quitting my meds

i am confused....
i have felt suicidal quite often since ive been seeking help....
or is it that i have been seeking help because i have become so suicidal.
so, since im suicidal either way, i see no purpose continuing the meds.

ack.

Come on CCL... you KNOW better than that. If the meds aren't helping, then you need to see your doctor and get new ones. And additional counselling if you're feeling that way. You're obviously a very intelligent woman -- so do the right thing. We're counting on you. Ping me if you want to vent or talk and I'll join you in Chat.

Love,
LMo

hey hun meds aren't a quick fix it takes up to a month for them to kick in please hang on!!!

Please keep yourself safe. Quitting the meds is NOT a good idea, I think everyone would agree on that, but if you are suicidal, please call someone, or talk to someone that you trust. I know you're having a very hard time right now but there are people here that are willing to try and offer you some help.

All else fails, visit the ER.....just do what you must to stay safe.

Many blessings,
Kimberly.

somehow......
i always get through this.
i know i will make it through again, but it is the most difficult thing i have ever done to resist it.

decided to take my meds tonite too.

There you go, feel what you feel, no way out of that proposition really any way, but then stick with your program. You are going to get to a better place with this, but only by sticking with it through this crappy part. I second LmO's observation, you are damn sure smart enough to do the right thing here. Don't make me dope slap you. LoL.

I'm glad you too them *claps* keep truckin if not for you do it for your kids *hugs*

YAY! Just take it one moment at a time hon if you have to. I'm proud of you and for you that you took your meds.

Many blessings,
Kimberly.

i got my meds switched....
dr said my bipolar is too severe to wait for lamictal to work....
so im on Depakote, and Ativan.
this depakote has me freaked out but i am gonna really try ... once again, to stick with this.
the meds are working already and its only been one day.

despite taking 3 ativans (only supposed to take 1) im still freakin up!
guess i should be doing the dishes or something productive but im sittin on this damn computer.
am i manic? cuz just yesterday i was suicidal?!
i just want these meds to WORK.....

Hello, from what I have been told by my therapist suicide is part of the bipolar. The example she gave was either one day or one week a person would be on top of the world then the next they would be suicidal.
Does the doctor know your taking 3 ativan a day? I believe that has the same side effects of xanax and that could be a problem also. Also let him know if you are taking any herbals along with the prescription meds. Its very important for you to do so. I haven't been on long or reading much so if I cover something that is already covered forgive me. Be sure to ask him questions lots and lots of questions. Did you have a psych evaluation done to be sure the bipolar is what you have. Use the tests here to print up and take to the therapist. I say therapist because a doctor will try and heal what you say is wrong and maybe something more that only a therapist can understand. I think you may need a med change again, but it is just my opinion I am not a doctor. Ask doctor about paxil or something more for anxiety?
Good luck
Peg

You know, my manic cycles land me in front of my computer screen for hours more than at other times too. My experience of the manic cycle is that it carries much less back lash on the depression side if I refrain from being as active as I feel on the manic. While I'm at the computer, I think i'm channeling the energy back into myself in a theraputic sense. Sure, I feel like a dork with no "life" when I spend a whole day here, but the worse I allow the swings to be, the less "life" I have anyway. Cut yourself a little slack on that one if you can.

jen, i'm so glad you decided to stick with the meds. i have seen a difference since you started the depakote and that's only been very recently... unless you're fooling me

Ryan

well, i never said i DECIDED to stick with them....
i really dont know what the hell im doing anymore.
just really need you guys to be my friend through this ...
this is the hardest thing i have ever done....
and i dont make any guarantees on whether or not i will endure this pain long enough to beat it.

you'd better endure it long enough to beat it. Or I'll beat you. And trust me, you do not want piss off a chick from Philly.

back to my old habits of quitting meds, self medicating, and doctor hopping......
stopped my depakote again after only 2 days, and started and stopped lamictal again in same day....
taking lots of ativan and klonopin just so i can resist the urge to kill .......
and drinking too much and hitting on guys like a raging slut....
im out of my mind and i hate it.
i know the answer....
it is so clear.
it is a bright white room with chicken wire look alike barred windows, and restraints on my arms and legs, and a medication drip in my vein.....
nothing can stop me, nothing can kill the foreign organism that lurks inside my mind...
no meds, nothing.......
i wish i could just fall into a deep coma and stay there til this all passes.

aww Hugs Sera, Don't give up on the meds or even herbals if that is your thing. It sometimes takes a long time to get a right mix of meds to find something that truly works. Do you have a hobby that might help keep your mind on things? I know it sounds lame but it might help..

Good luck
Peg

A loving reminder:

And that would leave your kids.....where?

trying.....
squirrel.... i do everything for my kids, always have. mommies need a break sometimes though.

Yeah they do, and you more than some. Just trying to help you keep your rudder in the water. Hope i'm not offending.