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#1
Jul 18, 2011, 07:29 PM
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I left my session today not knowing what is right or wrong, up or down, left or right. I keep telling T I just want to feel better and she keeps telling me that she knows I do. Sometimes I feel like I am reaching for something that just isn't there. I thought after 16 months of consistant therapy with my great T that I would have a tool to be able to better navigate through things. Where is the end? Will I just wake up one morning and feel better? Will I just be able to suddenly leave the childhood trauma in the past where it shoud be? So I can start living in the present?
I'm starting to feel like I am never going to get the inner peace I've been striving for. I'm just..... lost...... Can I have a hug? |
 skysblue
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#2
Jul 18, 2011, 07:34 PM
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HUGS!
It does get better... but it's s...l...o...w
__________________
There’s been many a crooked path that has landed me here Tired, broken and wearing rags Wild eyed with fear -Blackmoores Night |
| Hope-Full
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#3
Jul 18, 2011, 07:35 PM
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*safe hug*
__________________
Happiness cannot be found through great effort and willpower, but is already present, in open relaxation and letting go. Don't strain yourself, there is nothing to do or undo. Whatever momentarily arises in the body-mind Has no real importance at all, has little reality whatsoever. Don't believe in the reality of good and bad experiences; they are today's ephemeral weather, like rainbows in the sky. ~Venerable Lama Gendun Rinpoche~ 
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#4
Jul 18, 2011, 07:38 PM
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First, ((((((hug))))))
Therapy can be a very slow process. But when you're at a point you feel like maybe you're "spinning your wheels" and feeling lost, it's time to talk about it. It's nice that T validates feeling like you need and want to feel better, but really there needs to be some work on 'filling your tool box' with ways to manage between sessions and move through things. I don't think that one really 'wakes up' and things just, BAM, change. Or that all the sudden, POOF, childhood trauma resloved. It's a process. Sometimes, a very slow one, a very patient one, a very trying one. It's an everyday, every session effort for now. Again, It really sounds like there needs to be a conversation with T about feeling like we've lost the gravity beneath us, and we need some grounding and direction. Good luck to you. Hugs. Hugs. Hugs. |
| Hope-Full, skysblue
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#5
Jul 18, 2011, 07:44 PM
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I think that changes take time, sometimes a lot of time. One day you will turn around and realize some small positive change that you've made and say, "Wow, this is what all of my hard work has been about!" Keep leaning on your T. and believing what she says.
I always say to myself that I spent over 30 years trying to run from my issues, now it will take some time to learn how to deal with them and come out on the other side. Keep up the good work! |
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#6
Jul 18, 2011, 08:11 PM
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You know, I told T last week that I felt I was just spinning my wheels and not making progress. What she did then was remind me of how things were when I first started and what things had improved and changed. She was right - there was progress. So, maybe ask your T to remind you how you were when you began. Slow progress many times is not noticeable.
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#7
Jul 18, 2011, 08:17 PM
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Thank you all for the hugs and replies everyone. For the past 2 sessions she has been talking a lot about her wanting to start hashing through this trauma stuff more. I can understand, but at the same time I almost feel like shes just getting bored with me. Shes still the same nice caring T, but...I wish she would just be more straight forward if she thinks I should be able to start picking up the pace a little bit on this stuff. Stormy, I told her before I needed her to give me tools. I told her today I needed one for a situation I'll be in this weekend. She told me when I go see my PDOC this week, that I should ask her what she thinks I should do. "Yeah, thanks T. That's a big help. My tool is to go talk to PDOC" I felt like she was just telling me to go talk to PDOC so I can get an extra script and double up on the meds this weekend.
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#8
Jul 18, 2011, 08:26 PM
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Quote:
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#9
Jul 18, 2011, 08:33 PM
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Sky, I was thinking of asking her in my session this coming Friday if shes tired of looking at my mug and see what she says.
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#10
Jul 18, 2011, 08:47 PM
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Quote:
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#11
Jul 19, 2011, 06:08 AM
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Sending you BIG hugs!
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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