I am jumping to conclusion here....

I remember one session with my T...
He was showing me something...he was telling me T's using them as showing couples about communication skills and expressing anger etc...

He was acting as if he was a husband who is arguing with his partner.
Then he said "Yeah, you are A Fat Bit&&

I totally didn't want to believe what I just heard, because he already told me over the phone that he never ever swears...

My heart sank and I was deeply disappointed with him.
I know he didn't say that to me but I told myself this
" oh my gosh, he thinks that I am a fat Bit&&"

I should have confronted him why he had to use those words...
almost like he was saying those very naturally without consoius...
When I came home and listen to the session to make sure what I've heard was right. Yes, he did say, you fat Bit&&...

Am I over reacting?
being way too sensitive huh
because I am fat and I was *****ing at him all the time...

I never mentioned to him about that. I just decided to ignore...
but I really believe that he thinks that I am a fat Bit&& to him.

Yes, This is Y I need Therapist and this is Y I am being patient to some professinals...

[chaotic13]

TB... Your T totally f'ed up. Role playing may be a good technique but it should not leave the client feeling like they are actually being insulted. You definitely need to properly complete this role play but confronting him about his choice of words and letting him know that you did not find his EXAMPLE very helpful. He needs to know he insulted you, and you need to see how communicating this can lead to a better therapeutic relationship.

[deliquesce]

was he role playing with you? were you the wife & him the husband? or was he just using it as an example?

i doubt very much that your T would actually call you a "fat b****". but i think it's important for you to clarify what was going on then, and also talk about your feelings about it now.

[crystalrose]

i would hope that a T wouldn't make a role play into an attack on you. I think T didn't think before speaking but maybe its best to ask before worrying too much.

[darkrunner]

Originally Posted by Timeisback

Am I over reacting?
being way too sensitive huh
because I am fat and I was *****ing at him all the time...

Yikes.
You are NOT over reacting. or being too sensitive.
I can't imagine it could possibly be true that your T really feels this way about you.
I hope you find the courage to bring this up, and tell T how you feel about this. I know it will not be easy but I think it is important.

[ECHOES]

I think what's meaningful is not that your T said them or that you know he did so to make a point, but your response; your willingness to assign those words to yourself and to take on the accompanying hurt from the words and from the words being said by T.
T was not directing those words/thoughts at you, but speaking them in your presence felt like that to you. When we are willing to take on hurt, to redirect it toward ourselves, to change what's real to what's not real, that is something valuable to explore and learn more about.

I used to be bothered by 'guilt by association'. If a teacher or boss, for example, made a general statement to the class/group about unacceptable behavior or work, I would blush on the spot, feel lightheaded, become short of breath every time. Adrenaline, resulting from the fear reaction. I was not the person the statement was being directed toward, but I was willing to 'be' that person, to take on the guilt. Great kind of thing to work on in therapy.

So, you have been given an opportunity to learn more about how this works with you.

[imapatient]

He wasn't speaking in his own voice, his own words, and he wasn't speaking about you. He was role-playing, as you said. He was an actor acting the part of an a-hole husband who's very mean and demeaning to his wife.

I don't know why he chose the issue and words he chose to, and it certainly sounds insensitive given your concerns.

I think you need to first and foremost realize he was an acting playing a role, not being himself. That's what role-play is about. Maybe you've never done it yourself or acted before. It wasn’t about you at all or about his opinion of you. It was a demonstration, not personal.

Second, you definitely should ask him about the topic and words he used--why, a particular reason, related to you? The comments sound like generic comments that a really abusive, loser, mean man in real life might say to his female partner, hence a good example to use as realistic for that kind of guy—and he exists. There are men who use that language with women and are very verbally abusive. The kind of man no woman should be with. With you he just picked a really, really inappropriate example to use, unless he had a particualr reason to use that one, which still might not be good given how hurt you are. I can see having a T role-play and touch on an issue of mine like this and be really bothered and hurt.