Daily Roll Call for Psychotherapy Forum

Sep 14, 2011, 10:36 PM

My husband is really sick. Constantly vomiting. Guess who gets to clean it up? Squiggle does. He is too sick to do much of anything but lie in bed. Even if he wanted to get up, I don't think I would have the strength to lift him into his chair. I wanna go away from here.

kaliope · Sep 15, 2011, 12:19 AM

i left a note for my pdoc to call me. he hasnt. it makes me feel stupid and embarrassed for asking. it took a lot of courage for me to leave that note. ive never asked a pdoc to call me before, but its been two days now so i dont think he is going to call. why does he say he wants to help and then his actions speak differently? i feel like such an idiot

SilentLucidity · Sep 15, 2011, 12:25 AM

T and I had an extra session today, after just seeing her yesterday. The session went well. T is so supportive. I am just very overwhelmed right now. Work was so difficult today. Practicing my breathing.

Well wishes to everyone else.

FourRedheads · Sep 15, 2011, 07:54 AM

Leaving for T appointment in a bit. I'm scared.

rainbow8 · Sep 15, 2011, 11:07 AM

I'm crying. I can't believe I am so pathetic to plug my T into the same place as all the others, and the people before them!

That part hurts and hurts and has to grieve over and over. Why doesn't she ever learn that she's never going to get what she wants from any T or anyone else except ME? Why?????????

Rose76 · Sep 15, 2011, 11:33 AM

My sig. other just dropped by on his way home from an appointment near where I live. We don't live together. I've just gotten up and I am very depressed.

He would keep saying, "Are you alright?" I would keep answering, "No, I'm not." He could see that I am not alright. I was doing so good recently, and he remarked what a change. He should have offered to take me to the psych hospital. He was here for 10 minutes . . . then left to run errands, none of which couldn't be put off.

I been at the hospital with him whenever he was sick. I would make him go when I knew he needed to go. If I go there alone, they say, "How did you get here?" When I say I drove myself, that makes it look like I can take care of myself just fine. Most patients show up with family. When you show up alone, you are treated different . . . like you're nobody . . . nobody who anyone cares about. If you are alone, no one speaks up for you.

He could tell them how good I was doing. He could say that something is wrong with me to get this way. Would they have any answers? I guess not. I guess I just treat myself at home.

nicoleb2 · Sep 15, 2011, 12:55 PM

Rose, if you think you need the hospital, you probably do. Don't be afraid to get yourself there. I have taken myself before. They can help you, even when you bring yourself in! Stay safe!

I am having an ok day. Tired because I didn't get much sleep, but not exhausted like I was before I stopped my sleep med

Rose76 · Sep 15, 2011, 01:09 PM

I don't want to go in-patient. And they won't see any reason for that either. I want to tell them that it is not okay for me to get pdoc appointments canceled over and over again and not get a call returned. The pdoc is supposed to call me back in 48 hours. But if you hear back in a week, you are lucky. It I go to pscyh emerg and say that this is too much anxiety and depression to keep having, they pay some attention.

nicoleb2 · Sep 15, 2011, 02:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rose76

I don't want to go in-patient. And they won't see any reason for that either. I want to tell them that it is not okay for me to get pdoc appointments canceled over and over again and not get a call returned. The pdoc is supposed to call me back in 48 hours. But if you hear back in a week, you are lucky. It I go to pscyh emerg and say that this is too much anxiety and depression to keep having, they pay some attention.

That's awful that it takes your pdoc a week to get back to you! Is it possible for you to get a different pdoc?

mcl6136 · Sep 15, 2011, 02:49 PM

I am doing better today after train wreck T session and am starting to like the sound of my "old" T rather than my cold distant T. Progress in letting go?

Sep 15, 2011, 02:49 PM

I have my sister on my mind today. My other sister sent me a really sweet email earlier today about how much I am loved, but in the email she also talked about how she can't get past our sister's death. How it just isn't getting any easier. I cried and cried when I read it, and wrote her back letting her know I am going through the same thing.

Our sister was a very special person who touched the lives of literally thousands of people. She suffered so terribly during her last year of life. It's hard to get past the pain she went through. It was so traumatic at end for her and for all of us who were witnesses to it.

I changed my avatar to a beagle puppy. Kathy loved her beagles: Abby and Candy. They were her babies. She was so happy when they were with her and loving on her.

kaliope · Sep 15, 2011, 05:56 PM

im upset that my pdoc is not calling me after i requested a call. i have never asked a pdoc to call before but it doesnt make sense that i wouldnt be allowed to request this. i have been doing the homework he requested and now i have had one of my reoccuring nightmares of a tsunami coming to get me. i have this dream during the bad times, a sign that life is too much for me. i have noticed that when i slow down enough to just be, that i am very melancholy and could even be close to tears. pdoc tells me to trust him and he will prescribe for me what i want and i tell him the doses that work for me and he prescribes less. i asked for klonopin for emergencies. i asked for a dozen .5's and he gives me 10 -.25's. the pharmacy doesnt even carry .25's. its like he undercuts everything. reduced my main drug by half. i know what works for me and he is lower dosing it all. it is really frustrating me. so reducing my meds yet asking me to increase my anxiety levels to learn to cope better is just triggering me more doesnt make much sense. just seems to be creating depression which will requrie a different med he will not prescribe a high enough dose of.

SilentLucidity · Sep 15, 2011, 07:24 PM

The group thing I started last night was nice. It will take some getting used to and I cried like a baby in front of people I don't even know. Embarrassing. But I think my letting some things out allowed some of the other women to cry too, so I guess that is a good thing. T told me yesterday that she doesn't not have the ability to put me on disability my primary had to do that. It caught me off guard so now I am questioning my ability to be at work. Of course today I was already crying by 7:45 because I couldn't get my printer to work. Spent 15 minutes trying to decide who to ask for help because I didn't want people to see how upset I was. Maybe I am not fit for work right now. I don't know if I really am capable of making that decision on my own right now.

SilentLucidity · Sep 15, 2011, 07:28 PM

Farmergirl, I LOVE the new avatar. I am comforted to know that you and your sister can lean on each other. I have never experienced that great of a loss and can't even begin to fathom how difficult it must be. Big hugs to you.

cin1 · Sep 15, 2011, 07:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by farmergirl

I have my sister on my mind today. My other sister sent me a really sweet email earlier today about how much I am loved, but in the email she also talked about how she can't get past our sister's death. How it just isn't getting any easier. I cried and cried when I read it, and wrote her back letting her know I am going through the same thing.

Our sister was a very special person who touched the lives of literally thousands of people. She suffered so terribly during her last year of life. It's hard to get past the pain she went through. It was so traumatic at end for her and for all of us who were witnesses to it.

I changed my avatar to a beagle puppy. Kathy loved her beagles: Abby and Candy. They were her babies. She was so happy when they were with her and loving on her.

My sister committed suicide five years ago. i wasn't close to her, but it will always hurt . i will not let myself think about her death much at all, it is too painful, too awful

cin1 · Sep 15, 2011, 07:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rose76

My sig. other just dropped by on his way home from an appointment near where I live. We don't live together. I've just gotten up and I am very depressed.

He would keep saying, "Are you alright?" I would keep answering, "No, I'm not." He could see that I am not alright. I was doing so good recently, and he remarked what a change. He should have offered to take me to the psych hospital. He was here for 10 minutes . . . then left to run errands, none of which couldn't be put off.

I been at the hospital with him whenever he was sick. I would make him go when I knew he needed to go. If I go there alone, they say, "How did you get here?" When I say I drove myself, that makes it look like I can take care of myself just fine. Most patients show up with family. When you show up alone, you are treated different . . . like you're nobody . . . nobody who anyone cares about. If you are alone, no one speaks up for you.

He could tell them how good I was doing. He could say that something is wrong with me to get this way. Would they have any answers? I guess not. I guess I just treat myself at home.

Rose, when my husband took me to the hospital, he didn't understand exactly what had happened to me, and he didn't know what to do. He felt helpless. i haven't tried to check in alone, but i certainly have tried to check out.. you are in my thoughts.

Sep 15, 2011, 08:41 PM

Even though I love my job, it is stressing me out. I wish I could get all my paperwork done! I try to focus on my students and 'teaching' during the school day. The paperwork is done after school. Many l o n g hours of paperwork!! I am overwhelmed with all that teachers are expected to do. We wear many, many hats. Sometimes I cannot remember which hat I have on!

Rose76 · Sep 15, 2011, 11:27 PM

cin1 Very sorry, Cin.(about your sister)

nicoleb2 · Sep 16, 2011, 01:45 AM

Tired, tired, tired. I am really hoping that my pdoc calls back today to let me know what i should do about sleep. The doxepin he had me on was causing exhaustion and suicidal thoughts, so i stopped taking it

Sep 16, 2011, 05:29 AM

Just curious: How many of you are teachers? If so, what grade?

Hope-Full · Sep 16, 2011, 06:37 AM

I teach elementary - and wow.... since school started last Tuesday, I've gotten to bed no earlier than 11:30 each night, have written three days of sub plans for meetings that I didn't want to go to in the first place, dealt with 3 lost teeth (students), curriculum night, conferences, a new school-wide discipline system, having to administer 25 one-on-one reading assessments WHILE still teaching the rest of the group, all while learning the curriculum for the new grade I'm in this year.

Add to the school piece the fact that three days a week I have to leave with the kids to get to appointments... leaves for a lot of work at home, and a lot of stress...

BUT. I love my job and wouldn't trade it for anything!

Hugs needed · Sep 16, 2011, 06:49 AM

I miss my T but I have to wait until Monday.

Sep 16, 2011, 08:24 AM

Seeing my T for the third time this week tonight. The progress is so slow. And, I have been very depressed since leaving my last appointment. As usual, I will try to self-motivate to get through the day. Will it ever pay off?