swearing in T

Background: I have always had trouble around anger, being that I always suppress it instead of acknowledging it. I have been working for years on being able to recognize it when I was angry so that I don't let it build up. I have been getting much better at realizing when things make me angry so I can address it. Before I would just be angry and not know it till weeks later and feel stupid about bringing it up because the other person probably forgot about the whole thing.

So anyway. . . I have been working on this and realized that I was really angry about my new medical diagnosis. I had been having sear words going through my head about it but hadn't been able to express them to anyone (I'm one of the people who almost never swears and people are always surprised when I do.) I asked my T if I could swear when I was in T and she said it was okay. And then I did. I think she was happy I could express my anger even if it was with swear words. She smiled when I asked if I could swear. I didn't want to offend her. I felt better being able to express my anger to someone rather than just in my head.

Good for you! Sometimes swearing just gives you that "oomph" in your expressions. I swear in T, but my T swore first. I think he knew that it would make me feel better, or more connected...it worked.

Now, there is swearing in therapy, or there is swearing in the therapist, as in the courtroom!

The only "swear" word I have said in T is H-E-Double hockey sticks and that felt weird to me. I usually want to say real swear words, but I don't because I don't want to offend her. I have had some on the tip of my tongue, but usually "edited" it or replaced for a PG rated word before it slipped out of my mouth

I have cursed in therapy. I remember being HORRIFIED the first time I dropped the F bomb with my T. The horrifying part was when she also dropped the F-bomb. I think I just was in shock... She is NOT the type that curses. You could tell it was awkward for her. I was like "Yeah... let's not do that again, k?"

With my other T's I've cursed, but don't find it helpful. Cursing covers up much more valuable words that could be used to accurately define what's going on.

Being a T - I've had teens and parents curse. I usually only use their words in reflection, not avoiding their curse words because they don't make me uncomfortable, and I don't want my clients to filter on MY behalf.

One time I had said to my T "are you pissed at me", she said no I'm not pissed at you. It's the first time either of us had used a curse word in there.

Well the following week, she used the word pissed again (not at me lol) then said pardon my french. I think it's sort of awkward for both of us. It sounded strange to hear her curse.

I am not a curser but sometimes I have all kids of curse words at the top of my head, I just refrain from letting them out.

I don't really think that pissed is a curse word =/ If it is, then I curse in T all the time. :P

hangingon, do you consider "pissed" to be a swear word? I use that word fairly regularly but never knew it was a swear word! I thought it just was another word for saying you are angry, kind of a less formal or slang way to say it.

I don't swear much in general, but when I do, I use those words to communicate that I am pissed off. They have effect because I don't use them much. So if I swear, people know I am angry and that I want them to know that. I do swear in therapy sometimes, for communicative value. And sometimes my T swears too. The words I use are the F and S words. It makes T sit up and think, "sunny is really angry"--it gets his attention.

I don't think "piss" is a swear word, but it is to me a sensitive word, one which would have been banned by my mother.

lol yeah, I have always considered it a swear word. My mom certainly would not have let me use it..

haha, in every day life I use stupid words like dang it, shoot, and things like that, not curse words at all.....but haven't even used them in therapy yet. I haven't showed anger in there as of yet.

Maybe I should drop the f bomb in there sometime

I'm tempted to do this too. I mean...what could she really do? I'm thinking the worst is tell me not to say it again. I've never heard of a T terminating because a patient drops the F bomb.

wow.. nope, pissed was not a swear in my ultra-religious home as a kid either. Not that they used it.. it just wasn't considered a swear.

i swear in therapy and i don't even blink about it. idk, but for me, swear words are sometimes the exact most effective way to express something. That is just me, not meant about anyone else - but fiddle dee dee isn't going to express what i need to sometimes. i am detached more when i am spending too much time thinking about the "right" words... the right ones are the ones that work for a given person in that moment.

i swear because i want to be myself in therapy and not a version made for therapy. Life is messy, i don't clean it up for therapy.. you know?

i don't personally have any issues with swearing of any kind that isn't derrogatory towards someone or used as a weapon. My T swears - rarely, but he does. It is common for T's to use the same language their client uses, to a point, so that the client feels comfortable... but my T has sworn in his own way too... it's never been an issue either way.

I guess for me, It's very rare for me to swear, even in my everyday life. I have a feeling that when I really start to feel angry in therapy, those are the words that may come up to describe things.

I don't really show anger so I don't necessarily have a need to swear. However, I know I need to work on learning how to express anger because I more direct it inward now.

My T would probably be shocked if I did curse but I don't think she would be upset by it, not that I know of anyways.

Thanks! I needed a laugh. I swear a lot in real life, but I just used the word "pissed" last week, and I had pre-mediated already saying it. hahaha. She actually dropped the F-bomb one day months ago on her own. It shocked me! She said "****" too. hehe.

ahh... now see, i don't equate swearing with anger per se. i swear just as i go... depending on what someone considers as a swear word i guess. i swear when something is ----ing hilarious, for example. i can pull it off though, i make people giggle (velcro003 included )

T dropped the "F bomb" early in therapy - I was shocked, but pleasantly so. I thought "OH kay, so THAT'S how it's going to be!" Now we both swear, not like sailors, but probably at most appoinments at some point.

I totally think of "pissed" as a swear word. I'm always shocked when it isn't edited on PC! lol

i'm more shocked that 'crap' isn't edited! that's totally more swear-word than 'pissed'.

i dropped the f-bomb first, but pdoc quickly followed suit. i think we kind of use it every now and again with ease, i dont have to be particularly angry or anything. it's more like an emphasis thingy?

a part of me wanders also if australians probably swear a lot more than our US-counterparts. it seems to be a very common part of everyday conversation here, and it isn't actually offensive (unless used in an offensive manner).

I'm a New Yorker, we all swear.

I have sworn some in therapy, not a lot - it never seems to surprise or shock my T. I don't remember her swearing yet, but we're just getting to the stage where we are truly comfortable with each other, after concentrating on builidng our relationship.

Here, here on NY swearers. I only lived there for 2 yrs, but I earned my swearing merit badges from a fellow New Yorker who'd been there for his formative years. He taught me the good ones like, "Well, I'll be dipped in ****." Haha. I realize I swear in excess, but it's part of who I am. As a child we couldn't say anything but darn or shoot, but we were pastor's kids. I think once you leave your religion behind it makes swearing all the more delicious. In my first session of therapy with my current therapist I was trying so hard not to say **** that I kept saying Jesus (which is more offensive to some, and less to others who aren't religious). And every time I caught myself saying Jesus I thought "**** I just said Jesus again, don't say ****, don't say ****." But eventually I did it anyway because no words are forbidden in my book except for racial or ethnic slurs. After all, generalizations are stupid and we are one race: human. The therapist didn't react, but I did get a rise out of him once when I said, "they give these away like condoms at the student center." It was a disapproving look, but I thought it was hilarious. Couldn't resist. Bad me.

I wrote 'crap' once or twice, but never swore out loud. And neither did he...

i agree... nothing that has intent to cause harm, like racial slurs or gender-based attacks, etc.

im not sure why a lot of words are considered swear words to be honest. There were a lot of farms i visited with vets.. and guess what? **** really does happen.

My dad swears sometimes when my parents come in. I'm afraid to swear though, fearing that she'll tell me not to and then I'll just feel embarrased. I should ask her if she wouldn't mind if I swore.

For me the surprise about swearing in T was that my T seemed to be pleasantly surprised. I think she was happy that I could express my anger when usually I would not, even if it wasn't in the most beautiful language. I think it was the expressing it at this point that was the important part. A couple of months ago at the end of a T session she said something along the lines of. . . I think you said frick (yes acutual word not a respelling for PC) more times in this session than you ever have before. My only thing with that session is I don't remember it except for her saying that. Apparently I didn't hang around for that one mentaly, but was pretty upset about something. I think she was pleased about that one also. Though I didn't have the courage to tell her I didn't remember.

I'm gonna go in and just randomly drop the F bomb in T on Tuesday...just to see what she says.

God...I feel like the kids on Finding Nemo. "I touched the butt!"

Oh no, then the bunny will hit its head. And it's sooo cute. Shocking one's therapist is a sign of a healthy distrust of authority. Reactions are always fun to watch. I mean, if they really know you they shouldn't care. They'll probably write it down in their therapy notes afterward...hahaha. Like you're making progress with being open and sharing your anger. :P