Depakote vs. Tomopax? Help!

I went to see my pdoc today and told him how my moods are COMPLETELY out of control (btw. I'm bipolar). I've been drinking myself to death every night and spent 1000$ on credit cards in the past week.

I'm currently just taking 30mg abilify and 200mg lamictal (down from 450mg). I was taking Emsam (an MAOI patch) but it made me more manic than ever and I would be up for weeks with no sleep.

Anyways, last week he started me on Trileptal again (which I was on when I was 19 and I ended up in the lock-down psych ward while on it) but decided to take me off of it because its obviously not working yet again.

SO...now he's given me two options, depakote or toopmax.
I'm terrified of both after reading the literature he gave me about the sideeffects of both.
Depakote: SEVERE weight gain (and with an ED (currently bulemia, but used to be anorexia and bulemia) it would kill me, literally, because I went from 115 at 5'9 to 180now and I disgust myself) AND hair loss!
Tomopax: cognitive impairment and slow thinking. Just what I need my final year of college. Like my GPA needs to be any lower than it already is. But ive heard it causes weight loss so im leaning towards it for that reason alone.

Does anyone have any experience/advice?

I have to do something, im cutting often and deep, drinking to much and ODing regularly and constantly thinking of ways to off myself for good this time, not that im planning to right now.

Please help me. I need it more than ever.

I have been on both.

Depakote: Puked my guts out for a solid 10 days. Hair loss, bruising, mega-sedation (constant oversleeping, which did not make my employer happy!).

Topamax: Significant weight loss. One day my entire food intake for the day was a donut hole (a little mini-donut). I felt like I had just finished a 7-course gourmet meal, and I couldn't eat another thing. Didn't do a thing for my mood, unfortunately.

So, those are my experiences ... but they are just my experiences .... everyone reacts differently to everything. The first 3 weeks I was on Effexor, I had to be peeled off the ceiling -- I'm not usually manic, but I got a taste of it then. (Ick, btw!) Other people I know who have started Effexor have had incredible lethargy and tiredness. So, bottom line, as always -- you don't know how you'll react till you try it.

Good luck.

Candy

Hi, Kelly...nice to meet you!

I began Depakote approximately 15 years ago. The main side effect I had was almost constant diarrhea. Due to that pdoc switched me to Depakote ER after a couple of years. That made all the difference and I have experienced none of the negative side effects with it.

I don't have any knowledge of Tomopax. I am in the process now of being switched from Depakote ER to Lamictal so right now I'm on both. Have you talked to your pdoc about Lamictal? It might provide another option.

Good luck to you! I know these drug choices are so hard.