What is mirroring?

I read a post of rainbows (I think) where she made reference to her therapist using mirroring. (to her?) What does that mean? Why do t's do that? And can you give me examples of how t's do this to you?

I think mirroring means what my T often does: she adapts her behaviour to mine. When I'm relaxed, she's too; when I'm silent, she doesn't say a lot either; when I make a joke, she says something funny too; when I gaze at her, she gazes back.
Except, when I'm stressed and upset and crying, she's calm. There must remain some difference...
I guess she does the mirroring thing to make me feel at ease and understood. And it makes me more aware of my own behaviour and how I'm actually feeling than anything else.

That's what I think it means.

That's my understanding too. I think it can also include their making a comment back to you that mirrors what you just said, which communicates that they understood what you just said. (The technique helps communicate empathy and attunement.)

Yep. It is a raport building technique used to help you feel more comfortable. There are all kinds of mirroring and it doesn't just happen in therapy. The person just does something the same way you are. They may talk at the same pace, sit in the same position oh so many ways. In frienships it can just happen naturally. Ever been shopping or walking with a friend and you realize that you are both stepping with the same foot at the same time? That is when it just unconsciously happens. My T does some of it consciously and some of it unconsciously too. Some times when we get that feeling that we have done something wrong or that someone is no longer listening but can't put our finger on why, it can because the mirroring was interrupted.

When I cross my arms, T crosses his. Then I realize what I am doing and uncross mine. Then T uncrosses his :-) LOL

LOL WePow! - I've thought about doing that just to see if my T would copy me
In general terms I see mirroring as like an emotional hug. I feel comforted and safe when my T mirrors me.

While it can be a therapeutic intention, nearly all of us do this in natural life situations. Think of yawning, or when someone clears their throat in a meeting, you might also tend to do the same. Much of mirroring is unconscious, yet it conveys a desire to or a sense of connecting with another. Leaning forward when someone leans in to speak to you, crossing your legs when someone else does so, scratching your head or rubbing your ear, taking a sip from a glass when another does etc., can also be forms of mirroring.

Mirror neuron

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
A mirror neuron is a neuron that fires both when an animal acts and when the animal observes the same action performed by another.[1][2] Thus, the neuron "mirrors" the behavior of the other, as though the observer were itself acting.

EVEN COOLER, HUH!!!! So, even if the person isn't ACTING mirroring, their neurons may be mirroring each other's activity....wow....

geez, I would try it! I have with my T's. I do it a lot. My T is too smart though and called me out on it (laughingly) when I was doing it and she knew it was intentional.

You mean you were trying to mirror her?

Yep alcira! How she responds often dictates what kind of things I will work on that day!

Note: my T knows I am intentionally using it... Most T's won't use it this way and if done too often can be seen as minipulation or resistance to therapy....
My T used to work with the guy that taught me about mirroring so she knows how, why and when I use it and if it is intentional or not.

Wait, I want do to this too! Just for kicks. So you copy whatever your therapist does? I feel like she just sits there.

I do this with my boss(es) or others when they annoy me just to have a little bit of fun . I never do this with my T though and if he does it as a pure "technique" I would catch onto it in a hot minute and he knows that. I am sensitive to manipulation tactics and he doesn't really do any intentional, manipulative mirroring (just the normal subconscious variety).

LOL!! Love all these posts! I may give it a try LOL!!

I have never noticed my therapist doing this...interesting!

I have noticed my T do this with words but not with gestures. I tried to mirror her gestures at some point today. I am not sure if she noticed. I didn't do it for long because I got scared I might get caught and in trouble.

Not all T's have training in this type of thing and many who do it come by it naturally. Of the 8 T's I have worked with only 2 could intentionally use mirroring. It can be rather like a chess game.

I dont think i look at my T enough to really notice, but I have noticed when I shift positions, she sometimes mirrors the same thing. I don't think it is a conscious thing, but who knows?

Ugh, I didn't try to mirror T today. I was too into my head to look at her. It's difficult to look at her in general! My next session, Wednesday I will certainly try. She's so going to notice and call me out!

I just want to add that the purpose of mirroring is to add to a person's self-worth or self-esteem. We mirror each other when we are engaged with each other. The effort on a therapist's part, then, I would hope, wouldn't be hollow--just a game--but would be an attendance to my posture, tone, energy so that we are "in synch" and I feel like my needs are leading the time together, not that I have to fit into his needs--like worry over how many more things he needs to get done that day, that he's hungry, that he's tired, etc. Mirroring me is as much that conscious effort to attend the other person as it is anything else. If/when it is manipulative, it should, with our T's, be toward the purpose of working toward an ambience that helps us do healing work with them...

I think my T and I mirror each other at times. I think we mirror others in our lives too. It can be quite natural. I think it is a good thing. It helps two people feel close. I don't do it to mock people or manipulate them. I would think a T would like it if he and a client were attuned enough that they were mirroring each other. I don't do it with crossing legs and such, but more with pacing, non-verbal noises, mood, affect, and also what I say in response to what he has just said. There are times I cannot do it though, and it is usually when T is at a more extreme mood. I am better when we are "in the middle" somewhere.

I dont' recognise that sort of mirroring, T doesn't do that with me..think I'd slap her upside the head if she did lol!...I thought mirroring was just about how a baby looks into their mothers eyes and sees her love for the baby reflected back with no personal agenda etc, wouldnt mirroring as described in some of these posts be about a personal agenda? Contrived? I look at T occassionally and I see my own self love reflecting back from her, no more than that, no "simon said" games, just that...my own hidden self love coming through her eyes..

I think there are are two slightly different conversations going on in the thread. Some are just wanting to know how to use mirroring and Ipracticing mirroring. I was speaking to that when I reffered to it as "rather like a chess game".
Using it in therapy is something completely different. I do not belive that any ethical T would use it if it were "hollow". I do not believe that an ethical T would use it for manipulation. When used in therapy it is a very important and healing part of the theraputic relationship.

Just to clarify my earlier post. Brain is a bit boggled right now.

I've noticed that when I lay down on the couch curled up facing T, he tips his head over and rests his head on his hand so we still kind of having our faces directly looking at each other. I know that his mood matches mine...when I feel lighthearted, he is lighthearted, when I am sad, he has a sad face, etc.

In a recent session, I asked him to change seats with me and we were playing "I'm the therapist, he's the client". I was asking him questions and he was sort of reclining on the couch. I noticed all of a sudden that I had shifted how I was sitting so it matched how he has sitting. Totally an unconscious move on my part, and it made me wonder about the way he matches me.

I think sometimes we're just really attuned and that comes out in our body language, tone of voice, etc.

Yes--all true in all the posts....and we know when someone is potentially hostile--and certainly resistant--when they don't mirror us......and when we don't mirror them.....