[AuroraBorealis75]

Start an antidepressant and it triggers hypomania. Add quetiapine and I'm dull, stupid, and fat. Get hooked on zopiclone due to chronic insomnia. Still have problems with anxiety. Come off Celexa because I keep going hypomanic. Start Welbutrin. Start purging because I hate my fat body. Stop Welbutrin because purging while on Welbutrin can cause seizures. Go on Cymbalta. Try this, try that. Try Abilify because of weight gain from quetiapine, and it makes my anxiety worse. Stop Abilify. Move to another province. Try neurofeedback therapy with no luck. Try another anti-anxiety drug and it gives me insomnia and restlessness. Stop that drug. Go off Cymbalta because it's not covered in my new province and it's bloody expensive. End up suicidal and in hospital for 9 days. Start Cipralex. Been on that for a month and I'm still depressed and having anxiety attacks. Now I'm on lorazepam (1 mg twice daily for 5 days). This has been going on since 2003. I don't know what to do anymore. I wish I had never started taking an antidepressant to begin with.

[convalescence]

Your story sounds oddly similar to mine.

I started Lexapro for anxiety in the winter of this year. It triggered some sort of episode in me. Had a psychotic episode after poor sleep. Admitted self to psychward. Get put on Effexor and Abilify. Feel great for a month. Change to Wellbutrin. Effexor withdrawal. Wellbutrin makes me not want to eat. Stops Wellbutrin. Gets put on Remeron. Gets "bipolar" diagnosis. Upped Abilify to 5mg. Made me extremely anxious. Come off of Abilify. Go on Zyprexa. Go on Effexor again. Zyprexa makes me gain a lot of weight and exacerbates depression. Go to hospital again. Switch from Zyprexa to Geodon. Geodon feels okay. Get home. Somehow gets sent involuntarily to a psychward. Gets put on so many medications that I don't even want to recall. Comes home from hospital. Only stays on Wellbutrin and Remeron. No psychosis. No mania. Odd? And now I'm planning on stopping Wellbutrin.

I decided to share my story with you, because I, too, wish I would have never taken an antidepressant. I would have had a better year if my doctor never prescribed me one to begin with.

[Sneezyyy]

Originally Posted by convalescence

Your story sounds oddly similar to mine.

I started Lexapro for anxiety in the winter of this year. It triggered some sort of episode in me. Had a psychotic episode after poor sleep. Admitted self to psychward. Get put on Effexor and Abilify. Feel great for a month. Change to Wellbutrin. Effexor withdrawal. Wellbutrin makes me not want to eat. Stops Wellbutrin. Gets put on Remeron. Gets "bipolar" diagnosis. Upped Abilify to 5mg. Made me extremely anxious. Come off of Abilify. Go on Zyprexa. Go on Effexor again. Zyprexa makes me gain a lot of weight and exacerbates depression. Go to hospital again. Switch from Zyprexa to Geodon. Geodon feels okay. Get home. Somehow gets sent involuntarily to a psychward. Gets put on so many medications that I don't even want to recall. Comes home from hospital. Only stays on Wellbutrin and Remeron. No psychosis. No mania. Odd? And now I'm planning on stopping Wellbutrin.

I decided to share my story with you, because I, too, wish I would have never taken an antidepressant. I would have had a better year if my doctor never prescribed me one to begin with.

Thanks for sharing

[vonmoxie]

I feel the same way about my experiences with anti-depressants. For me, every attempt I've made with them seems to have taken me further and further from feeling capable of conquering my own demons. I was in a good degree of distress when I first sought help and was told I was a good "candidate" for anti-depressant therapy, but I'm a wreck now in ways I couldn't have even imagined then. AD's took me from struggling all the way to hopeless.

I can't even remember the whole list of them that I got involved with but it included Zoloft, Lexapro, Wellbutrin, Strattera, and Cymbalta, over many more years than I care to admit even to myself when I consider just how long I waited to experience positive benefit. I kept being told we just had to "get it right". Meanwhile, I lost a decade of my life hinging my state of mind on a pharmaceutical prayer.

[Mrs. Mania]

I love seroquel sleep, but HATE the zombie I am the next day

[mcl6136]

My experience with ADs...a complete misadventure. Prescribe 150 mg of Zoloft and went into a mania and then SI. My state o' mind was so bad that a friend could hear how distressed I was while talking on the phone and instructed me to the hospital.

Never again.

[blohan]

Originally Posted by AuroraBorealis75

Start an antidepressant and it triggers hypomania. Add quetiapine and I'm dull, stupid, and fat. Get hooked on zopiclone due to chronic insomnia. Still have problems with anxiety. Come off Celexa because I keep going hypomanic. Start Welbutrin. Start purging because I hate my fat body. Stop Welbutrin because purging while on Welbutrin can cause seizures. Go on Cymbalta. Try this, try that. Try Abilify because of weight gain from quetiapine, and it makes my anxiety worse. Stop Abilify. Move to another province. Try neurofeedback therapy with no luck. Try another anti-anxiety drug and it gives me insomnia and restlessness. Stop that drug. Go off Cymbalta because it's not covered in my new province and it's bloody expensive. End up suicidal and in hospital for 9 days. Start Cipralex. Been on that for a month and I'm still depressed and having anxiety attacks. Now I'm on lorazepam (1 mg twice daily for 5 days). This has been going on since 2003. I don't know what to do anymore. I wish I had never started taking an antidepressant to begin with.

I am also starting to think that medicine's make everything worse.

[The_little_didgee]

A lot of medications made me worse. I think it was because the doses were too high. I'm sensitive to medications and discovered that lower than normal doses work very well. I don't get as much side effects and so-called symptoms (extreme side effects) that are misinterpreted as mental illness.

I really regret the day in 1994 that I agreed to take Zoloft. It was 9 months of pure hell.

[ofthevalley]

I regret my time of Zoloft too. It really wrecked my life

[Suraya]

I totally agree. I think the day I started antidepressants was my decent into hell. What started as mild depression is now total hopelessness after trying dozens of medications. I never used to feel suicidal and now I can't imagine living this life. I think the meds have caused more harm.

[lilacflame]

i was just thinking this today! first i was on a really old antidepressant (currently cant remember the name of it) - then lexapro (major regret) switched to cymbalta (currently doing reasonably well on this) but since my dosage of lamictal was increased I feel like a zombie and went from feeling too much to just feeling numb. Its either one extreme or the other, huh

[AuroraBorealis75]

Thanks for all the replies.

Medication is so frustrating. Now that I am on medication I feel like there is no hope of ever coming off of them. I've tried at various points even just reducing meds, but with no success. If anyone is reading this who is NOT on medication, please think very carefully about the ramifications of being on medication. Try EVERYTHING available to you before even thinking about taking medication.

[convalescence]

AuroraBorealia75, what medications are you on? If you don't mind me asking.

[ChipperMonkey]

Thinking back.....what is your primary issue? Are you depressed as a result of anxiety or are you anxious as a result of depression?

If you're depressed as a result of anxiety, I just say no wonder you went hypomanic while on an antidepressant. You need anxiety meds and not antidepressants. You don't need more and more and more meds in order to control side effects from the meds you're already taking.

Maybe start coming off the meds one by one. Start exploring medications that attack your anxiety.

Your seratonin levels may be normal. What happens when you give someone with normal seratonin levels a drug that boosts seratonin even further? Yep, they go hypomanic. It may just mean that this class of drugs is not for you.

[nataliepatricia6183]

What are your diagnoses?

[Spaceyspace]

Same here. Over 20 years of so many meds. The "side effects" in some cases were illnesses in their own right. Geodon gave me seizures. Seroquel gave me terrible akathesia. Part of the problem was that i had a terrible "psychiatric nurse prescriber" who i kept going to, for the worst years, so that was my fault. I was too doped up on this junk to think clearly and end the "treatment."

Im lucky now, with ethical providers.

[AuroraBorealis75]

Currently I am on Seroquel, Trazadone, Zopiclone, and Cipralex, but at various times I have been on different antidepressants (Celexa, Effexor, Wellbutrin, Cymbalta). I briefly tried Abilify and recently I tried Buspirone, but both of those increased my anxiety and insomnia.

Originally Posted by convalescence

AuroraBorealia75, what medications are you on? If you don't mind me asking.

[nataliepatricia6183]

Do you have schizophrenia, bi-polar depression just anxiety..what are yoursymptoms or diagnoses?

[AuroraBorealis75]

I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, depression, adjustment disorder, anxiety, PTSD, and borderline personality disorder.

[nataliepatricia6183]

I see..I also have borderline personality disorder- so I understand your issue with life and meds as well. Sometimes because of our personalities..no amount of medicine can take away the symptoms of the borderline. However that being said, you are on quite a cocktail of different things..maybe you should talk about simplifying the regime..I know for my borderline an atypical antips..has helped..first abilify and now Geoden..I also take Prozac and that helps a ton with any depression or anxiety..sometimes the dose has to be alterated to see what fits you. Klonopin helps with occasional anxiety
It also may have to have talk therapy or psychotherapy...with us borderlines we need to really let out all that steam..insecurity, rage impulsiveness..all needs to come out somewhere but in a way that's healthy. also..meds don't work as well when we aren't getting the nutrients we need with them. Like your daily vitamins and minerals like zinc , even potassium vitamin D fish oil that stuff h elps a lot with your meds

[nataliepatricia6183]

oh and magnesium is really important for anxiety- esp magnesium taurate and vitamin C is good too

[AuroraBorealis75]

Right now I don't want to try any more tinkering with my meds. The last 2 weeks I feel like my depression has been lifting. I just had the Seroquel increased from 300 mg to 450 mg. The last time I tried reducing some of the meds (Seroquel and Cymbalta) it really messed me up. I was trying neurofeedback therapy for awhile, but my therapist thought I would be better served by doing a form of psychotherapy called Lifespan Integration Therapy. I've also talked a lot about my attachment issues with my therapist. I've developed transference issues in relation to my therapist, and have been quite open with her about that. We've been doing a fair bit of work around that. Thankfully she has been open to discussing that with me, even though I told her that my transference includes what feels like romantic feelings for her. I have about 7 or 8 more sessions with her, and we are meeting every other week, so that will take me into March, and she is giving me some journalling homework, so I will be working on some of this in between sessions.

Originally Posted by nataliepatricia6183

I see..I also have borderline personality disorder- so I understand your issue with life and meds as well. Sometimes because of our personalities..no amount of medicine can take away the symptoms of the borderline. However that being said, you are on quite a cocktail of different things..maybe you should talk about simplifying the regime..I know for my borderline an atypical antips..has helped..first abilify and now Geoden..I also take Prozac and that helps a ton with any depression or anxiety..sometimes the dose has to be alterated to see what fits you. Klonopin helps with occasional anxiety
It also may have to have talk therapy or psychotherapy...with us borderlines we need to really let out all that steam..insecurity, rage impulsiveness..all needs to come out somewhere but in a way that's healthy. also..meds don't work as well when we aren't getting the nutrients we need with them. Like your daily vitamins and minerals like zinc , even potassium vitamin D fish oil that stuff h elps a lot with your meds

[waukarusa]

I just started taking Abilify along with Celexa and the insomnia is horrible. 3-4 hours per night is all I get. I hope that your experience improves.