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  #26  
Old Aug 07, 2009, 01:35 PM
Anonymous29412
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Originally Posted by SpottedOwl View Post
What are you afraid of happening if you don't pick a fight with T?
What would happen if you were able to reconnect with him?

I also had another thought -- what if you aren't trying to 'reconnect', but maybe this is the first time the little one is trying to connect with T. Yes, you've been seeing him for 21 months so part of you knows how compassionate he is...but is it possible that the part of you that needs to heal the CSA stuff has never been able to connect with T?
Little tree connects by sitting with T

OMG. Maybe I am trying to prevent THAT connection....little tree and T...and by preventing that, preventing more work on the CSA stuff. And maybe that was the disconnect...*grown up me* didn't want to ask T over because I am trying to protect us from going there. *little me* wanted T to come over and hold her hand.



ETA: thanks for helping me think this through spotted owl...i actually just e-mailed a bunch of this (my part, not yours) to T.

Last edited by Anonymous29412; Aug 07, 2009 at 02:19 PM.

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  #27  
Old Aug 07, 2009, 01:53 PM
Orange_Blossom
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Maybe I just wanted to be given something for free for all of the hard work I'm doing. Just some kind of encouragement to keep going.
Tree, did you ever get around to buying that book I sent you info from? If so, read the last paragraph on page 179. It talks about the wounded child expecting compensation for all she has lost because, in her mind, the therapist was the one who "made" her deal with this stuff.
  #28  
Old Aug 07, 2009, 01:55 PM
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pachyderm pachyderm is offline
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Originally Posted by treehouse View Post
It seems like the only way to keep it away is by picking a fight with T
Sometimes I seem to need to be angry with T or someone else I need, for some kind of self-preservation. It really seems to be necessary sometimes. If I am not, I will get sucked into something that does not feel good... something I am not ready to handle...
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Now if thou would'st
When all have given him o'er
From death to life
Thou might'st him yet recover
-- Michael Drayton 1562 - 1631
  #29  
Old Aug 07, 2009, 02:25 PM
Anonymous29412
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Originally Posted by Orange_Blossom View Post
Tree, did you ever get around to buying that book I sent you info from?
NO, but I think I NEED it. I was afraid to have it in the house because I was afraid H or my boys would see it, but I think I'll just get it and find a way to keep it out of everyone's hands. Can you send the name again? I have an Amazon gift card. I'll order it today...
  #30  
Old Aug 07, 2009, 02:26 PM
Anonymous29412
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Originally Posted by pachyderm View Post
Sometimes I seem to need to be angry with T or someone else I need, for some kind of self-preservation. It really seems to be necessary sometimes. If I am not, I will get sucked into something that does not feel good... something I am not ready to handle...
Yes, I totally think this is a lot of it (now).

It's so weird, I can BARELY REMEMBER session yesterday. I bet if I hadn't written about it, I would have no idea what the heck even happened. Which makes me feel like I really don't even feel ANGRY at T now. Poor T. I would hate to have to work with me.
  #31  
Old Aug 07, 2009, 04:41 PM
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pachyderm pachyderm is offline
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Originally Posted by treehouse View Post
It's so weird, I can BARELY REMEMBER session yesterday.
I'm familiar with that! But it, or the significant parts of it, will come back, I think!
__________________
Now if thou would'st
When all have given him o'er
From death to life
Thou might'st him yet recover
-- Michael Drayton 1562 - 1631
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