[tryingtobeme]

Monday I will be starting with a new T. It's been about a month since my old T and I called it quits. It's been so hard living without my T. I feel my life has been a big hugh mess. I even tried going to a new T but she just laughed at everything I said. Talk about a set back.

Do I trust new T? Should I trust new T?? My fears, worries, child inside me all say no, don't trust I will be hurt again and again and again.
My husband hates that I am going to a new T. I know I shouldn't care what he thinks. I don't want my husband mad either.

I'm sitting here try to ask myself why I am posting this. I don't even know where to go with it. What is so wrong with me that I can't make a decision? Why can't I just be an emotionally healthy person.

Monday will be the end if I can't sit with a new T. I don't know where else to turn to if I can't do this on Monday.

[ECHOES]

Every T is different and hopefully this T is one you feel comfortable with.
It takes time, though, so I wouldn't give so much weight to the first session.
I love my T but I left the first session angry, so luckily I was able to give us more time .
Trust takes a while too. It takes as long as it takes and can come in increments. It took me about 9 months to trust at all, to talk much at all. I still have times I don't feel comfortable or trusting, but I do have time in the relationship which gives me the memory of the trust and feeling comfortable to draw on when I need to remember that it was there and can come and go.

For a long time we explored frequently about how hard it is to talk. Maybe for you, you could take some time to explore trust and what that means to you, what your expecations are for yourself and the other person, what it would be like if you had trust and connection, what a good therapy relationship is to you.

I don't know why your husband hates that you are going to a new T but maybe it's that he sees you worrying about therapy and the T and that concerns him?

You can do this. I'll bet the new T is really looking forward to meeting you Monday!

[googley]

This isn't the T that you saw that laughed with you is it?

If you don't find that things work out with the T on Monday you can try it out with another T. Just because one T doesn't work out, doesn't mean that another wont. Sometimes it takes time to find a T who we match up with. It may be especially hard if you are still hurting from being abandoned by your old T.

Take care of yourself.

[tryingtobeme]

Originally Posted by googley

This isn't the T that you saw that laughed with you is it? .

No it isn't. I told her that I could not work with someone who is not going to respect me. That was very hard to do since I've never stood up to a professional like that.

It's with a male T again, that is what my old T was, a male. I thought working with a female would be better, but after her earlier this week, I can't see a female T.

I guess I just need to get my life back on track. Everythign seems so out of control right now.

[sittingatwatersedge]

TTBM >>>>>. I told her that I could not work with someone who is not going to respect me.

It may have been hard but you did GREAT with this. have confidence, this was excellent. Wishing you the best with the new T.

[WikidPissah]

sending best wishes, happy thoughts and strength. Just want to say I started with a new T a couple mos ago. As frustrating as it is starting over, repeating stuff you already said...etc, etc....it is nice to get a fresh perspective on stuff. I am settling in nicely, and I am one of those people who trusts nobody. It is taking time though, lots of time, so be patient with yourself and your new T.

(((((((((((((trying))))))))))))))))

I second what ECHOES said....it took me a long, long, LONG time to trust T. Many, many months before I trusted him even a little bit, and honestly, YEARS before the trust really became deep and entrenched (and I still question it sometimes!)

I hope that you feel comfortable and respected. Let us know how it goes

[WePow]

Trying --- you really have done so awesome with everything. Making that stand for yourself was one of the best things you have done - and you really should be proud of yourself with that.

I know you must have read me share this before, but it took my T going through almost 20 different Ts before he found HIS right match. It takes a lot of honesty and work to do what is in your best interests. But you ARE doing it.

[tryingtobeme]

Saw this T last night. I have failed again....

I give up trying to find a T who will see me for me and actually listen to me without interrupting and with out me feelin like I am a loser. I give up. life, therapy, work, church, being a mom, wife and everything else I just can't do it anymore.

[Oceanwave]

((((trying)))))

Would you like to talk about it? What happened, why do you think you "failed"?

Please try to hold it together for now. It is possible to find a T whom you trust, but you might need to give it some more time. That seems to be everybody's experience here.

[rainbow8]

((((((((trying))))))))))

What happened? Why are you so sure you failed again? Maybe it's the T who failed, not you. A T SHOULD listen to you. If he didn't, it's his fault, not yours.

I KNOW there is a T for you. But could you first try this one again, and tell him that you need to be listened to? I never thought I'd find a T as wonderful as the one I am seeing. Please don't give up!

[granite1]

omg ((trying))what went on .i agree if anything failed it was T.can you talk about what happened

[WikidPissah]

((((trying)))) you are NOT a loser. you are NOT a failure. and more than all of that, you are NOT alone. finding a new T is REALLY REALLY HARD! you can't look at their name in the phone book or on a web page and see whether they will fit or not. unfortunately, you have to keep trying until you hit one that's a good match.

What did this other say/do that upset you so much? I want to go kick his butt.

[tryingtobeme]

I'm really scared of him. I can't trust him. Everytime I try and talk he talks right over me. If I don't answer his question right away, he starts assuming what my answer is going to be. It's like he is in such a hurry to get and answer and move on. Therapy is not supposed to work like that.

He wanted to know my feelings with my old T and I could feel the tears starting in my eyes. I can't tell him my REAL feeling of old T, he will see that as very bad and wrong, and I don't want him to say again that it's a good thing that I left my old T.

My old T means the world to me and him saying that it's good that I left him, hurts, it hurts very deep and he doesn't get that. I don't know. I feel so lost in this wanting/finding a new T. I am so worked up that I don't want to talk to any one. I just want to crawl down in my hole and die and be left alone by all the professionals. I'm working on canceling all my appointments with any and all doctor's I have. None of them care and even the one that maybe does, well, I shouldn't be seeing him either. I really don't know what's true, right, wrong, ......