[WePow]

Today I am resting. Enjoying the ability to rest. Still enjoying my sobriety. Not as strong of withdraws as yesterday. Just resting.

[Elli-Beth]

Went to first service in the new church in the new town, and it went well. I see T tomorrow on the way back to my old town for two final weeks of packing and moving. I'm exhausted after the long job and apartment search, but I'm excited about starting a new life away from the town where my abuser lives!

[Indie'sOK]

Originally Posted by kaliope

Indie
Congrats on being SI free. Keep up the good work! I know it can be hard.

Thanks Kaliope Yeah, it can be hard.

WePow...that's good that you're enjoying the ability to rest. It's harder than it seems and something I wish I could do

Elli...sounds good! Sounds like a much-needed change for the better

[laceylu]

very tired and wanting my mp3 player to magically work without any effort

[Xeneon]

I kind of in a werid mood lately like I'm numb or idk but this book called one last day. Has me thinking and excited. I can't remember the last time I was excited over a BOOK!!! Reading is helping the brain stop thinking so much. If iam thinking its not about my problems but about this book...lol

[nicoleb2]

Good to hear that some of you are doing so well!

I am stressed right now, my husbands schedule and mine are conflicting and it's an issue with finding someone to watch the kids.
I go to my psychiatrist tomorrow, my meds are not working well and when she put me on them she told me it was basically my last option outside of ECT and I am unwilling to do ECT again

[crazycanbegood]

A slightly better job at studying today. I am still really stressed and my sleeping is so off. I hope I pass the licensing exam!

Now I am super stressed out!! My daughter found some suspicious moles on my lower back. I have recently had a lot of lower back pain along with a tail bone injury. I keep an ice pack on it about 6-8 hours a day to help with the pain. So all of the sudden these brown spots show up? That is odd.

We looked up melonoma and now I am freaking out! Yes, I am a tanning bed person. I am calling the doctor first thing in the morning!

[crazycanbegood]

Squiggle, I hope all is well, and the moles are just, uh, growing pains?? That is very scary though. It's good that they were noticed and you can see a doctor asap.

Btw you keep a icepack on from 6 am to 8 pm? Is that constant? If I am not mistaken, it's harmful to your muscles to keep an ice pak on for longer than 10 minutes at a time. But you're doctor will be to help you with the pain and tell you that you are okay and cancer free hopefully.

[mixedup_emotions]

Originally Posted by Squiggle328

Now I am super stressed out!! My daughter found some suspicious moles on my lower back. I have recently had a lot of lower back pain along with a tail bone injury. I keep an ice pack on it about 6-8 a day to help with the pain. So all of the sudden these brown spots show up? That is odd.

We looked up melonoma and now I am freaking out! Yes, I am a tanning bed person. I am calling the doctor first thing in the morning!

(((( HUGS ))))...That IS stressful! I'm glad you're calling the dr so that you can have this addressed - to ease your concerns!

[mixedup_emotions]

Just checking in.....I'm alive....I'm still in the thick of this depression, but there's been a little bit of movement...I had a little bit of energy today - just enough to clean out the stinky fridge, clean the cat litterbox and take the trash out. So, at least I'm not wallowing in filth...LOL

My daughter is now away again for 4 days....and I'm glad about that, as it was difficult for me to enjoy her while feeling so cruddy emotionally and physically.

I find myself drifting into fantasy...mostly involving my T...and I HATE when that happens, because then I become even more depressed knowing that it doesn't match my reality....Blech.

Originally Posted by crazycanbegood

Squiggle, I hope all is well, and the moles are just, uh, growing pains?? That is very scary though. It's good that they were noticed and you can see a doctor asap.

Btw you keep a icepack on from 6 am to 8 pm? Is that constant? If I am not mistaken, it's harmful to your muscles to keep an ice pak on for longer than 10 minutes at a time. But you're doctor will be to help you with the pain and tell you that you are okay and cancer free hopefully.

I had to go back and put the 'hours' in there. I keep ice packs on it 6-8 hours a day. That is the only thing that helps with the pain. I was told to put ice on it for about 20 minutes, 3-4 times per day. But that was just not working at all. The pain was excruciating. Ice is the only thing that helped at all.

I don't know how keeping ice on it longer would cause these brown spots to appear, but they did just how up all of the sudden after I had been keeping ice on my back for hours and hours lately.

I am scheduled to see an orthopedic specialist as soon as they can work me in. The tail bone pain is horrific! I have no idea how that happened but it has been going on for 3 months now. It finally go to the point that I can't bear it anymore.

My husband did say that those spots may be 'blood blisters' from keeping the ice on so long. I hope he is right!

I really like this thread. We can talk about anything. It does not have to be all about therapy. Sometimes we need a break from talking about the stresses of therapy. I have enjoyed learning other things about some of you.

Be sure to keep posting in here and get your friends to join us as well.

[Indie'sOK]

((((((HUGS))))))) Sqiggie! Please don't worry - worrying only makes things worse

[elliemay]

Well, I'm up with insomnia. Means I am going to have a long day tomorrow - that is assuming tomorrow doesn't turn into today - which I think it already has.

Yuck. I don't even have anything good in the fridge to eat.

Originally Posted by elliemay

Well, I'm up with insomnia. Means I am going to have a long day tomorrow - that is assuming tomorrow doesn't turn into today - which I think it already has.

Yuck. I don't even have anything good in the fridge to eat.

I totally get the insomnia thing! I finally made myself go ahead and take a Lunesta. I need some sleep!! Not much in my fridge either, but that won't stop me. I will drive up to Krystals and get some burgers!

Well, maybe I shouldn't drive since I took the Lunesta.

Originally Posted by crazycanbegood

If I am not mistaken, it's harmful to your muscles to keep an ice pak on for longer than 10 minutes at a time. But you're doctor will be to help you with the pain and tell you that you are okay and cancer free hopefully.

I was looking up the dangers of overuse of ice packs. It can actually cause frostbite. This is more than likely what I have done. I did put the ice packs directly on the skin and kept them there for most of the day. I am feeling a little bit better and not flipping out that it may be melanoma.

It is still something to get checked out, so I am still calling my doctor in the morning.

[Flooded]

I feel a meltdown coming.

So much on my mind..

[sittingatwatersedge]

Originally Posted by granite1

going with my hubby to hang out in the middle of the woods and play in some waterfalls for the day.

this sounds absolutely great, and I love your DH for taking you. Hope it was as wonderful as you both wanted it to be!

[skysblue]

Originally Posted by Flooded

I feel a meltdown coming.

So much on my mind..

Oh no - what can you do to prevent it?

Called my doctor this morning. I have an appointment this afternnoon. I am so nervous!!

[rainbow8]

It's probably nothing, Squiggle, but if it is, you found it early. Want pocket riders? I'll jump in and I'm sure others will.

[rainbow8]

I feel EXPOSED because of the email I sent my T. I wish it were Wednesday already so I could talk to her in person. She sent me my one email already so I just have to wait. I feel good, though. Proud of myself for my honesty.

Originally Posted by rainbow8

It's probably nothing, Squiggle, but if it is, you found it early. Want pocket riders? I'll jump in and I'm sure others will.

I sure hope that its nothing, but I am thinking frostbite or skin cancer! It sure looks like the pics we were looking up on the Internet. Melanoma! Like I said, I am a tanning bed person. Have been for the past 25 years. Then again, it is exactly at the location where I kept ice packs for 8+ hours a day.

Thanks for the offer of pocket riders!! I could use the support right now.

Originally Posted by rainbow8

I feel EXPOSED because of the email I sent my T. I wish it were Wednesday already so I could talk to her in person. She sent me my one email already so I just have to wait. I feel good, though. Proud of myself for my honesty.

I can't tell you how many times I have felt exposed. I am to the point that I may as well go into therapy naked! I feel like she sees right through me anyway~

Good for you with being honest.