this is not good.

she looked like a mom today. (i only glance at T quickly, but I saw)
she sounded like a mom today.
she laughed like a mom today.
she taught me some stuff like a mom today.
she was nice to me like a mom today.

and when she kicked me out, she said she was sorry.

how can I do therapy, if I just want her to be my mom?
i feel so embarrassed.

[rainbow8]

(((((Solar))))),

Is this your same T or a new prospective one? I think it is GOOD, not . You want a Mom so you are going to want your T to be one. I think that's going to happen with any good T. Can you tell her your feelings? I think it's very important so that she can help you. She won't become a Mom to you but she can give you a lot of nurturing that you need. I know it's scary but it really is good if she's a good T. I hope she is!!!!

I agree that this can be a really good, healing thing....I think the absolute most healing part of my therapy is dealing with this exact issue. Wanting T to be my mom.

It's also been the scariest, most painful part of my therapy. It's brought a lot of grief to the surface because I realize that she can't ever be my mom. No one can ever make up for that loss.

Yet, I've learned that she can nurture me if I trust her and let her...she can fill some of those needs while also helping me grieve the loss of a good mom.

When I sit across from my T, I sometimes feel like I'm being held by a good mommy. It's so nice and safe and healing

[BlueMoon6]

((((Solar))))) You express yourself so well and its amazing that you are so in touch with wanting a mommy. You can do therapy wanting her to be your mommy. Tell her about how you feel. Its okay. T will understand and work with you on it.

You are so strong and brave

[darkrunner]

No need to be embarassed, Solarwind.
EVERYBODY wanst / needs a mom. The T will understand.
Like Blue said, she will work with you and it may be a good thing.

[WePow]

Maybe you can let her be your mom for a little while? I had to do that with my T. We talked about it and it was very honest transference that worked to help me heal.
Even my little one made him a card that said "Thank you for being our new daddy"

I am learning now how to take care of my own inner child. But while I have my training wheels on, it helped to have T fill that role that was not filled by my real dad.

[jexa]

I agree with the others Solar. I know it is scary to feel this way sometimes, but I think it's a good thing that you are feeling this strong connection to this T. I think the fact that you feel this now is a very good sign that you will be able to successfully process things with this T.

[Mike_J]

I don't want my therapist to be my mom..

I want to be her...I envy her so much...

I'm so pathetic

((((((((((((solar))))))))))))

I remember when I first had that feeling of wanting T to be my parent. It was SO painful, because it really made me feel what I didn't have. Up until then, I could just kind of pretend that I was okay with how things were growing up...once I let myself feel that longing to have T as a Mom (even though he's male, it's more of a mom feeling for me), all of the emptiness and pain I had managed to push away came rushing in.

But then, it turned out to be one of the most healing things about my therapy. T gives me the things that a good mom would give her child - unconditional love, acceptance, attention, a safe place, healthy boundaries, nurturing, encouragement, a safe base to return to. All of those things and more.

I never really believed that T giving me those things could ever fill that hole inside, but in a lot of ways it has. I had to grieve not being able to go back and have that stuff as a child, and it will never really be exactly the same. But I finally, FINALLY feel like some of those big needs have been/are being met, and that is so huge and so healing.

I know it feels scary and maybe embarrassing to have those feelings about T. But there is nothing wrong with them. Nothing at all. I think the fact that T is bringing up those feelings for you is a really good sign that your therapy could be very healing.

Lots and lots of to you, ((((((solar)))))))

[ECHOES]

she looked like a mom today.
she sounded like a mom today.
she laughed like a mom today.
she taught me some stuff like a mom today.
she was nice to me like a mom today.

Maybe she enjoys being in a mom-like role and would be delighted about your thinking of her in that way.

[Melbadaze]

Originally Posted by Mike_J

I don't want my therapist to be my mom..

I want to be her...I envy her so much...

I'm so pathetic

I think the things you envy in your T, are really your qualities too and eventually T will help you see this. We have to see our qualities in others before we can take ownership.