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#1
Jul 13, 2011, 03:25 AM
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I didn't ask for this relationship.
YOU are the one that divulged your personal life to me YOU are the one that suggested we go for coffee and meet outside of therapy YOU are the one that told me not to listen to my parents YOU are the one that told me to trust you YOU are the one that prescribed me meds that I became addicted to YOU are the one that told me to move out when I had no money YOU are the one that told me I could call and text you YOU are the one that started phoning me YOU are the one that started buying me gifts YOU are the one that created my dependency on you NOT ME. Please stop blaming me and getting mad at me for the things that you have done. Cats. |
 rainbow8
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#2
Jul 13, 2011, 04:52 AM
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 sounds like your T has been over stepping the mark and that you have every right to be angry. Are you due to see them again?
__________________
Soup |
| PTSDlovemycats
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#3
Jul 13, 2011, 06:23 AM
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((((Cats))))
I just read about what happened with your T last night. I'm so sorry. I had a surge of anger go through me as I read it too! I hate it when T's do this. We're here for you cats. |
| PTSDlovemycats
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#4
Jul 13, 2011, 07:57 AM
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Cats,
I agree! Completely. How are you doing? It sounds like a painful mess, and I'm thinking of you. |
| PTSDlovemycats
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#5
Jul 13, 2011, 08:18 AM
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Tell her those things when you see her again. Chances are, she needs to hear that from you, and then you need to be willing for the possible consequences of telling her those things - ie, that the relationship may very well begin to change, and it may be hard to deal with losing some of those things that T has been giving you, it may be hard to deal with the boundaries re-tightening if T chooses to do that.
But she needs to hear this from you, whatever the consequences are! She stepped over her boundaries and it has caused hurt/trouble for you, so she needs to know that and own her part in what the consquences of her boundary crossings have been for you. |
| PTSDlovemycats
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#6
Jul 13, 2011, 08:34 AM
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Hey hun
 ,did something happen in your last session that has brought up these thoughts and feelings? It sounds like your therapist has been crossing the professional relationship boundaries and treating you more like a friend, which can be nice at times but usually the therapist at some stage will realise they have gone too far and start to back-track..leaving the client feeling worse.  When I look at your list, I have a few questions: YOU are the one that divulged your personal life to me Does she do this in order to help you open up about your own issue or does she just start talking about herself? YOU are the one that suggested we go for coffee and meet outside of therapy Was there a reason for this? Was it to help with social anxiety? It really is breaking the theraputic relationship in the professional sense. YOU are the one that told me not to listen to my parents Do you feel she was wrong? did she say - do not listen to your parents or was it that your parents were upsetting you and suggested that you try to step back from them? YOU are the one that told me to trust you What has she done that makes you regret trusting her hun? YOU are the one that prescribed me meds that I became addicted to Did she warn you of the possibility of this happening? Are the meds she perscribed addictive or was it that you personally found them addictive? YOU are the one that told me to move out when I had no money My T has suggested this at times too but I guess we have to take responsibity for making the decison to do something. Your T didnt force you to move out hun. Do you feel you did it to please her? if you feel it was the wrong choice, can you move back with your parents? YOU are the one that told me I could call and text you I know this has been a problem for many people including yourself. Has she set any limits on this? If not really it is her fault if she is feeling it is too much. YOU are the one that started phoning me What was she phoning you for hun? YOU are the one that started buying me gifts This seems to really cross a boundary as its often almost taboo that a client should want to buy the T a gift so for the therapist to be buying the client gifts seems very strange - where the gifts things that were meant to help you progress in some way? YOU are the one that created my dependency on you I can see how it feels that way hun and in many respects, because she doesnt have good boundaries, it can lead to this happening.. ***massive hugs!!!***
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| PTSDlovemycats, SoupDragon
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#7
Jul 13, 2011, 09:32 AM
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hugs!!!!
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| PTSDlovemycats
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#8
Jul 13, 2011, 02:52 PM
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Quote:
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#9
Jul 13, 2011, 02:52 PM
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Quote:
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#10
Jul 13, 2011, 02:59 PM
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Quote:
She just starts talking about herself It was her idea, I don't have social anxiety She told me not to listen to them She seems unreliable now She didn't warn me at all. Just prescribed addictive meds to me for years She said she isn't calling me anymore She phoned to see how I was doing I don't know what they were for |
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#11
Jul 13, 2011, 03:00 PM
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Quote:
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| WePow
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#12
Jul 13, 2011, 05:32 PM
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I feel like writing all of this down on a piece of paper and then leaving it on my T's windshield...
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#13
Jul 13, 2011, 05:37 PM
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Or maybe just screw the note and slash her tires instead...
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#14
Jul 13, 2011, 05:38 PM
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Quote:
Take it in to her tomorrow. She needs to be confronted! |
| PTSDlovemycats
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#15
Jul 13, 2011, 06:07 PM
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I'm too chicken. I am pretty mch all talk unfortunately...
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#16
Jul 13, 2011, 06:16 PM
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Do what is safe for you to do. I know it is hard to confront peeps (I am the queen of running from confrentation!). But you have to look out for yourself.
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| PTSDlovemycats
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#17
Jul 13, 2011, 06:19 PM
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I don't know if I can. I think a large part of me is scared of her...
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#18
Jul 13, 2011, 06:30 PM
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Quote:
Sending you safe hugs for comfort and courage! |
| PTSDlovemycats
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#19
Jul 13, 2011, 06:31 PM
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** good luck for your session tomorrow hun if you decide to go!**
 Please remember that your T is majorly at fault here. The T is the person who is supposed to be able to inforce healthy boundaries. The fact she swears at you is enough of a reason to report her, so please dont feel afraid of her.
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| PTSDlovemycats
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#20
Jul 14, 2011, 12:01 AM
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Quote:
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#21
Jul 14, 2011, 12:02 AM
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#22
Jul 14, 2011, 01:34 AM
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Maybe the way to find out if she is the right therapist for you is to show her the post you wrote on here. I am sure a good therapist would know how to deal with it well and not let any of their "own stuff" get in the way. Wouldn't it be great if we could only take our assertive adult rational selves with us to T and not get bogged down with all that other stuff that goes on in our heads.
Good luck cats. SD
__________________
Soup |
| PTSDlovemycats
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#23
Jul 14, 2011, 01:54 AM
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Quote:
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| PTSDlovemycats
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#24
Jul 14, 2011, 01:57 AM
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The therapeutic relationship can be so powerful and amazing, and because of this it can also create such pain when T behave questionably.
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| crazycanbegood, PTSDlovemycats
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#25
Jul 14, 2011, 02:11 AM
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((( Cats )))
I can't imagine the pain this is causing you. The T/client relationship is such an intense relationship...and to be talked to this way and to struggle with the integrity of the relationship would elicit such powerful, painful feelings...This is the one relationship that is meant to help you, and instead, it's causing you more pain. I'm sorry you're dealing with this and I hope you find the strength to make some difficult decisions to lead you to better health. (( HUGS ))
__________________
Don't follow the path that lies before you. Instead, veer from the path - and leave a trail... 
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| PTSDlovemycats
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