[learning1]

MAYBE TRIGGER about depression

So I went back to the same t that I said I was going to stop seeing in my post last week. I was too nervous to email the other t to make an appointment. And the time of my appointment came around and I hadn't done anything, so I went. Luckily he took a lot less of the session talking about himself this time, and it seemed relevant when he did.

So, I started off with usual chatting about something that went on during the week. Then I said I'm kind of lost about where to go with therapy. He asked how I've been feeling and I told him I was pretty down. I kind of ended up being a devils advocate a little about advice he was giving me. Now I feel a little bad for acting like that. The questions I was asking were real, but I don't really know if I disagree w what he was saying. I also feel bad for taking myself seriously and talking about feeling down in the first place. It's weird, it seems like talking about it can make it worse, but if I don't talk about it, why am I going to t? Anyone else have that problem?

He didn't ask me if I wanted another appointment like he usually does and I didn't ask for one. I wasn't sure I wanted one, so at first I appreciated that he didn't ask. After I left, I felt bad for not appreciating that he's trying to help. So now I'm in the same boat as usual, trying to decide which t to go to.

[Mike_J]

I often feel bad about the way a therapy session goes, the things I planned on talking about either don’t take up enough time or I get side tracked onto another topic. But that is the point of therapy, and it’s part of the therapist’s job to get us to talk not about what we want to talk about, but what we need to talk about, and this is often painful. Therapy sounds so easy (just talking to someone), but it’s so hard it’s one of the most difficult things we are ever going to do. Sounds like your therapist has a good idea of what you need.

[jazzy123456]

i can relate to all of this. not sure what the best decision to make is.
but, be gentle with yourself,....therapy is a process and its O.K. that you're unsure of things still... sometimes I wonder how long it will take till we know the right thing to do, the best answer and then other times I wonder if thats not what life is about...its more about the quest, the answers might come along with the ride but, the quest is the only thing that is guaranteed. if that didnt make much sense I'm sorry, I started thinking critically about some things when I began this post. the point is, I hope everything works out but, I don't think you should feel bad for how you felt...it sounds normal and part of how therapy works.

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by learning1

I also feel bad for taking myself seriously and talking about feeling down in the first place. It's weird, it seems like talking about it can make it worse, but if I don't talk about it, why am I going to t?

Yeah, you should be sharing this stuff in therapy. Do you feel guilty for drawing attention to your issues?

[learning1]

Thanks, Mike. Well, I tend to think this t is pretty chatty and doesn't push much or want me to talk about difficult things, but we did talk about a little difficult stuff.

Jazzy, thanks, that's a good point I think, maybe I just shouldn't worry/think too much about how it's going... everything takes time.

Sannah, yes I kind of feel guilty for it. I don't know, it seems like focusing on having felt depressed & talking about it might make it worse, instead of just interpreting things more positively, and I feel a little guilty for bothering anyone about it. I guess that's kind of what t is for, but I still think he'd rather if I wasn't doing it.

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by learning1

Sannah, yes I kind of feel guilty for it. I don't know,

it seems like focusing on having felt depressed & talking about it might make it worse, instead of just interpreting things more positively,

and I feel a little guilty for bothering anyone about it. I guess that's kind of what t is for, but I still think he'd rather if I wasn't doing it.

The part that I enlarged up there ^ sounds like "just get over it"?

[learning1]

Originally Posted by Sannah

The part that I enlarged up there ^ sounds like "just get over it"?

When I first read your post in my email I thought you were telling me to just get over it for a minute, but I didn't think you'd say that. With the quotes around it, I think you mean that's what it sounds like I'm saying? It is pretty much what I'm saying, I guess.

When I told t I don't know what to do about it when I feel that way, he said the things to do are so simple that most people won't believe them at first, and they think he's just being stupid and not understanding them (implying I think he's stupid and not understanding me). I don't think he's stupid, though I didn't think fast enough to tell him. I hope he'll help me understand how to get motivated to do the simple things though. The way we left it sounded to me like "just do common sense simple things to feel better." I made another appointment with him.

[PTSDlovemycats]

Oh sweetie you don't need to feel guilty because of your feelings, we all have those feelings from time to time. Really.