This is to clarify the thread I had up yesterday: "Are you addicted to PC". After reading a couple of posts from other members, I got my feelings hurt. I asked that the thread be removed.

Things have been hard for me lately. I took those comments as a personal attack. In hindsite, I realize that I probably over reacted. Being overly sensitive is something I am working on in therapy.

This was actually a good thing that this happened. Because those members who made the comments have contacted me to clarify what they meant, I am okay now. This was a lesson for me.

I see now that I should have talked it out with them, and not jumped straight into the "I am being rejected" conversation that I so often play out in my mind. I tend go into the negative self talk: "I am unworthy", "I am unlovable", "Nobody likes me".

This was an assignment I was to work on in therapy. I didn't realize it would play out in PC, but it did. I feel so much better that a number of you took the time to PM me to ask if I was okay.

I don't want to bring names into this, but the ones that I was upset with, took the time to contact me and clarify their comments. This makes me feel that maybe I am not that bad of a person afterall.

Yes, I am addicted (hooked) on PC. I enjoy my time here with all of you. My question in the thread was actually something like, "Do you tend to take on the issues that others are having in therapy, and worry that they may happen to you at some point in your therapy journey?"

I tend to do that. My therapy is going okay right now. But when I read about things that many of you are struggling with in your therapy, I start the negative self talk:"Is that going to happen to me?", "Is my therapist going to stop allowing me to send emails?", "Will I go through the therapist/client rupture?", etc...

[granite1]

happy for you

[SpiritRunner]

I'm glad you worked it out and that you've had communication with others here to help you to do that! Good communication is so key - taking ownership of our reactions and emotions and reaching out to understand others' reactions/emotions, as well!

[WePow]

It is so wonderful that you were able to use this as a chance to grow.

[Ygrec23]

Originally Posted by Squiggle328

Yes, I am addicted (hooked) on PC. I enjoy my time here with all of you. My question in the thread was actually something like, "Do you tend to take on the issues that others are having in therapy, and worry that they may happen to you at some point in your therapy journey?"

I tend to do that. My therapy is going okay right now. But when I read about things that many of you are struggling with in your therapy, I start the negative self talk:"Is that going to happen to me?", "Is my therapist going to stop allowing me to send emails?", "Will I go through the therapist/client rupture?", etc...

Well, Squiggle, I definitely think I'm hooked on PC, but I don't think I risk being infected with other PC people's worries. I've never felt that way. I wonder why you do. PC is the best place I've found in the world to interact with other people. That's why I'm addicted. I don't think I've ever really felt, whether in PC or IRL, that other people's head problems were catching. We all have our own and have to deal with them. We all have different personalities and ways to handle things. The fact that you or someone else may have a certain difficulty in therapy does not (for me) translate into a risk for myself. I'm trying to think myself into your world and understand from inside what it feels like to be threatened in that way. And I'm afraid I just can't relate. My problems are mine and yours are yours, and, as they say, never the twain shall meet! And even if they did, I think I'd rather meet my own problems head on without trying beforehand to prepare for them by taking notes on other's problems. Whatever happens, happens. I have a lot of faith in my T and quite a bit in myself and I just feel comfortable that we'll work things out. And, no doubt, there are a whole lot of things that do need to be worked out. But that just doesn't scare me. Maybe it should, but it doesn't. Take care!

[mark366160]

Glad to see you are feeling better... and gladder (is that a word?) yet that the folks that upset you contacted you about it. That says alot for everyone on here

I don't know that I'm addicted to this site, although I have spent alot of time on here lately. Since I'm new to this therapy thing, it's been sorta interesting to see what other people say about it all... and it does help with some of my confusion... and the responses I've gotten from people have been helpful... if nothing else, I feel like I'm not alone...

Again, glad to know you are feeling better

Originally Posted by Ygrec23

I'm trying to think myself into your world and understand from inside what it feels like to be threatened in that way. And I'm afraid I just can't relate.

I am not worried that I will take on someone else's issues. We all go into therapy for different reasons and have different struggles. I am more worried about the therapist/client breakdown. My therapist and I have a great relationship. I see where some of you have been deeply hurt by your therapists and you have expressed how painful that has been for you to go through. I read all the posts of your journey to get past that. I could feel your pain. I worry that I may go through that at some point.

I know that I should live in the present and not think about things that 'might' happen. This is another thing I have to work on. Stop worrying so much!

[Fartraveler]

Well, it is highly probable that at some point, you and your T will have some kind of problem. You may not, of course, but it's possible. That's just the way relationships are, and especially deeply intimate relationships like the ones we have with our therapists.

But, on the other hand, you've just had some great practice in handling a relationship problem -- I mean with what happened with the earlier version of this thread.

So maybe if you and your T do have some kind of misunderstanding, you will now have an idea of how to fix it?

Knowing that you can talk about this sort of thing, clarify misunderstandings, and that relationships can be healed -- maybe that might ease your fears?

-Far

[sugahorse1]

Squiggle - I can relate. I spend a whole lot of time on PC. And sometimes I do let other's issues get to me, and I make them my own. It can be triggering, but I'm doing my best to give where I can and when I need to look after myself, I need to ask for help and also pull away from PC a bit

I never read your original post, but I am glad you have learnt and grown.

[rainbow8]

I feel like I spend too much time on PC and I jokingly use the word "addicted" but I don't know if that's the right term to use. I don't think it's the time spent, but how we feel about that time, and how we are affected by what we read and post. Well, it's both because there are a whole lot of things I could have done this morning instead of being on here for over an hour!

For me, and my T and I discussed it, what isn't good is when PC becomes a barrier between my T and me. I need to go to her for clarification and questions, and not to PC. Also, I tend to get confused when I read different opinions and think that I don't know my own feelings. I want PC to validate me instead of relying on myself.

So, the key as in all things is moderation, and noticing if you feel better or worse from spending a lot of time on PC. I think the positives outweigh the negatives for me; I love this place!!

Squiggle, I'm glad you feel better about all this and have learned from it.

[Chronic]

Squiggle like i said in your previous post, it is for those questions you are asking yourself that i dip in and out of PC. I get triggered a lot by what people post (good and bad) especially about relationships with T. So i try not to get too "addicted" in order to lool after myself. But i do think PC is a great place to come for support understanding and not being judged if you can seperate your own experiences from everyone else

[venusss]

I think it's good,, if you want internet life (nothing wrong with that), to have another social group to go to. For example... go debate reality shows, politics, pets... you get the idea... there are all kinds of communities and you will not get stuck with crazies to talk to. PC is alright forum, and there are some great people here, but some can be infuriating to you and there is not much chances to talk about anything else than how screwed up we are.

[Melbadaze]

Originally Posted by VenusHalley

I think it's good,, if you want internet life (nothing wrong with that), to have another social group to go to. For example... go debate reality shows, politics, pets... you get the idea... there are all kinds of communities and you will not get stuck with crazies to talk to. PC is alright forum, and there are some great people here, but some can be infuriating to you and there is not much chances to talk about anything else than how screwed up we are.

You've got to be kidding? Every forum no matter what its subject matter is full of "screwed up people", they just hide their pathology's behind pets, politics, hobbies etc. People just begin to argue on whats the best way to house train a cat/gerbil/rabbit, some on american political forums actually believe obama is the dark angel, the internet is the way it is no matter the forum

[Perna]

Originally Posted by Squiggle328

My question in the thread was actually something like, "Do you tend to take on the issues that others are having in therapy, and worry that they may happen to you at some point in your therapy journey?"

For me, it depends on the issue, "who" is having it and how they present it. I know I am influenced by what others post and whether I wonder could it happen to me or not depends on how close it is to my own issues (as you found out with your previous version of this post, Squiggle :-)

I don't mind that I put on other people's coats as long as I eventually figure out it wasn't mine and can take it off and either find my own or realize I'm no longer cold or outside and don't need a coat!

I do not think I "collect" other people's issues, like a med student might collect diseases he studies but I do love comparing other people's written experiences to my own and working with all the perspectives I can get. I don't think it is wrong to wonder about whether their experiences could happen to me but I use the wonder to remind myself that I can't know what may or may not happen in the future and how I'll feel about it then and if I perceive something similar happening, I need to immediately bring it up with my T/person with whom it is occurring.

[venusss]

Originally Posted by Melbadaze

You've got to be kidding? Every forum no matter what its subject matter is full of "screwed up people", they just hide their pathology's behind pets, politics, hobbies etc. People just begin to argue on whats the best way to house train a cat/gerbil/rabbit, some on american political forums actually believe obama is the dark angel, the internet is the way it is no matter the forum

But they talk about something else than how they feel and how others feel... it's a good outlet. In real life you talk about the "unimportant" stuff most of the time. I met many nice people on the internet... here and elsewhere.

So what, that they argue? You learn to defend your way to raise up a cat. If you cannot handle opinions of others, than you really need to lock yourself in the basement and turn off your modern and cut off your TV cable. Opinions are gonna be everywhere... thank Gods for that.

I was just saying that one needs more on their mind than their feelings and how they deal with them. You can go to place to discover new music or fashion... outlet. Place to relax. Something to pass your free time, if you happen to have too much of it.

[Melbadaze]

venus, yes and I was just stating my opinion, you seem to jump to self defend rather quick fo someone big on opinions lol, but îm sure turning the internet off and sitting with ones feelings is much more beneficial then idle chatter...which I think I shall endulge myself in today...remember, snip snip when you find an opinion is controlling you

[venusss]

Originally Posted by Melbadaze

venus, yes and I was just stating my opinion, you seem to jump to self defend rather quick fo someone big on opinions lol, but îm sure turning the internet off and sitting with ones feelings is much more beneficial then idle chatter...which I think I shall endulge myself in today...remember, snip snip when you find an opinion is controlling you

So you cannot turn the world off. Dwelling on your hurt feeling too much is not beneficial... It's better to learn to defend your stance. and distractions aren't that bad. Life is about distractions... I would not go to dinner to someone who would talk about their feelings through the whole evening.

and i don't that it's good PC is whole online world to some and big part of the real world for others. It is a good forum, but it is just too limited. There are wonderful things on the internet, just go search.

[Melbadaze]

Originally Posted by VenusHalley

So you cannot turn the world off. Dwelling on your hurt feeling too much is not beneficial... It's better to learn to defend your stance. and distractions aren't that bad. Life is about distractions... I would not go to dinner to someone who would talk about their feelings through the whole evening.

and i don't that it's good PC is whole online world to some and big part of the real world for others. It is a good forum, but it is just too limited. There are wonderful things on the internet, just go search.

who said one only dwells in hurt feelings? and I'd discuss feelings that humanbeings expereince if I was with the right people over dinner, of course I'd check with you and ask if that was ok first lol!!!

[darkrunner]

Originally Posted by Melbadaze

of course I'd check with you and ask if that was ok first lol!!!

It looks like you're trying hard to pick a fight. Adding 'lol' to each of your snarky comments doesn't hide it very well.

Given that the posts on this site are supposed to be supportive - is there something going on in your life that you are struggling with...a reason you seem to be having an issue with another poster on this thread?
It might help to talk about it....

[Melbadaze]

Originally Posted by darkrunner

It looks like you're trying hard to pick a fight. Adding 'lol' to each of your snarky comments doesn't hide it very well.

Given that the posts on this site are supposed to be supportive - is there something going on in your life that you are struggling with...a reason you seem to be having an issue with another poster on this thread?
It might help to talk about it....

huh? lol

This is interesting. When I posted the first version of this thread, I pulled it because of comments that hurt my feelings. Now we seem to be having another totally different issue. Is there a tiff going on?

I really thought my topic was interesting and worth talking about. Maybe I was wrong to bring it up? I have no idea what has gone wrong with it this time.

[darkrunner]

Squiggle,
Don't take it personally.
Little side conversations and disagreements aren't unusual, and it says nothing about you, or your thread, or your topic.

You are right to object, though, and try to bring the thread back to the original topic.

[venusss]

It's nothing personal... it's sometimes somebody says something and somebody else's reacts to in and than the person reacts back to it. Nothing personal. Have you been on other online forums before?

[ladyjrnlist]

Hey! I stayed out of it this time so I know it's not my fault. LOL.
Squiggle. Don't worry. You are doing just fine.

[SpiritRunner]

Originally Posted by Squiggle328

This is interesting. When I posted the first version of this thread, I pulled it because of comments that hurt my feelings. Now we seem to be having another totally different issue. Is there a tiff going on?

I really thought my topic was interesting and worth talking about. Maybe I was wrong to bring it up? I have no idea what has gone wrong with it this time.

I think tiffs just happen sometimes, squiggle....2 people reacting to each other's comments is not anything against you, but I can definitely understand the disconcerting feeling of seeing it play out on your thread! I've been on other online forums before and have seen it happen....even got myself caught in it.
Your original topic is good....and it's good for me to consider what PC means to me personally with the support there is here and the good there is in supporting others, as well as the flip side of having balance in how much time I spend online interacting with people I don't see who still matter to me vs. how much time I spend interacting with the people who are here with me in the flesh. My point on your original thread had to do with finding my own personal balance.....I tend to fall into patterns of addiction/obsession and always struggle with moderation. Anyway, I do have a life and PC is an important part of it right now, because it's helping me with therapy and therapy is an integral part of my life right now, too.....PC is like another form of relationship that is healing in its special way!