut trying to tell you that he cares -if he is - hes not doing a good job but hey ptsd can be hard for our close people - dont know what to suggest - you seem to have done it already - just know that im thinking of you and sending you calm thoughts P7
__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts  its how many times you get back up!   (Thanks to fenrir for my Picture )When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly. by Patrick Overton, author and poet |
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#7
Feb 22, 2009, 03:48 PM
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#8
Feb 22, 2009, 04:38 PM
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(((Corine)))))))))))))))))) your pain is your own as you are the only one who knows how hard it is on you.
Im glad you have talked to him and he listened take care of you muffy |
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#9
Feb 22, 2009, 06:47 PM
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Im glad you talked about it and have made progress - well done for sticking with it
__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts its how many times you get back up! (Thanks to fenrir for my Picture )When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly. by Patrick Overton, author and poet |
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#10
Feb 22, 2009, 08:16 PM
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#11
Feb 23, 2009, 02:42 AM
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My wife is the same way, she has detached herself from me and the kids, she is guarded, and told me as much, she doesn't need or want affection atm. We have talked a log and I now understand a lot about PTSD and how it's affecting her. As much as it hurts to hear her say I love you, but I don't get the intimacy I want or need, I understand and let her deal. Maybe if your B/F totally understood what you need and don't need, he would be better with his comapssion. I have learned a lot in the last month and it hurts me at times, but I love her and what she needs, she gets. Communicating your true feelings, that sometimes you honestly don't know what's wrong, and that you may or may not need this or that...let him know. I hope things get better for you! GL and God Bless! |
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#12
Feb 23, 2009, 09:29 AM
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Well we have been doing alot of talking lately..And myself being the one going through this sometimes it is hard to communicate what is going on when I don't even know what or why i'm feeling these way. But I have done alot of praying and Asking God to give me the ability to be able to talk and understand.. I want to get better. I'm tired of feeling like this.. And I want to start enjoying life.. I was always a happy go luck person.. and Then bamb! it all changed.. But as i have learned here baby steps...one thing at a time.. Thank you so much for your post.. and i hope that all goes well with you and your family.. Its so hard.. But if there is love and understanding then it can get better... God Bless you also..
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#13
Feb 23, 2009, 10:05 AM
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Corine, I am glad that you discovered something about yourself that was holding you back from your bf and that you worked on it! Good work! Here is a link for state mental health services for New Mexico.
http://www.bhc.state.nm.us/BHTools/getHelp.html
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#14
Feb 23, 2009, 10:41 PM
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LOL.. Thank you |
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#15
Feb 24, 2009, 10:19 AM
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__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#16
Feb 24, 2009, 12:31 PM
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Again, GL and God Bless!!! |
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#17
Feb 24, 2009, 07:00 PM
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you hang in there also.. and you sure seem like you are doing your part with your wife... i will keep you both up in prayer.. Corine
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#18
Feb 24, 2009, 07:08 PM
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thats great Corine, I hope you can get a T now.
__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts its how many times you get back up! (Thanks to fenrir for my Picture )When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly. by Patrick Overton, author and poet |
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#19
Feb 24, 2009, 07:11 PM
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#20
Feb 25, 2009, 02:30 AM
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Great! That's really good news.
GL and God Bless! |
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#21
Feb 25, 2009, 07:41 AM
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#22
Feb 25, 2009, 08:42 AM
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 Sannah
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#23
Feb 25, 2009, 05:17 PM
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I hope the judge rules in your favour and that you can get a T
__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts its how many times you get back up! (Thanks to fenrir for my Picture )When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly. by Patrick Overton, author and poet |
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#24
Feb 25, 2009, 06:10 PM
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thank you Phoenix you are such a great friend and an encouragement
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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