[crystalrose]

i wish that my therapist was my mom. i dont know what to do about this because it is a dumb wish and can never ever happen and i dont want it to, shes just so caring and motherly, she often calls to check if im ok on her days off and She hugs me.

I wont be able to see her soon because we are starting to terminate therapy and im starting to see someone new.

It's just so painful and scary.

[Amazonmom]

I'm sorry. It must be hard having to start all over when you don't want to leave the T you love so much.

Originally Posted by crystalrose

i wish that my therapist was my mom. i dont know what to do about this because it is a dumb wish and can never ever happen and i dont want it to, shes just so caring and motherly, she often calls to check if im ok on her days off and She hugs me.

I wont be able to see her soon because we are starting to terminate therapy and im starting to see someone new.

It's just so painful and scary.

[mightaswelllive]

ack feel your pain

[Christina86]

(((((((((((crystalrose)))))))))))))

Not a dumb wish. Unrealistic maybe (b/c your T can't be your mother) but not dumb... that means you've developed a strong attachment to your T and that they've been able to help you and you've come to depend on them and that they support you and that they genuinely like and care about you.

I'm sorry you've got to go through termination with her though, that really hurts and it really sucks.

[KUREHA]

Sorry you've got to see someone else, especially when you like who you see right now.

Take Care

[skeksi]

I'm sorry this is happening. It's wonderful, though, that you were able to attach to your T and develop a good relationship. That will stay with you, inside you, and nourish you, even when you don't see T anymore. The connection you have made will stay with you. Unfortunately, it still hurts.

[cmac13]

I am sorry you are going through so much pain with the termination. Can I ask why you need to terminate and start with someone new? Why can you not continue with what is working for you? I don't know what I would do if I were in your situation. I know I would feel so sad if my therapist and I needed to terminate therapy because it helps me so much with her and I cannot imagine working with anyone else since she has been my only therapist for so many years.

[rainbow8]

I'm sorry you're hurting. Even though my T and I are about the same age, I wished I were her daughter. It's not a dumb wish but it just can't come true, and that hurts! But like skeksi said, you can have her love inside of you forever. You have your memories of her always. Can you ask her to give you something to hold onto, maybe something in her writing? Will you be able to have any contact at all with her when you are finished?

[peaches100]

Crystalrose,

It is not dumb to wish your t was your mother. She has expressed genuine warmth and caring toward you. No doubt it has really touched your heart and you feel an attachment to her. She can't be your mom, but she can give you some of the good stuff that a mother would.

[crystalrose]

thanks for your replies, they made me cry.
I dont think i can handle the termination of therapy and i want to run.

[cmac13]

My therapist has said that if I look around me there are many "mothers" along the road of life. They may not be my biological mother but they can give the nurturing I need. She is one of them. I hope you find what you need to feel safe.

[crystalrose]

Originally Posted by cmac13

My therapist has said that if I look around me there are many "mothers" along the road of life. They may not be my biological mother but they can give the nurturing I need. She is one of them. I hope you find what you need to feel safe.

I dont know what to do about this becasue of the termination of therapy. i dont think i can cope with it. i feel warm feelings of love for my therapist and i dont even know if this is right. I have been crying about this a lot because im confused and sad. I wish something would happen and i wouldnt have to stop seeing her. this is not going to happen though

[Hunny]

Crystalrose:

How long will you have before having to say goodbye?

Can you make a special card for her or a letter so that, in a way, you leave something of you, for her. Perhaps ask her how it could be made a little easier on you both, or maybe you have already thought of this.

I really love my T too. It's really difficult to let go, even sad. We are still here with you.

Hunny

[crystalrose]

I didnt think that it was ok to love the therapist and im too afraid to tell her these feelings that i have, the pain of terminating is so great that i dont think that i will be able to deal with it and i dont know what to do.

[rainbow8]

crystal: Do you have a date for termination? Will you be able to contact your T at all after that time via phone or email? Do you have another T to see when you quit? Someone posted something similar (not sure if it's okay to say names or refer to someone else's thread) to what you're going through, and also posted in the "termination of therapy" social group.

Have you told your T how you feel about her? I'm sure she will understand how hard it is to leave her. I think it's important for you to tell her if you haven't. It's normal for many people in therapy to feel love for their T. It's okay and understandable, so don't feel embarrassed. I have had strong feelings for my T and had to leave her (many years ago, my first T) so I understand your pain. It really hurts to have to say good-bye when you feel you aren't ready.

How is your T helping you get through the termination? If you are going to see someone else, your new T will be able to help you process unresolved feelings for this T, but it's important for you to face it with your T even though it's painful.

[crystalrose]

I have another 4 - 6 months left. I am going to see a psychiatrist who will take over therapy with me. I have seen the psychiatrist twice about the medication. My T is coming along to the psychiatrist appts with me.

I will be able to call her after therapy and im going to ask for her email address also. T suggested that we go meet up and go have coffee ocassionally also. I hope this happens becuase people often say that when they are leaving. So maybe its not really going to be goodbye its just goodbye to therapy relationship.

Its still really painful though. I am really attatched to my T and i have told her that i wish she was my mum but i just kinda dropped it like a comment and i dont know if she knew how much i meant it.

[crystalrose]

its going to be soo hard when i cant see T anymore...

[Brightheart]

Yes, it will be very difficult. Have you talked to her yet about how you feel?