[Taonuviel]

I stopped taking the Zyprexa(anti-depressant booster, not for psychosis) - I know, it's not a good idea to mess with one's own medicine, but I couldn't take the side effects anymore - THEY were depressing. I've gone from a size 10 to a size 14 in less than 2 months, I feel energyless from this extra weight, can't fit my clothes - it's a mess. But now, without any Zyprexa left in my system I'm feeling the effects. It's not like it ever worked much, but it did reduce my suicidal thoughts, they're stronger again. I'm also feeling like doing nothing but sleeping or comfort-food-eating and throwing around "why am I bothering?" in my mind again. It's another week before I see my new psychiatrist. It's so hard to stay motivated to fight through this, and I don't know if I can. I'm not sure what to do at this point. I see my case manager Tuesday morning... I just keep thinking "what's the point?" I don't think I want my thoughts to get worse, but if they do, then what? I have no idea if I'll keep myself safe.
I'm perplexed.

[dottie]

Let us know how you feel after your Dr.s appt. also your case manager.

~Dottie





~Life is just a bowl of cherries~

[Parker10]

Perhaps you should start back on the Zyprexa until you see the PDoc to get on something new. If you havet been off it too long, some is still in your system, and won't take long to kick in - since you now know it was helping you. I understand totally about weight gain, I was on an anti depressant once that caused me ALOT of weight gain - but I decided - "HEY - I can be fat and happy, or slim and sick".......I went with the FAT ! Thank goodness they realized I didnt need an antidepressant after about a year, and once I was off it, I lost the weight. But, sometimes I guess we have to weigh the benefits/side effects and decide which is the lesser of 2 evils. Good luck - and I hope that you start feeling better !

[Taonuviel]

I can't do it... I start obsessing with eating disorder-type thoughts... I used to try that. I don't have the willpower (for either) now, but I can't bear the weight - I can't bear myself like that... I feel energyless and crummy one way with it, another way without it. Urgh... my thoughts! I wish I could just cease.

[h0kie]

When hubby decided to stop a medication, his pdoc (we called her Dr. Quack ) asked that we call and let her know in the future. Maybe just call your new pdoc and leave a message. That way, they know what is going on and can prepare for it for your appointment. May save you some time at your appointment.

[bipolar_bear]

Maybe you could call your new pdoc and let him know what you have done and possibly he can suggest what to do until you see him. It is always better to keep them informed of what you are doing rather than to wait until you see them. I know what you are feelling about the weight problem as I too experienced that. There are many meds out there and with some trial and error I hope you can find a combination that is weight neutral and works for you. It took me some time but we finally came up with something that works.

If nothing else talk to your case manager and maybe she can contact your pdoc in the meantime. Please let them know what is going on with you.

[Taonuviel]

I don't feel safe... I don't know what to do. I can't get ahold of any of the residence staff for now... and I can't call anyone because my roommate's asleep. I'm afraid to make a big deal because I don't want them to think I shouldn't live on campus - that's so important to me! I'm a spiritual leader this year... and I know this is a seperate problem - my mind isn't regulated medicinally... I've been doing better spiritually.... I just need to get regulated... urgh. I'm going to have to think of something to do.