just something T said

Zoo, what sweetlove said does not really tell her that she called you by someone else's name. She won't know what you are referring to unless you tell her specifically what happened. She probably isn't even aware that she made this mistake. If you text her, why not tell her that you got a message from her but that she used another name instead of yours, and you are feeling hurt because you wonder if the message was for someone else.

that's true, Tay. I already texted her verbatim what sweetlove said, but if/when I hear back from her, I will clarify WHY I think it might have been meant for someone else. good point.

Zoo, that's really unfortunate she screwed up like that. Tell her how hurtful it was and how angry it made you feel. I know they have lots of people to take care of, but that would upset me too. Take care

I'd be upset too, of course. T once referred to my abuser (who is pretty much the entire focus of therapy) by the wrong name. I got really quiet and finally told him. He got very redfaced and apologized. It stung, but I did believe that it was a slip of the tongue.

It reminds me of how I had two best friends in college. We spent all our time together, lived together, etc. And I was ALWAYS calling them by the other's name. I felt stupid and bad because I knew it was insulting, but my brain seemed to always get the wires crossed.

A mistake can be innocent and accidental, and yet still hurt. It's okay if it's both.

Zoo, I am so sorry this happened to you.

My T says the key is, for us (clients), to take an ACTIVE role instead of a passive one, while minimizing the control others might have over us.

I hope you do clarify with your T. It WAS a mistake which was HURTFUL. I am sure there is a good explanation, but it doesn't minimize the hurt you are feeling now.

Zoo, did you hear back from T yet?

Please let us know when your T gets back to you.
I can only imagine the hurt and anger this must have stirred up in you. I'm proud of you having found the strength to text T.
Please don't send the e-mail. You know your thoughts are directly related to then anger of the voice message. You still love and need T; you don't want to end therapy with her; you just need to work through this hard time
Thinking of you!

I got a text back saying something like "I said I was returning your call. I said someone else's name because I was returning several calls in a row."

there's actually a lot more that transpired over the weekend, but I'm too tired and heartsick to post about it now. I will say that I think T is still there for me, although I will be really nervous going into my session tomorrow. Scared that she will have bad news for me.

Zoo - keep going the way you are. You have been incredibly strong. Tomorrow in T, don't hold back anything - tell her exactly what you feel.

Zoo, I'm sorry you had a bad weekend...hopefully you want to post about it later if it helps. I really hope you can find the connection with your T again tomorrow and use the session to talk about what happened with her phone call and your weekend. Lots of hugs

Over the weekend I used some negative coping and while I was under the influence I decided to text T to say goodbye, since I was never going to therapy again. Well, T read my text and took it as basically a suicide note. Meanwhile, my phone died and I wasn't home, having spent the night at my friend's house.

long story short, when I finally talked to T, after coming home to find a mass of police on my doorstep, T was crying. She said she was sure I had taken my life. She said she was terrified. She used that word twice. Terrified. It was a pretty intense moment, to realize just how much T cares.

oh ((((((((((((((((zoo))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I am so glad you are safe. And I'm so sad things got so bad.

T does care.

I'm sorry things were so hard....but your T's tears show how deeply she does care! Glad you are safe.

Zoo, I'm sorry so much happened to you this weekend and with your T's calling you the wrong name. Her crying and saying she was terrified for you show that she cares a lot about you. I'm glad you're safe too.

Zoo, got to this post late... so much has happened with you, I hope this finds you in a safer spot.

my t screwed up last time and i still think he did it on purpose,
trying to get rid of me... (its working)

what i am trying to say is you have lots of t support and lots of courage. i am proud of you, sending safe hugs

Zoo, I'm so sorry this happened over the weekend and you were in such a dark place. I'm happy you are ok...well maybe you aren't ok yet, but you are here.

That is an incredible response from your T. I wish it was under better circumstances but maybe in a crazy way it was meant be...you were in such a dilemma with T at the time and that type of emotional reaction to show her commitment was just what you needed. I hope you can remember that feeling if something ever happens again to doubt your T's commitment. I hope things start to get better for you soon

I see T this afternoon. I can't wait. I need that time just for me. It's so weird because a few days ago I was SO SURE I never wanted to see or talk to her again. But then yesterday when I talked to her I told her that I was afraid to come and see her because I was sure something catastrophic would happen. She said " like what?" and I said I'm afraid I'll walk in there and she'll say she can't see me anymore.

She told me that won't happen. She said that will never happen, that when we "close" it will be planned and gradual and agreed by both of us. I know she's told me that before, but then things got so crazy and I got scared T said that's OK, t that she will keep telling me as many times as I need to hear it.

that's good work Zoo, I hope that will help your anxiety some. You were brave to ask! and now you heard her say with her own voice that it won't ever happen that way. I am happy for you!

(((((((((((Zoo))))))))))))

Hugs for you. As many as you would like.