Don't want to go to T

like what kind of stuff?

I'm not quite sure I know what you are referring to...are you talking about what I didn't get as a child from my parents??

In some types of therapy regression is desired and encouraged. Not age regression exactly, but regression from defences so that the patient can say whatever is on her mind and respond freely in the therapy. A regression to a less inhibited state that can produce child-like responses, responses from the heart and not censored.

Regression in therapy is a fairly common ocurrance in people with BPD and/or BPD traits. It's one of the reasons therapist who work with individuals with BPD and BPD traits need to create a carefully boundaried therapeutic environment, consistentancy in contact and approach and most of all patience and constancy. Many of the concerns we all write here in this form indicate difficulties with abandonment and rejection--for example, great pain when our therapists go on vacation or have to cancel an appointment. The anguish of a rupture in the relationship is often caused by our cognitive distortions (childlike thinking) and the intense pressure we feel to contact our therapists out of session through phone calls, email and/or text--a need to know he/she is out there for us or because whatever we're feeling at that moment is, in our mind's, critical--although at the moment we feel intensely that it is critical, in most cases, when we step back and our crisis is over, we might realize it wasn't that horrible by other people's standards. This is not to dismiss or belittle our feelings, but if you think about how a young child reacts to a crisis, they don't have the same coping skills that an adult person does. So, when we are regressed in our ability to cope, so are our abilities to tap into our skills to deal with the situation. Hope your T is able to help you define all of this for you, Cats. Good luck!

PS I just wanted to add that although some degree of regression is encouraged when treating people who would be diagnosed neurotic, the same state is not advocated when working with people with BPD or BPD traits. If it happens, with some individuals with BPD or traits, it causes brief periods of psychosis and possible need for hospitalization. In most cases, the T wants to work on shoring up coping skills, not regressing the individual to a childlike, vulnerable state. It's one of the reasons DBT is so successful. Once the person learns the skills to cope, then they can begin to work on trauma or other issues that trigger regression.

Just another point of view...
I am diagnosed with BPD and not in CBT or DBT therapy. I am in psychoanalytic psychotherapy and regression is part of that therapeutic approach. Regression as I described above. It does not cause psychosis and I have never been hospitalized. We do not talk about distorted thinking, BPD traits, or coping skills.

Echoes and Jaybird, thank you both so much for your perspectives on regression. Both are very interesting. I really appreciate it.

T is going on holidays for a week now.

(((cats))) why can't the week we don't feel like going.. coincide with the week they are going to be gone?! Kinda works the opposite, though, doesn't it? hmmmm...

Opps, sorry if I stepped on anyone's toes! I misspoke. I didn't mean to say that regression leads to psychosis and/or hospitalization in every person with BPD or Borderline traits.

not my toes!

SERIOUSLY! That would be SO much more effective!!!

I act childlike in therapy when I talk about feelings for my T or when we talk about the child part. When I want her to hold my hand, it used to be the child who wanted that, but now I think I may be more mature and I just like to be touched, period.

I say "it's not fair" in RL, or I used to a lot, as an adult. That's certainly childlike!

I have BPD and don't do DBT either. We do IFS and EMDR, and lots of other things like meditation, walking and talking, and art therapy.

I think regression in therapy, as ECHOES said, lets me be less inhibited and tell my T what I'm feeling. She helps me because she specifically wants me to feel that the "child" part is there so I can tell my T how "she" feels and what she needs from me and from my T.

Thanks for sharing Rainbow. I am VERY childlike I think too often in therapy it seems...

I have to say that I am amazed at how many replies and views this thread has received! I can't believe this is page 20 of this thread!

partially, but also when she sees you acting child-like. im not sure that i actually do this IN therapy, but more of a way i am perceived in life. see the thread i just started!

I guess from my parents I didn't get my needs met. I got the basics, food,water, shelter, clothes, etc. But what was lacking was them taking an interest in MY interests, wants, etc. My feelings went unnoticed and were rarely validated. In Therapy I guess what my T sees is my "Pouty" face, also I tend to make myself look smaller by kind of shrinking myself into the couch. I hope that answers your question. Any yes I saw your thread and I have already replied.

yeah we posted at the same time! My T comments that I shrink into the couch often, trying to curl myself up as small as possible.

I think the "shrinking into the couch" is fairly common.

my therapist comments when I choose to not sit on the couch (she also has 2 chairs) and I feel different on the days I choose to not sit on the couch, sometimes making that decision way ahead of the session and other times not until I walk into the room.

I was aware recently when I was going to choose the chair, but when I got in the room I definitely thought the couch seemed right. I'll have to see if it is related to how I'm feeling (age-wise) at the time...

That sounds like a good experiment Echoes! Keep us posted with how it goes.

Hey PSTDlovescats,

when does your T go on a week break?

I was just thinking how I often dont answer questions with yes or no, I shake my head to answer it, I have always done this in therapy - is that childlike? I guess it is a but, does anyone else do that?

How does it feel when your T asks to see the adult you pstdlovescats??

I have to say I like the times I feel my childlikeness is embraced, it is so comforting and healing for me

xxxx

She is on a break now until June 21. I guess the nodding and shaking heads could be seen as childlike. I do that sometimes. It usually catches me off guard when she sayd she wants to see "Adult Cats"...I think other times I get a little defensive and she says "I'm not saying that to upset you or to be mean, I am simply saying that to bring it to your attention..."

Now all this has me thinking about Attachment and Emotional Dysregulation...Is all of this stuff related? I am hoping Stormy Angels or Dr.Muffin or JD will be able to answer this. Ofcourse if anyone else knows you are more than welcome to answer as well!