[rainbow8]

Maybe people think I'm whining because T will only be gone a week. But I feel SO UNSETTLED!!!!!

I have to try to take care of my own parts and I'm having a tantrum!

But no one ever hears me.

I hate being invisible.

What if she doesn't come back?

Can I have some hugs, please?

[gelfling]

(((((rainbow))))) - can you write a note to your t every day - or add to it when you are thinking about her and put some of these feelings there and then take it with you when she comes back?

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by rainbow8

But no one ever hears me.

I hate being invisible.

Who is no one?

Hugs coming up...

[Perna]

Think of a counting "game" you can play that will help the time pass. I use to use candy, put out exactly the same number gum or mints as days T would be gone and eat one a day at the same time each day. Gave something to look forward to and also showed the time passing and getting closer to seeing T again.

I use to make a specific number of day, "special" journal for the period too and mail it after the day I should have seen T was over and it was back to "normal" where I'd see her that day the next week. I'd hope for dreams and other "interesting" activities to happen, things I'd learn in her absense, etc. that I could talk about in the journal.

((((((((((rain)))))))))))

we hear you.

[bpd mess]

i hear you! i also feel unsettled, invisible and am throwing a tantrum! i'm trying to distract. do you have anything you can do to distract?

I hear you. I see you.

[WikidPissah]

I hear you and see you too. And here is your hug

[mixedup_emotions]

((((( SUPER BIG HUGS )))))

It's an awful feeling....

[WePow]

((((((((((((((((((Rainbow)))))))))))))))))))))))

Why not allow yourself to go ahead and miss T deeply - very deeply.
Allow yourself the RIGHT to experience this emotion.
It is YOUR emotion.
There is nothing at all wrong with you for feeling this emotion.
Cling to it and go very deeply into it.
There is a gem in there hiding - a breakthrough - an insight.
You can find it but you have to allow this to be what it is in truth.
You can't find the gem if you run from the emotion or hide from the feelings.
But if you go into the ocean and allow the waves to carry you where they will - then you will see what you have been looking for.... it is there.

[jazzy123456]

sometimes, we spend time thinking of responses but, other times I think we have to realize that all we can say is---we understand---at least thats all I can say. You are HEARD and you are UNDERSTOOD. because, I too, feel the same way, good luck to u...let happiness overwhelm you with love, peace, and joy.

It is totally understandable. You are not invisible.

[granite1]

[Melbadaze]

Originally Posted by rainbow8

Maybe people think I'm whining because T will only be gone a week. But I feel SO UNSETTLED!!!!!

I have to try to take care of my own parts and I'm having a tantrum!

But no one ever hears me.

I hate being invisible.

What if she doesn't come back?

Can I have some hugs, please?

Yes I thought your T's response your wrote about in your other post ie when you told how you feel about her going away and she replied "Thats sweet" was a bit well naff. Thats what an office collegue or a neighbour would say but come on, our Ts? Its not sweet its painful and you want that acknowledged very much! Thats why when I wrote about my emailing T about her break and said I need it explained to me, I don't understand and she acknowledge she knew how the feelings I was feeling and that even though she knew that she still had to go, that validated me and her having to go became "contained" for me, but if she'd just said, oh thats sweet, well wheres the therapy in that?

[rainbow8]

melba, I can see why you didn't think my T's comment was therapeutic, but in the context of my session what she said was adequate. I don't remember exactly what she said; it was more than "that's sweet".

Thanks for all the hugs and responses. What I did just now was email my T again because I came up with some important feelings. I know she most likely won't read it until she gets back home but she said it was okay to email anyway. So, that's what I did.

The feelings just come. The child part feels left out because T is with her husband. She wants to come between them. The feelings are SO strong, but I am just being curious and compassionate and letting her tell me and T her feelings. I know she's just one part of me. So, WePow, I am feeling the sad feelings.

I keep thinking about what time it is where T is and wondering what she's doing. I realize it's not about missing the week. It's something major about feeling left out. I so much want T to be with me and not her H. During the session, I told her I didn't know anything about him. I don't want to think about him at all. The child part doesn't. I mean. The adult part told T that she shouldn't write me even if she has internet access because it is her vacation and time to be with her H.

I feel better now that I emailed and sent it even though she won't read it. I have to share my feelings when they come up. I'm sleeping with my bear though that seems childish. The child parts can feel comforted and feel closer to T. I wonder where she put her bear, but I doubt she's sleeping with it!!

[rainbow8]

Another day gone. I have things to do this week but the underlying depression is there. I've only known my T since February, not even a year, but I feel like I've always known her. I hope she's having a good time, but I want her back home. I don't have to see her, but want her to be "home."

Rainbow, it's not whining at all and it's totally understandable to feel unsettled. It's really hard.

I can totally relate to counting the days- I think the only maths I ever do is therapy maths, seeing how I can fraction out the time to make it feel as short as possible (1/3 down, more than half down...)!

I hope the time flies for you. Your T will be back safely soon...

[rainbow8]

Thanks, Improving.

Update: I woke up at 6 a.m. today and couldn't go back to sleep. I thought about my little part, maybe 3 years old, wanting to sleep next to T. Then I visualized her next to me instead, while I was holding my bear. I cried, but it felt the same if not better than being with T. If people IRL knew I was doing this, they would think I'm crazy!!