[jpny]

I've been going to a T off and on for the past 2 yrs. More regularly since this past summer, and although I 'know him' I'm still not very comfortable with telling him things. He has tried to get me to take anti depressants for sometime and I didn't want to. Recently I just broken down and went to a pdoc and started on the meds, (today is the 4th week). The meds aren't working and the depression isn't getting any better. I'm frustrated that nothing seems to be working and I have to keep paying for it. Is it even worth staying in therapy when you don't feel like you are getting anywhere?

[XxLifexX]

Go to a different therapist. Keep going to different ones until you find one that works. Same thing with the meds. I've had four medication changes in the past two years. The medication I'm on is working a little better than the old ones.
Keep trying and don't give up!

[WikidPissah]

Hi jpny,

I am so sorry you are feeling so cruddy. I hate depression, it is so dark and painful. Therapy can work, but sometimes you need the right medication to help you get thru therapy. It took several medication attempts before I found one that helped. Keep fighting, don't give up. There is an answer for you, it's just got to be the right combo of T and meds. Post often here as well, the people here are really supportive and can give positive feedback.

[jpny]

Thanks Life & Elileen...
I hear what you are both saying...I have been fighting for sometime now. I just don't think that I have any fight left in me anymore. Its taken everything out of me and its hard just to make it day to day.

[mixedup_emotions]

(((( Hugs ))))

It's hard. Have you talked to your T about how you're feeling? It may help lead you to something worthwhile. In the 2 years that I've been seeing my T, I find that I don't "feel" better - but I have grown an incredible amount and made some important changes in my life. Can you think of anything that has improved since you started therapy?

[jpny]

Originally Posted by mixedup_emotions

(((( Hugs ))))

It's hard. Have you talked to your T about how you're feeling? It may help lead you to something worthwhile. In the 2 years that I've been seeing my T, I find that I don't "feel" better - but I have grown an incredible amount and made some important changes in my life. Can you think of anything that has improved since you started therapy?

Honestly, no...things have been progressively gotten much worse, especially the past 4 months. T knows this as well - I try to talk about it sometimes he seems to get things...other times he doesn't. I know he's trying to be supportive, I just don't know if I can be helped.

[mixedup_emotions]

I'm sorry you feel so hopeless about it. I hope that you don't give up, and that you find the energy and strength to get the help you need - whether it be meds, therapy or both - because you deserve to feel better. Keep posting on PC...there's a large group of very caring people here who are very willing to help be a support to you.

[jpny]

Originally Posted by mixedup_emotions

I'm sorry you feel so hopeless about it. I hope that you don't give up, and that you find the energy and strength to get the help you need - whether it be meds, therapy or both - because you deserve to feel better. Keep posting on PC...there's a large group of very caring people here who are very willing to help be a support to you.

Thank you. I appreciate your encouragement, It's just hard not to give up. It just hurts so bad it's been so long since things were good. I don't want to be like this anymore.

[mixedup_emotions]

It is hard. SO hard not to want to give up, when you're feeling so incredibly low. I don't recall the last time I had a "good" day. When I emailed my T the other day, I told him that I am still taking steps forward, even though all I want to do is crawl into bed and give up entirely.

Yet, I know I can't give up. I have a wonderful 9 year old daughter who deserves for me to keep fighting. Of course, I wish I felt deserved enough...but thankfully, I have her, to keep fighting for, because she's worth it. Someday maybe I'll feel that I'm worth it.

I have also found that forcing myself to get out of the house and DO something, especially with others, helps me from falling deeper into that dark hole. Even if it's the last thing in the world that I want to do.

I'm sorry you're feeling so stuck- I know it's a horrible feeling

It's not that you can't be helped. Perhaps you just don't have the right T and the right meds to help you at the moment?

[jpny]

Originally Posted by mixedup_emotions

It is hard. SO hard not to want to give up, when you're feeling so incredibly low. I don't recall the last time I had a "good" day. When I emailed my T the other day, I told him that I am still taking steps forward, even though all I want to do is crawl into bed and give up entirely.

Yet, I know I can't give up. I have a wonderful 9 year old daughter who deserves for me to keep fighting. Of course, I wish I felt deserved enough...but thankfully, I have her, to keep fighting for, because she's worth it. Someday maybe I'll feel that I'm worth it.

I have also found that forcing myself to get out of the house and DO something, especially with others, helps me from falling deeper into that dark hole. Even if it's the last thing in the world that I want to do.

You have the best reason in the world to keep fighting...your daughter! She is so lucky to have you and you are lucky to have her! I'll probably never have a family of my own. I wish I had the opportunity, but I don't think that at this point it will ever happen. Aside with everything else I'm dealing with...this is also very hard to come to terms with. I don't think that I'll ever know what this is like.

[jpny]

Originally Posted by Improving

I'm sorry you're feeling so stuck- I know it's a horrible feeling

It's not that you can't be helped. Perhaps you just don't have the right T and the right meds to help you at the moment?

Thanks...I think that right now my T might be the best I can do for now. I think that he's starting to get the picture...the meds were his idea and the pdoc. I just don't know what else I can do.

[mixedup_emotions]

Originally Posted by jpny

You have the best reason in the world to keep fighting...your daughter! She is so lucky to have you and you are lucky to have her! I'll probably never have a family of my own. I wish I had the opportunity, but I don't think that at this point it will ever happen. Aside with everything else I'm dealing with...this is also very hard to come to terms with. I don't think that I'll ever know what this is like.

Yes, I do have a great reason....but it's also a burden, knowing that in my lowest times of depression that she is affected. That she's affected by every decision I make...and that my shortfalls will impact her in the long run. As much as I love her and dedicated to doing the best job that I can for her, it's draining to have such pressure...

[jpny]

Originally Posted by mixedup_emotions

Yes, I do have a great reason....but it's also a burden, knowing that in my lowest times of depression that she is affected. That she's affected by every decision I make...and that my shortfalls will impact her in the long run. As much as I love her and dedicated to doing the best job that I can for her, it's draining to have such pressure...

I'm so sorry.

[Can't Stop Crying]

Healing takes time and some times stirring up all the "stuff" that has been held inside can make things worse in the moment. Do you feel comfortable with your T? It can take a while for that relationship to build. Might want to talk to doc about meds, sometimes they can add an adjunct to give the anti-depressants a boost

[jpny]

I have become more comfortable over time with my T. Yes...it has take awhile for that and he knows that it's been difficult for me. This is my 4th week on anti depressants, after the 1st week they had to be cut back because of the side effects. The meds seem to have only made things more difficult to deal with. I'm having a hard time convincing myself that any of this is even worth it anymore.